For Patti, Bunny and everyone else out there! - Page 4

For Patti, Bunny and everyone else out there!

This is a discussion on For Patti, Bunny and everyone else out there! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; GunnyBunny, I found a list of classes you might be interested in taking. I'll send this to Mrs. GunnyBunny so she can get you enrolled ...

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Thread: For Patti, Bunny and everyone else out there!

  1. #46
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    GunnyBunny, I found a list of classes you might be interested in taking. I'll send this to Mrs. GunnyBunny so she can get you enrolled ASAP.

    Summer Classes for Men

    Due to the Complexity and Difficulty Level Of Their Contents, Class Sizes Will Be Limited to 8 Participants Maximum.

    Class 1: How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3: Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5: After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 6: Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

    Class 7: Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum . Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8: Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9: Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life testimonials. Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10: Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11: Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

    Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 14: The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill


  2. #47
    Ex Member Array PNUT's Avatar
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    Class 7: Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum . Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


    Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM


    Please sign me up for those three.
    The shopping class might make me a little suicidal...not sure if I can handle that one.

  3. #48
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    You forgot one:

    Class 666: Putting The Seat Down --- Group Practice. Meets every third Tuesday 9:00 PM for 30 minutes, for the rest of your natural life.

    This is the follow-up to Course #3, to ensure it "sticks."

    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    Upon completion of all courses, the body will be bronzed and immortalized as having finally learned to "walk and chew gum."
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  4. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    GunnyBunny, I found a list of classes you might be interested in taking. I'll send this to Mrs. GunnyBunny so she can get you enrolled ASAP.

    Summer Classes for Men

    Due to the Complexity and Difficulty Level Of Their Contents, Class Sizes Will Be Limited to 8 Participants Maximum.

    Class 1: How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3: Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5: After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 6: Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

    Class 7: Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum . Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8: Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9: Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life testimonials. Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10: Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11: Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

    Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 14: The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    OK Patti,

    I think we can compromise on this.

    I'll do none of the above, and you can bring me a beer.

    How does that work for you??
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.

  5. #50
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Been nice knowin' ya, Gunny ...
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  6. #51
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyBunny View Post
    OK Patti,

    I think we can compromise on this.

    I'll do none of the above, and you can bring me a beer.

    How does that work for you??



    You are hopeless!
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

  7. #52
    Distinguished Member Array CT-Mike's Avatar
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    Gunny,

    I can see Patti talking to Paco's wife and a TKD arse-kicking in your future.

    "The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield, and government to gain ground."

    - Thomas Jefferson

    "I'm the arrow, you're my bow, shoot me forth and I will go"

    "Do not let any individual posts put a knot in your Big Boy Under-Roos"

  8. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post


    You are hopeless!
    Thanks, and where's my beer?
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.

  9. #54
    Ex Member Array PNUT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyBunny View Post
    OK Patti,

    I think we can compromise on this.

    I'll do none of the above, and you can bring me a beer.

    How does that work for you??

    I gotta hand it to you, that was just plain BRILLIANT.
    I laughed so hard, I believe I've twisted an intestine, on the way to the Vet now to get it fixed.

  10. #55
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highvoltage View Post
    Actually, his math is correct. The Boolean operator for AND is * or multiplication. The Boolean operator for OR is + or addition. Your equation would yield Women = Time OR Money, which is incorrect.

    Therefore, Women = Time and Money is correctly stated as:
    Women = Time * Money (or Time X Money). This leaves the rest of the equations correctly stated.

    Oh, BOOLEAN! My bad! I'd assumed from the childish scrawl it was written in that we were dealing with a very young child, still learning basic math skills and symbols.
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


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  11. #56
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyBunny View Post
    Thanks, and where's my beer?
    WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE

    Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

    She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

    She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to maintain the old custom.

    Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once
    tried so desperately to change?'

    The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, 'Land Mines.'
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

  12. #57
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    ROFL!!! I would have guessed the B.O. too! :)
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


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    NRA Member & Pistol Instructor

    www.vanguardnc.com

  13. #58
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    Oh where do I start?? First let me apologise to everyone out there b/c Walter Mitty (aka GunnyBunny) has been forgetting to take his medicines. So I have asked the nice gentlemen in the special ward to be sure he takes ALL of his pills each day. They promised me they would see to it and even promised me that they would clean up all the drool on the floor in the padded room where he is kept.


  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsGunnyBunny View Post
    Oh where do I start?? First let me apologise to everyone out there b/c Walter Mitty (aka GunnyBunny) has been forgetting to take his medicines. So I have asked the nice gentlemen in the special ward to be sure he takes ALL of his pills each day. They promised me they would see to it and even promised me that they would clean up all the drool on the floor in the padded room where he is kept.

    Of course I only gave her access to the computer after she made my dinner and brought me my beer, did the dishes, did the laundry....................
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.

  15. #60
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    Oh, BOOLEAN! My bad! I'd assumed from the childish scrawl it was written in that we were dealing with a very young child, still learning basic math skills and symbols.
    Ah, could very well be. I assumed the opposite.

    So, I'll compromise and go with your assumption.

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