Why Men are Happier

This is a discussion on Why Men are Happier within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If ...

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Thread: Why Men are Happier

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    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Why Men are Happier

    MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE


    NICKNAMES

    If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
    If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat-Boy, Gas-man and Four-eyes.

    EATING OUT

    When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS

    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 15 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS

    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    FUTURE

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife..

    SUCCESS

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP

    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL

    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING

    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

    See I knew there was a reason
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

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    Senior Member Array Pure Kustom's Avatar
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    Senior Member Array Rob P.'s Avatar
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    HOUSES

    A man just wants a quiet place where he can sleep out of the rain.
    A woman wants a mansion to show off to her friends and in which to rear her children. This means the man has to forget about sleeping and go out into the rain and the dark of night in order to earn the money to afford to pay for the house, and barn, and gardener, and pool boy, and...

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    Glad I'm not the only misogynist on the forum!!
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    VIP Member Array farronwolf's Avatar
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    Copied and put in an email to all 8 sisters, my wife, and several female friends.

    Thanks.
    Just remember that shot placement is much more important with what you carry than how big a bang you get with each trigger pull.
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    I see 6 that I know are true

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    Senior Member Array Pure Kustom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by farronwolf View Post
    copied and put in an email to all 8 sisters, my wife, and several female friends.

    Thanks.
    it was nice knowing you!!!

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    Funny...
    I guess these Off Topic & Humor Threads are off on a real roll...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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    Senior Member Array 1911PKR's Avatar
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    That's just funny there..
    "Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom" Gen. George Patton

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    The truth is always the best humor...
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    Every word is true and that is why its so damn funny!

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    Are all of the ladies ignoring this thread? I came in expecting blood and gore on the 'net!

    Will have to check back later.

    Hehe!
    "Mind own business"
    "Always cut cards"

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    Quote Originally Posted by RoadRunner71 View Post
    Are all of the ladies ignoring this thread? I came in expecting blood and gore on the 'net!

    Will have to check back later.

    Hehe!
    Patti and Bunny are probably PM'ing each other working on a conspiracy to get back at us!!
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    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnyBunny View Post
    Patti and Bunny are probably PM'ing each other working on a conspiracy to get back at us!!
    I'm busy looking up the definition of misogynist.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

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