Money Bags

This is a discussion on Money Bags within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Subject: Money Bags : Two large Plastic Garbage Bags “Two Large Plastic Garbage Bags” A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two ...

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Thread: Money Bags

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Money Bags

    Subject: Money Bags



    : Two large Plastic Garbage Bags


    “Two Large Plastic Garbage Bags”

    A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic
    garbage bags behind her. One of th e bags rips, and every once in a while
    a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

    Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20
    bills falling out of your bag."

    "Oh really?... Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and
    see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."

    "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that
    money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"

    "Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next
    to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come
    and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the
    fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing
    through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.

    "Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the
    way, what's in the other bag?"

    "Well, you know----, not everybody pays".


    I guess that would be an extreme deterrent
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array gilraen's Avatar
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    ROTFL! (and Ouch)
    "I pledge allegiance to the war banner of the united states of Totalitaria. And to the Republic, which no longer stands, several bankers, who are now god, indivisible, with Bernanke bucks and credit for all."

  4. #3
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    I wonder if she was related to Lorana Bobbit??!!

  5. #4
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    funny. Good joke.

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    Distinguished Member Array morintp's Avatar
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    Good one!
    64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

  7. #6
    Distinguished Member Array pcon's Avatar
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    ouch!
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    memento mori


  8. #7
    Senior Member Array jca1's Avatar
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    Any of you ever hear the song about miss bobbit, it was to the tune of "In the Jungle" it started with, a weenie wack...a weenie whack....a weenie wack...Im gonna look for it, it was funny as crap.

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

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  10. #9
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    Found the lyrics

    Quote Originally Posted by jca1 View Post
    Any of you ever hear the song about miss bobbit, it was to the tune of "In the Jungle" it started with, a weenie wack...a weenie whack....a weenie wack...Im gonna look for it, it was funny as crap.
    The Saga of John Wayne Bobbitt
    ------------------------------
    (sung to the tune 'In the Jungle')

    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

    A weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,
    a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,
    a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,

    In the village, the quiet village, John Bobbit sleeps tonight,
    In the village, the quiet village, Lorrena creeps tonight.
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

    In the bedroom, the quiet bedroom, John Bobbit sleeps tonight,
    In the kitchen, the quiet kitchen, Lorena gets the knife.
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

    In the bedroom, Lorena's bedroom, John pissed off his wife tonight,
    In the bedroom, Lorena's bedroom, she chopped with all her might.
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

    On the roadway, the village roadway, Lorena speeds tonight,
    On the roadway, the village roadway, she tossed his weenie right.
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

    On the roadway, the village roadway, they searched for half the night,
    On the roadway, the village roadway, they found his weinie sliced.
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

    Oh please my doctor, please rush my Doctor and make my weinie right.
    Oh please my doctor, please rush my Doctor and sew it back on tight.
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack
    A weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenie, a weenie whack whack-a-whack

    A weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,
    a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,
    a weenie-whack-a-weenie-whack-a-wheenie-whack,

    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Now we know why It was never picked to be sung on American Idol
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  12. #11
    Member Array boerep's Avatar
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    Name Change

    Quote Originally Posted by archer51 View Post
    I wonder if she was related to Lorana Bobbit??!!
    He changed his name to "Les Johnson"

    Regards
    Rick
    "Fail Your Way To Success"
    "A Goal without a Plan, is Just a Dream"
    "Age and treachery will win over Youth and Enthusiasm"

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