Slowly I'm turning into a loner.

This is a discussion on Slowly I'm turning into a loner. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I've recently become aware that I don't really have any friends left. Last night was a good example of why I choose not to hang ...

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Thread: Slowly I'm turning into a loner.

  1. #1
    Member Array Gamisou's Avatar
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    Slowly I'm turning into a loner.

    I've recently become aware that I don't really have any friends left.

    Last night was a good example of why I choose not to hang out with certain people. A friend of mine had his friends and family over his house for the 4th. He lit off some fireworks, which led to the police being called. He became very disrespectful to the police and I really don't know how he doesn't get arrested.

    To make a long story short, he made an ass out of himself and was disrespectful to everyone there. He obviously cant handle his liquor. I'm fine with people making asses of themselves, but don't disrespect me. Being the responsible person that I am, his parents asked for my help to calm their kid down. (He is 25) He doesn't even listen to me, and I felt like knocking the kid out for his own good.

    I have no patience for all that drama, and I find myself feeling somewhat anti social because similar situations have happened to me in the past, and I discontinue my presence in their company.

    I refuse to babysit idiot drunks, and friends who become belligerent after a few drinks. Do people really have that many behavior issues?!

    Please tell me I'm not the only one

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    You're not alone. I have little patience for the sort of intelligence, mindset and behavior that gets folks in trouble. There are too many decent folks out there to let the ooze at the bottom of the barrel get your goat. That sort are on their own. Without them, life can be much simpler and richer as a result.
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  4. #3
    Senior Member Array mi2az's Avatar
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    I guess it is the type of people you associate with. I do not have that problem and when I was in my 20's, everyone of my associates were into their careers and not getting into trouble with the law.

    It might also be a generational thing. When I was growing up, we had to respect our elders and police. They must not been raised right or raised as I was
    "When the people fear the government you have tyranny...when the government fears the people you have liberty."

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  5. #4
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Oh, rest assured you are not the only one.

    When I was much younger and in the Navy (you can read that as: stupid and apt to drink a lot) I had all kinds of "friends". Tons of people I could always count on to go out with and drink some beer and act like the morons we were.

    Then I grew up, emotionally, everyone grows up physically no matter what. It is the growing up emotionally that escapes some people. Some of them all their lives.

    I have maybe 4 people that I would "hang out" with these days and darned if they all don't carry too. In my experience, that can be an indicator that a person has grown up and matured emotionally.
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  6. #5
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    I hear ya'...

    I'm not really a guy who needs a lot of friends (like my wife does), but I think many guys are just like that...

    I've seen a lot of immaturity with the younger species, but I also remember that I did a lot of immature things during past days myself.
    This story has been told generation after generation.

    My wife always says that I didn't come with a little 'baggage', I came with 'designer luggage'

    Stay armed...choose your friends wisely...stay safe!
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  7. #6
    Member Array Tiny85's Avatar
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    Welcome to the decay of society. Only option you have is to talk to him about it when he is sober. If he is a "mean" drunk he needs to be very aware of it before he really gets himself into trouble.

    He sounds like what me and my friends like to call "amature drunks." Too many people jump into the deep end of drinking when they need to spend some time in the kiddie pool. Drinking is like any other drug people build up a tollerance to it, once you add an "amature drunk" and they try and keep pace with a veteran drunk they cause problems for everyone around. 3 to 6 beers over the course of an evening should be enough to get a nice buzz but not lose control. Drinking is about the buzz not getting stumbling blackout drunk. what fun is anything if you can't recall what happened.

    Talk to your friend, if he has to quit drinking then has to quit drinking, the next person he really pisses off might not be as restrained or composed as you or those cops were.
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  8. #7
    Senior Member Array Chevyguy85's Avatar
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    nope not the only one. I'll be 24 next month and I don't like big parties or big get togethers. I drink very rarely and most of the time hardly get a buzz anyway. Even when i drink there are only a few people that i will drink with in the first place. i have only a few people i consider real good friends the rest are just people i know.

