whats happened to society, or is it just this town?

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July 29th, 2009, 06:27 PM
Pure Kustom

Quote:

Originally Posted by mutumbo

but thats not the point, the person who is not dressed up isnt the one whos offended, its the person who is dressed up who is upset at how the 1st person looks. so if the guy in shorts and a t shirt is completely fine with how he looks at said funeral, then why should he change when its someone else who is offended? sounds like the second person should grow up and not care so much what people look like on the outside.

EDIT:
to put this in more of a context, i have 5 facial piercings that i wear 24/7. no matter where im going, or who im going to be around, funerals, church(when i still went), work, school . . . whatever. do you think that just because some one doesnt like the way i look im going to change that based on their opinion? you'd have to be stupid to think that im going to dress or look a part that im not comfortable with(without my piercings). you dont like the way i look, tough ****. beacuse if youre going to be that superficial about things then chances are you arent worth my time fighting with anyway. granted most of my family dosent agree with what i have done, or plan on doing, but its how i feel most comfortable, and altthough they dont agree they still RESPECT me enough to let me do my thing.

What he said!!! It sure does seem that the person judging the other person by what they are wearing is the person with the problem.

mutumbo, You beat me by 1. I have four and they don't come out!!!!
July 29th, 2009, 06:50 PM
Bunny

Mutumbo, it sounded to me that Jca1 was upset that the "ladies" at the funeral were dressing VERY immodestly, and the "gents" were slovenly. Someone mentioned a shirt with a pot leaf on it. Come on, really? That seems out of place. I don't think a Brooks Brothers suit is the dress code, but a pot leaf, or tiny skirts/booty shorts at a funeral?

I can't help it, it still seems disrespectful to me. I guess there's a place and a time for everything, but the above at funeral doesn't seem to be the appropriate place/time. I realize that's just me, and it may be intolerant. It's still how I feel.

Tats (I have 4) and facial piercings don't quite fit in that category to me. Personally, it's self-expression/art/what have you. (Let's not say it's the same as a pot shirt and Daisy dukes please.) Obviously you can't remove a tattoo, but who would want you to, it's a part of your body. Same with the piercings, I think.

Now, if the Tattoo was obscene, or said something hate-filled (NOT that yours does, I'm just wildly theorizing here) then maybe the polite thing to do would be to cover it up when at a funeral or something, but that's probably a whole other debate.
July 29th, 2009, 06:54 PM
Rob P.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jca1

OK, I've thought about this whole thing a lot today and yesterday, Ive re-read a lot of the posts here including my own and i think I have learned some things. I also think I have been understood, or miscommunicated my feelings.

1) I do not judge people by the way they dress or look, but at the same time I do think a book that looks like a love story, will likely be a love story, and if a person dresses like a love story they should expect to be viewed as a love story and if they don't like it they should grow up or dress another way that their fragile little brains can handle.
2) I appreciate everything everyone has had to say, and much of what I have read has helped me.
3) I guess that I learned to wear nice stuff to certain events and some people did not, that does not make me right or them wrong or vice versa.

4) I think a lot of my issues with this funeral actually were derived over an event that angered me severely concerning the person who passed and a member of their family before the funeral and before the person's passing actually. I guess I felt like everyone was trying to disrespect the deceased in the same manner, and She was a good woman that I cared for very much.

This is the heart of the issue. And, you are still projecting your opinion onto others based upon their appearance.

It doesn't matter if you don't like "love stories." It doesn't matter if you think "love stories" are trash. It is the PERSON and not the clothes or appearance that counts. Or, to use your analogy, it is the moral behind the story in the book and not the cover that is important.

I respect GREATLY your restraint in not turning this thread into a "you bashed me first" thread.
July 29th, 2009, 07:07 PM
chrise2004

This is sad.... it's happening all over the country. I guess there are always people out there that just don't care. No matter where you live.

I was at our local mall about 2 weeks ago and was just astounded how parents let their "young ladies" dress. The sad thing was...the mothers/fathers we're right there with them walking along like it was "cute". If I have a daughter she wouldn't leave the house let alone her room looking like some of the girls that dress in today's society.
July 29th, 2009, 07:33 PM
jca1

Quote:

Originally Posted by mutumbo

but thats not the point, the person who is not dressed up isnt the one whos offended, its the person who is dressed up who is upset at how the 1st person looks. so if the guy in shorts and a t shirt is completely fine with how he looks at said funeral, then why should he change when its someone else who is offended? sounds like the second person should grow up and not care so much what people look like on the outside.

