Too old school?

This is a discussion on Too old school? within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Is it too old fashioned to ask your GFs father for his blessing to marry his daughter?...

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Thread: Too old school?

  1. #1
    Member Array IronMike's Avatar
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    Too old school?

    Is it too old fashioned to ask your GFs father for his blessing to marry his daughter?
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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Absolutely not. It's a sign of respect and a measure of the person. With the right people, it'll be taken for what it is.

    It's refreshing to meet another old-fashioned type.
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    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    No way! I agree with ccw9mm. Hardly anyone does that anymore.
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  5. #4
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    I would expect it!!

    I am mother & father to both of my kids.

    And I expect my daughter's boyfriend to come to me and ask for permission to marry my daughter.

    And I know he will some day.

    And when that day comes, I will sit down and talk to him about MY expectations.

    I will also tell him how I expect my future grandchildren to be raised.

    And if he has any problem with my expectations, let's get it out in the open right now.

    Don't you just love expectations?
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  6. #5
    Distinguished Member Array GWRedDragon's Avatar
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    I hold open doors and always say please and thank you. Whenever I bump into someone I say 'sorry' or 'excuse me'.

    I would NEVER ask a parent for permission to marry someone. The girl you want to marry is (presumably) an adult, capable of making her own decisions and responsible for her own actions. She is not property of her father to be sold like a slave, or given away to someone HE thinks is appropriate. Part of love is respecting the person you love, and understanding that they are a person too who makes their own choices.

    'Asking for permission' comes from a time when women were considered to be incapable of making adult decisions, and were expected to have babies, make dinner and stay quiet. I want no part of that.
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  7. #6
    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    I see it as a sign of respect.

    I would assume the young man and woman have already discussed getting married, and the girl said "yes".

    It's not like we're marrying off our daughters to unknown strangers like they do in the mid-east.
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    Thumbs up

    Do it! It will show respect and demonstrate backbone.

    I asked for my in-laws' blessing, but not permission. We were of age.

    Dad and I talked alone for about 45 minutes. I heard his expectations and I expressed my plans to care for his daughter. I expressed our belief that we were family, but a different family; my bride and I would determine our direction. Dad vowed no interference/meddling.

    Almost 25 years later, we maintain a thriving marriage. Dad has passed, but Mom indicated that he was impressed with how I handled things.

  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array GWRedDragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    I see it as a sign of respect.

    I would assume the young man and woman have already discussed getting married, and the girl said "yes".

    It's not like we're marrying off our daughters to unknown strangers like they do in the mid-east.
    I will happily discuss everything with her parents and try to form a nice relationship with them, but I won't be asking for a permission that is not theirs to give. There is only one person capable of giving such permission.
    "Trust in God with hand on sword" -Inscription on my family's coat of arms from medieval England
    ---Carry options: G26/MTAC, PF9/MiniTuck, PPK/Pocket, USP40/OWB---
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  10. #9
    Member Array IronMike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GWRedDragon View Post
    I hold open doors and always say please and thank you. Whenever I bump into someone I say 'sorry' or 'excuse me'.

    I would NEVER ask a parent for permission to marry someone. The girl you want to marry is (presumably) an adult, capable of making her own decisions and responsible for her own actions. She is not property of her father to be sold like a slave, or given away to someone HE thinks is appropriate. Part of love is respecting the person you love, and understanding that they are a person too who makes their own choices.

    'Asking for permission' comes from a time when women were considered to be incapable of making adult decisions, and were expected to have babies, make dinner and stay quiet. I want no part of that.
    I said "blessing" not permission Im not sure I can explain the diffrence but Im a little lightheaded right now anyway
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  11. #10
    VIP Member Array SatCong's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by IronMike View Post
    Is it too old fashioned to ask your GFs father for his blessing to marry his daughter?
    Good for you, shows respect.
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  12. #11
    Distinguished Member Array GWRedDragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by IronMike View Post
    I said "blessing" not permission Im not sure I can explain the diffrence but Im a little lightheaded right now anyway
    Ah, I guess it seems the same to me. I guess I just don't like the implication
    "Trust in God with hand on sword" -Inscription on my family's coat of arms from medieval England
    ---Carry options: G26/MTAC, PF9/MiniTuck, PPK/Pocket, USP40/OWB---
    ---NOTE: I am not an expert. If I ever start acting like a know-it-all, please call me on it immediately. ---

  13. #12
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    You may just make a new friend for life......when he finds out that you want to take her off his hands...

    It's the right thing to do.IMHO
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  14. #13
    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    I would expect it!!

    I am mother & father to both of my kids.

    And I expect my daughter's boyfriend to come to me and ask for permission to marry my daughter.

    And I know he will some day.

    And when that day comes, I will sit down and talk to him about MY expectations.

    Your expectations???? That's a great way to drive a wedge between the three people involved. Once you are not supporting her it's none of your business as long as she is happy.

    I will also tell him how I expect my future grandchildren to be raised.

    Did your in-laws tell you how to raise your children? I'll bet not.

    And if he has any problem with my expectations, let's get it out in the open right now.

    I have seen marital trouble start and end with meddling parents, it puts the couple at odds and forces them to make unfair choices. JMHO

    Don't you just love expectations?

    I'm sure you will disagree with my opinions but they are mine and I believe that the holy union of two people involves only two people.

    There may be times of trouble where a couple needs help from others but to be expecting your goals to become theirs is intolerable.

    As for the question for asking for her hand in marriage, go for it. It is a nice gesture but beyond that, it's your life.
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  15. #14
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    Mike -- did you already propose???
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  16. #15
    Senior Member Array ASSA9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    Mike -- did you already propose???
    +1
    Whats up dude?
    Your scaring me.
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