This is a discussion on Middle aged dating/relationship advice needed within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by SIXTO Sometimes, attraction will grow with the friendship. IMO, thats the best kind of marriage one could hope for. Or you can ...
Friends don't let friends be MALL NINJAS.
I am just as nice as anyone lets me be and can be just as mean as anyone makes me. - Quoted from Terryger, New member to our forum.
You should be going to this date looking to meet a friend face to face for the first time. It's a lot less pressure, and it sounds like you enjoy her company.
The way I see it, your in a win/win situation. On one hand you could meet the love of your life, on the other you meet someone to get you out of the house a few times a month to enjoy a good dinner and good company.
Get the U.N. out of the U.S.
Get the U.S. out of the U.N.
I feel for ya Tally.. I'm a little younger, but it has been six years with only one serious relationship since my divorce.. What I've found is normally girls/ladys are not who they say they are online, so don't get the expectations to high. ya have to be true to yourself and if you see a red flag flying, don't ignore it..
As said above.. Keep it short the first time.. Coffee or something is good.. If things are giong good you can always keep it going longer,.. Remember, you'll not really know who she is for a month.. As for you.,.. be honest and don't "polish the apple" as Pastor said..
I'm the last person that should be giving advise I think.. :-) I stink at relationship,..
Good luck,. Hope it all works out,. Keep us posted..
And if things go great stop by the Dr. for a script for the little blue pills. Never know how things will play out. I have to thank my ex-girlfriend for the introduction to my wife. She thought that we would get along great. 17+years later I guess she was right. Looks fade, but a good friend will be there for you. let us know how things go. Good luck.
Don't walk up and ask her how she likes her eggs in the morning,poached,fried,or fertilised
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
Remember it may be her who is not attracted to you, how would you like her to handle the date with you if so? Also don't let your face tell her how you think she looks, and if she's ugly and all, remember the person you met is still in there. If only we could see other people the way God see's them, from the inside.
“I am consistently on record and will continue to be on record as opposing concealed carry.”
- Barack Obama Chicago Tribune, April 27, 2004
NRA Certified Pistol Instructor
A gun in the hand is a million times more valuable than a cop on the phone!
FL Concealed Weapon or Firearm Program
OP wrote: "This has, so far, been totally blind, began with email conversations, then Instant Messaging and we have just graduated to telephone conversation for the past three nights. We plan to meet publicly this weekend on a first date. "
Not a dating specific answer, I have found that people I first get acquainted with via e-mail, forums such as this, and similar non-verbal media, frequently are not at all like what my imagination thought they would be like.
The telephone conversations the OP had may or may not give him a more clear
assessment of the lady.
So, my advice would be to not be surprised either way. Just act yourself, act your age, be polite and respectful, and see how things go.
Advice? Be yourself.....know what you want, and forget what you need. Expectations are a downfall, history should remain history. It's a new day. Hopefully the both of you will make up for what's lacking in each others' lives. Personally, I'm in tune with the zodiac signs and compatibility. That alone has worked for me many times. Physical attraction has nothing to do with any of this. A common goal in life is always good even though that may be obscure at first, even for a while. But you'll have to trust in yourself first and everything else will come naturally. Best part about being middle aged is that we ought to know by now what we really want. Time to settle down and enjoy life and the surprises it brings. No apprehensions, no anxieties, no stereotypes. Just jump in, take one day at a time, and enjoy the experience for what it is. After one marriage, and four long term relationships, I still believe in true love. I myself am going at it again.
As a single in my 30s I foolishly felt that what I wanted was a 24-year-old blonde cheerleader. A young lady called my roommate (houseful of guys trying to save money) to get tickets to a church squaredance. We chatted for an hour, and later I took her out for lunch. But since she didn't meet my criteria, I tossed any idea of a RELATIONSHIP... and felt comfortable proceeding with a mere 'friendship'. We spend the next few months going out for coffee and such, chatting about common interests - and we had a simply delightful time. Somewhere along the way I realized that a romantic involvement might be a possibility... and indeed it developed. By God's grace she said 'yes' when I popped the question, and we've now been married for 21 years.
I REALLY thank God, too, that I had no 24-year-old blonde cheerleaders anywhere nearby - who knows what sort of a fool I might have made of myself, and I might never have paid any attention to the gem who I later married.
Hope you feel free to develop a friendship: if it goes further, great! If all you get is a friend out of it, that's also great!
I was in a VERY similar situation about 3 years ago. I met this person through E-Harmony. Our interests were similar. She held off on meeting face to face for months. I really enjoyed talking to her and e-mailing back and forth.
When we finally met, nothing "happened". I thought that maybe things would develop after we had seen each other a few times.
The problem was that nothing ever "happened" for me but apparently it did for her.
This woman was not ugly or anything. I just found that I could be her friend but nothing more. I don't know why. I didn't like the way it ended.
Anyway, a couple of months afterward (after a lot of prayer!) a fantastic woman "appeared" at work. We've been married for 2 years now. (Our first date was at the local range BTW.)
I can't tell you the difference in these two except that something just "clicked" when I met my future wife. I think you need that "chemistry" or whatever it is. I DO think that physical appearance does have a little to do with it but of course there is a lot more.
My advice is to take is slow, be careful not to misrepresent yourself and see how it goes. It's like my grandmother always said, "If there is any doubt in your mind, then it isn't right." - Hold out for "right".
Your post sounds like that of a kind and thoughtful man. Why not swap pictures through email? I am 50 and married 7 years to my 4th wife.We met online. She is the one I wish I had met first. One thing you should keep in mind, when you get in your 40's,the statistics tell us we have,what,25 to 35 years left? Do what is right for you! Time moves so fast.If you meet someone and there is not a mutual attraction,do not waste time. Does she have children?How old? Crazy ex-husband? Run an online background check(these are not always complete). I would not hesitate to ask questions of someone I might become involved with. I wish you the best in the dating scene. Be honest and up-front. Adults do not play games. I hope all this makes sense, I know so much about this subject I tend to blurt things out.Best wishes.