EDIT:
to put this in more of a context, i have 5 facial piercings that i wear 24/7. no matter where im going, or who im going to be around, funerals, church(when i still went), work, school . . . whatever. do you think that just because some one doesnt like the way i look im going to change that based on their opinion? you'd have to be stupid to think that im going to dress or look a part that im not comfortable with(without my piercings). you dont like the way i look, tough ****. beacuse if youre going to be that superficial about things then chances are you arent worth my time fighting with anyway. granted most of my family dosent agree with what i have done, or plan on doing, but its how i feel most comfortable, and altthough they dont agree they still RESPECT me enough to let me do my thing.

You have completely turned around what I said or failed to understand it, and if so then I did a poor job of explaining. If you dress how you want and don't care what others think then good for you, if you do care then don't expect others to change either was my point. I could care less if you have piercings or not, that's your business. I don't have any but I do have several Tattoos and don't care if anyone likes them or not. This whole tread was about a funeral, not what everyone wanted to wear or what rights they had to wear it. I'm sorry that me feeling like people should dress a certain way for a funeral, is in someway a personal attack on you, it wasn't meant that way. As I tried to explain earlier, I see now that there is no dress code for funerals, my bad...I just didn't get it before. As I have said before, I dress like a bum all the time except Sundays, weddings, and Funerals, pretty much. I know that people I don't know look at me when I'm out and think that I'm a piece of low life trash and I'm OK with that, In fact I don't care at all, I too know who I am. I just thought that everyone dressed for a funeral the same way because until the last two as far as I can remember, everyone always has. Does this make more sense? I'm not good with words. I'm not some shallow, hate everyone that's different, a-hole. In fact I much prefer people that don't dress in suits everyday over people who do because I don't have a lot in common with them. I'm more of a "whatever" country boy borderline redneck. I only own two pair of slacks and two suits, because one doesn't fit anymore, and hate to put them on. Obviously I made myself sound like what I'm being called, so it's my fault....Maybe we can just erase this whole thread and everyone's memory, then tomorrow I can just be JCA1 again.
July 29th, 2009, 08:04 PM
Faitmaker

You make sense... Just not everyone agrees with your point of view. And now I'm going to put into my will that I want people to be themselves. They didn't change for me in my life and I'll be damn if I want them to do it when I'm dead. Prop me up in a corner, have a party, celebrate my *life* and put me away. BYOB and dress optional!
July 29th, 2009, 08:38 PM
Pure Kustom

Quote:

Originally Posted by Faitmaker

You make sense... Just not everyone agrees with your point of view. And now I'm going to put into my will that I want people to be themselves. They didn't change for me in my life and I'll be damn if I want them to do it when I'm dead. Prop me up in a corner, have a party, celebrate my *life* and put me away. BYOB and dress optional!

lol. I think It would be great to have an OPEN CARRY funeral.
It would be great. Especially ******* off the anti's even after I am dead!!!! :image035:
July 29th, 2009, 09:26 PM
Faitmaker

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pure Kustom

lol. I think It would be great to have an OPEN CARRY funeral.
It would be great. Especially ******* off the anti's even after I am dead!!!! :image035:

Oh, that is so going in there too... I'm stealing your idea.... Will piss off Mom's family too.. even better.
July 29th, 2009, 09:38 PM
mutumbo

Quote:

