This is a discussion on Why Men are Happier within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If ...
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat-Boy, Gas-man and Four-eyes.
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 15 of these items.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife..
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
See I knew there was a reason
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
A man just wants a quiet place where he can sleep out of the rain.
A woman wants a mansion to show off to her friends and in which to rear her children. This means the man has to forget about sleeping and go out into the rain and the dark of night in order to earn the money to afford to pay for the house, and barn, and gardener, and pool boy, and...
Glad I'm not the only misogynist on the forum!!
CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.
Copied and put in an email to all 8 sisters, my wife, and several female friends.
Just remember that shot placement is much more important with what you carry than how big a bang you get with each trigger pull.
Texas CHL Instructor
Texas Hunter Education Instructor
I guess these Off Topic & Humor Threads are off on a real roll...
Proverbs 27:12 says: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.”
Certified Glock Armorer
NRA Life Member
That's just funny there..
"Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom" Gen. George Patton
The truth is always the best humor...
"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!".... Sam Houston
NRA Life Member
Every word is true and that is why its so damn funny!
Are all of the ladies ignoring this thread? I came in expecting blood and gore on the 'net!
Will have to check back later.
*WARNING - I may or may not know what I am talking about.
"I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."
"A lot of phonies in the world who portray themselves as "victims". It takes a great deal of discernment to know they are fake."