  9. #8
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    People who get radical personality shifts after having consumed alcohol have psychological problems.

    Also...people who drink alcohol in order to get passed out drunk are usually very unhappy people inside.

    The way you see them when they are intoxicated is the way they really are deep down inside all the time.

    The booze just gets rid of that exterior surface skin and reveals what is usually kept hidden underneath when they are sober.

    Hey, but there are all kinds of personality types floating around out there.

    The smart people who know that they turn into something alien, angry, mean, and socially disgusting (in general) when they drink alcohol....stop consuming alcohol and just don't drink anymore.

    Folks who occasionally and sporadically have a few social alcoholic beverages in order to loosen up and have a jovial good natured time with friends and family are basically well balanced people and having a drink or two after a tough and stressful day is pretty much accepted normal behavior.

    People who believe that they are going to Hell if they consume the slightest bit of alcohol are usually just as whacked out in the head as the people who only drink to get drunk.
    It's just that they are whacked out in a totally different direction.

    Having a small amount of red wine with a meal is actually GOOD for your heart.
    My M-In-Law is under orders from her cardiologist to have a bit of red wine every day & he is on the Board Of Director of Alleg General Hosp in Pittsburgh.

    And then there are the people who just don't like drinking alcohol or drinking any beverage that contains alcohol and those are people who have never had me tending bar for them because I can be a downright amazing mixologist. <~~~
    Seriously though...if you don't like it then don't drink it.
    That's fine.

    All of the above just my personal opinion.
    Moderation is the key to healthful living.

  10. #9
    Senior Member Array PointnClick's Avatar
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    I don't like belligerent drunks myself... back in my youth, I hung with some serious power drinkers, but like me, they were all happy drunks... we just wanted to laugh and dance and act like fools, but not be disrespectful or belligerent to anyone.

    Tiny is correct about "amateurs"... The biggest drinking day is the one I avoid... New Years Eve, or "amateur night" as I call it. I haven't been out to a New Years Eve party in more than a decade...
    "Who is to say that I am not an instrument of karma? Indeed, who is to say that I am not the very hand of God himself, dispatched by the Almighty to smite the Philistines and hypocrites, to lay low the dishonest and corrupt, and to bust the jawbone of some jackass that so desperately deserves it?"

  11. #10
    Ex Member Array PNUT's Avatar
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    I've never hung out with people like that. I'm very picky when it comes to friends. I'm friendly and sociable with everyone, but a persons character is important to me as far as being friends goes. If your friend turns into a jerk when he drinks, he shouldn't drink.
    I have three friends, had four but one has passed away.
    Nothing wrong with drinking and having a good time, some people just can't do that though.

  12. #11
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    Welcome to adulthood!
    Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.-Seneca

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  13. #12
    Senior Member Array Rob P.'s Avatar
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    I think you just learned something. Those of us who believe that life is a serious deal are overwhelmingly outnumbered by those who think it's a big party.

    This puts us into the minority and, since there aren't so many of us, we tend to spend lots of quiet time with our families and/or at home in the evenings. We're not "loners" we're peace seekers. (NOTE: this is peace Seekers not peacekeepers.)

  14. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by goawayfarm View Post
    Welcome to adulthood!
    That is exactly what I was going to post.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  15. #14
    Ex Member Array Ram Rod's Avatar
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    Friends? I have a gun safe full of them, and they never disappoint or embarrass me. True friends.....just a handful actually. The only ones that can depend on me, and those I can actually trust. Loner...maybe, but I'm an independent sort anyway and those friends of mine are the same way.

  16. #15
    Distinguished Member Array Colin's Avatar
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    The problem is that as you grow up, some of your friends don't. At some point you need to leave them behind and enjoy the memories of those days. Get involved in activites that you like, volunteer for stuff, you will find friends and mentors that you will want to be around. Working hard for a volunteer organization will be good for your resume and get you job offers.

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