Originally Posted by jca1

You have completely turned around what I said or failed to understand it, and if so then I did a poor job of explaining. If you dress how you want and don't care what others think then good for you, if you do care then don't expect others to change either was my point. I could care less if you have piercings or not, that's your business. I don't have any but I do have several Tattoos and don't care if anyone likes them or not. This whole tread was about a funeral, not what everyone wanted to wear or what rights they had to wear it. I'm sorry that me feeling like people should dress a certain way for a funeral, is in someway a personal attack on you, it wasn't meant that way. As I tried to explain earlier, I see now that there is no dress code for funerals, my bad...I just didn't get it before. As I have said before, I dress like a bum all the time except Sundays, weddings, and Funerals, pretty much. I know that people I don't know look at me when I'm out and think that I'm a piece of low life trash and I'm OK with that, In fact I don't care at all, I too know who I am. I just thought that everyone dressed for a funeral the same way because until the last two as far as I can remember, everyone always has. Does this make more sense? I'm not good with words. I'm not some shallow, hate everyone that's different, a-hole. In fact I much prefer people that don't dress in suits everyday over people who do because I don't have a lot in common with them. I'm more of a "whatever" country boy borderline redneck. I only own two pair of slacks and two suits, because one doesn't fit anymore, and hate to put them on. Obviously I made myself sound like what I'm being called, so it's my fault....Maybe we can just erase this whole thread and everyone's memory, then tomorrow I can just be JCA1 again.

no way man, this thread is fun :D. i understand where youre coming from, and dont think you are a stuck up ******* by any means. you raised a good debate, stated your point, defended it to the best of your ability, and as someone else said it hasnt turned into a name-calling, slanderfest. we may not completely agree on the subject, since i also SUCK horridly with words. but either way, its been fun. and youre right i did misunderstand your point, but i didnt take it personally in any way, i only threw the piercing thing out there to kind of clarify my point, ( think it helped, lol).
July 29th, 2009, 09:39 PM
mutumbo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pure Kustom

lol. I think It would be great to have an OPEN CARRY funeral.
It would be great. Especially ******* off the anti's even after I am dead!!!! :image035:

make it a requirement to walk through the door. hahaha

Quote:

Originally Posted by Faitmaker

Oh, that is so going in there too... I'm stealing your idea.... Will piss off Mom's family too.. even better.

gotta get that one last shot in there. lol!
July 30th, 2009, 12:20 AM
Faitmaker

Love my mother.... her sister's are snobbish bitches who are terribly anti and I don't mean guns.. They are anti everything.

My one Catholic aunt told me to go to hell when I pointed out her "christian" hypocrisy and another who told me I wasn't really atheist, I just wanted attention.

****please note that I don't believe all Christian's are hypocrites. She is and proved my point when she said "go to hell". I thanked her and told her that was incredibly Christian of her, which earned me another.
July 30th, 2009, 01:00 AM
Eagleks

I told both my kids..... you try to bury me in some suit... (since I've had to wear them most of my life @ work)... I will come back and haunt you forever. I don't care what they wear.

I've seen it both ways. I don't get hung up on what anyone else is wearing, that's their issue.
July 30th, 2009, 01:41 AM
Pure Kustom

Quote:

Originally Posted by Faitmaker

Oh, that is so going in there too... I'm stealing your idea.... Will piss off Mom's family too.. even better.

lol :rofl:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eagleks

I told both my kids..... you try to bury me in some suit... (since I've had to wear them most of my life @ work)... I will come back and haunt you forever.

I have only wore a suit once in my life when I was a kid because I had no choice. The only other chance I might have to wear one, would be when I either get "married or buried" and again I will have no choice. :rofl:
July 30th, 2009, 01:46 AM
PNUT

Even though I am a non-believer, I do have occasion to go to churches and I most certainly respect the people there and myself enough to dress and behave properly for the occasion. There is a time and a place for everything . Like the proverb says, "When in Rome". It's not about more ,or less ,than good manners . It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that more formal dress is expected at some occasions than others.

No booing the preacher or making faces.

I don't want a funeral with crying and sad faces. I want a party ,and for people to take an extra day off to go fishing !
July 30th, 2009, 09:58 AM
John Wesley

This is my personal rule....

If I have to wear a tie to work (requirement of work) then if I am in a situation where respect is important (funeral, church, etc,) then I will wear clothes equal to or better than what I wear to work. (Meaning at least a tie.)

If people are used to seeing me in a tie (showing respect for my employers) then I want to show AT LEAST that amount of respect in my clothing (and actions) in situations that show respect.

If I can do it for work, I should be able to do it for a good friend that may have passed away or to show respect in Church.

If you saw Gran Torino, I was definitelty with Clint in that early Church scene.

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