Blonde Ran Over A Mattress

This is a discussion on Blonde Ran Over A Mattress within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I'm ashamed to be blonde today......

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Thread: Blonde Ran Over A Mattress

  1. #16
    Member Array Czampion's Avatar
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    I'm ashamed to be blonde today...

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  3. #17
    Senior Member Array jca1's Avatar
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    My office manager is a blonde...we have these handheld units to keep data from the trucks. These handhelds are placed in a cradle every evening to charge and download. One of them quit working. Office manager called tech. support, and in the process of diagnosing the unit the tech. told her to put the handheld in the "dock" She said:" you want me to turn the lights out?" True story.

    She's a very intellegent woman, just never heard the cradle called a dock, she thought he said dark because of his accent....we all about died.

  4. #18
    Member Array sp2022's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by puckerstring
    That is funny, My wife once went to the tire store to get some new tires on the pickup. She came home and proudly had me go look at the new tires. I went outside, looked at the tires and then came back in and exclaimed "what did you do:" She stated " What do you mean". I told her she must have gotten the tires at Wally world, due to the fact that she now had right handed tires mounted on the left side of the Pickup. She stated " Really!" She called Wally World where she rally did buy the tires and started to rip on them about there error. I am rolling on floor laughing when she see's me and immediatly hangs up the phone, Madder than a Wet Hen. I didnt get no lovin for several days
    You think thats funny, but whats even funnier is that some tires are directional, meaning if you do not have them rotating the right way you will break the belts inside the tire and you will have a flat in no time or even a blowout. "Not so funny then"

  5. #19
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    One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.

    AND THIS ONE IS FOR GUNNYBUNNY:
    A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk down a beach when suddenly the brunette discovers a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and POOF! a magic genie appears. The genie tells the girls that he will grant them three wishes, so each girl will have a turn. The redhead goes first and tells the genie that she's always been really smart and she is sick of being teased, so she asks the genie to make her just semi-smart. Suddenly the redhead is turned into a brunette.
    Next, the brunette takes her turn. She tells the genie that she has always just been sort of smart and she wants to be really smart. Suddenly the brunette becomes a redhead.
    Finally, it's the blonde's turn. She thinks for a minute and then tells the genie that she's always been dumb and she's tired of being dumb. The blonde says that she wants to be really dumb. Suddenly, the blonde becomes a man!
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  6. #20
    Senior Member Array InspectorGadget's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shooterX View Post
    I thought this was a joke until I saw the photos, man what an idiot!
    I thought it was a blond joke too.
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  7. #21
    Distinguished Member Array GWRedDragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sp2022 View Post
    You think thats funny, but whats even funnier is that some tires are directional, meaning if you do not have them rotating the right way you will break the belts inside the tire and you will have a flat in no time or even a blowout. "Not so funny then"
    Must make it hard to back out of a parking space.

    Those pictures look faked...I find it hard to believe that that much wire and stuff could really get stuck up there like that!

    A bunch of years ago, I ran over an already squished traffic cone that was in the middle of the road. I thought because I was in an SUV that I could straddle it...well, I couldn't, and it was wedged in there real good too. I had to put the front wheels on the curb to get it out, and this was on a little side road by a whole bunch of federal buildings...security everywhere, concrete barricades, everything. And me sitting there with the front wheels of my car on the curb trying to pry a traffic cone out of the bottom of the car. Oh, and this was right after 9/11.
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  8. #22
    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    It wasn't a joke.......and pics!

    Quote Originally Posted by SelfDefense View Post
    ........ that 1971 Chevy Impala was back on the road again.
    I had a '72......what great family "battle tanks" those were
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  9. #23
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    I've seen some stuff wrapped up like that mattress, btw that is a tough task to remove especially because it's tight. About the only remedy I know is wire cutter and/or cutting torch. Though I'd be tempted to consider cutting the drive shaft and wire completey off the car. I think the labor messing with the wire might overwhelm the cost of a new/used drive shaft.

    I've seen barbed wire wrapped around bush hog blades, and tall rye grass wrapped up in a big ball like that around a PTO shaft on a mower. Speaking of PTO shafts don't let any part of your clothes get close or ever touch one while it's spinning......you'll be wrapped up around it too.
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  10. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by GWRedDragon View Post
    Those pictures look faked...I find it hard to believe that that much wire and stuff could really get stuck up there like that!
    I can attest that those pictures look about right.

    I actually hit a mattress many years ago on a three lane highway, I was boxed in and had no place to go.

    Not only did the springs and "stuff" wrap the drive shaft, but tangled the cables that controlled the parking brake (I said it was years ago!), and stopped the vehicle dead in the road! I was just thankful it was a government vehicle, and not my POV!
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  11. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotGuns View Post
    How would you like to be the one that got nominated to get that crap off?
    She would definately be purchasing a new drive shaft if I were the mechanic given this work to do. It would probably be cheaper than paying the labor to remove that bundle of crap.

    It looks like the stuff wouldn't be too bad to get off the yokes and differential but that driveshaft is headed for the scrap bin.
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  12. #26
    Senior Member Array Pure Kustom's Avatar
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    This happened to me, I hit a cardboard box in the deck park tunnel. I figured it got flattened and free. There was alot of traffic, So I didn't see it in the rearview. I kept driving along, didn't hear anything. So I figured everything was ok. About 25 minutes later..........

    I was in Traffic at Elsworth and McDowell and a Guy pulling out of his drive way, got out of his car and waving his hands yelling your truck
    is on fire. I stop my truck glance under the drivers seat where I am sitting and see flames coming up I threw it in reverse and it got loose.

    That was one tough box. I dragged it about 30 miles during a Arizona summer.

  13. #27
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    I've seen women driving down the road with the gas pump handle still sticking out of their car and the hose dragging behind, but I've never seen a mattress before. Wow!
    It is surely true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Nor can you make them grateful for your efforts.

  14. #28
    Senior Member Array highvoltage's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    .... The blonde says that she wants to be really dumb. Suddenly, the blonde becomes a man!
    Now, now, now. Be nice. Personally I don't bash women, and I don't expect to be bashed for being a man.

  15. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by puckerstring View Post
    That is funny, My wife once went to the tire store to get some new tires on the pickup. She came home and proudly had me go look at the new tires. I went outside, looked at the tires and then came back in and exclaimed "what did you do:" She stated " What do you mean". I told her she must have gotten the tires at Wally world, due to the fact that she now had right handed tires mounted on the left side of the Pickup. She stated " Really!" She called Wally World where she rally did buy the tires and started to rip on them about there error. I am rolling on floor laughing when she see's me and immediatly hangs up the phone, Madder than a Wet Hen. I didnt get no lovin for several days

    HAHAHAHAHAHA...... Good stuff there..

    That is amazing that a flat mattress got hooked on the driveshaft.. WOW...

  16. #30
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Silly blonde girl don't she know the mattress goes in the bed of your pickup
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