To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me

This is a discussion on To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Got this in an email today. Found it rather humorous. Now don't go off on how this or that is wrong I'm sure it's just ...

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Thread: To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me

  1. #1
    Member Array tougeep3's Avatar
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    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me

    Got this in an email today. Found it rather humorous. Now don't go off on how this or that is wrong I'm sure it's just made up. Any way enjoy..

    Was Posted to Craig's List Personals:
    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 07-27-09, 1:43 AM EST.

    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

    I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it? I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

    After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Gos, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

    Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

    In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

    Have a good day!
    Thoughtfully yours, Alex

    P.S. Remember this motto. An armed society makes for a more civil society!


  2. #2
    Member Array J Bowen's Avatar
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    nice!

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    "To believe that social reforms can eradicate evil altogether is to forget that evil is a protean creature, forever assuming a new shape when deprived of an old one." - SAT

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    Member Array tougeep3's Avatar
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    This it the problem with the vbulletin search engine. I searched the O/T & humor forum for "craigslist" and got 0 results. sorry for the repost..

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    Member Array jsnole's Avatar
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    No problem, i have read it before as well. Its still good to read it all over again!
    Jamie

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    I had not seen it before and had a good laugh ... thanks for posting !!!
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    The second rule: "Bring enough gun"

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  7. #7
    Distinguished Member Array Tally XD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tougeep3 View Post
    This it the problem with the vbulletin search engine. I searched the O/T & humor forum for "craigslist" and got 0 results. sorry for the repost..
    This is not a flame and is not meant to irritate you any at all, but the problem is not with the search feature but with the person who is doing the search.

    If you had put the exact subject line of your post in the search, instead of "craigslist" you would have gotten the result you needed. People really don't understand the search criteria and usually use the wrong keywords.

    That search I used yielded the following results for me:

    http://www.defensivecarry.com/vbulle...d-mugging.html

    http://www.defensivecarry.com/vbulle...-me-laugh.html

    http://www.defensivecarry.com/vbulle...l-grinnin.html
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  8. #8
    Member Array tougeep3's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tally XD View Post
    This is not a flame and is not meant to irritate you any at all, but the problem is not with the search feature but with the person who is doing the search.

    If you had put the exact subject line of your post in the search, instead of "craigslist" you would have gotten the result you needed. People really don't understand the search criteria and usually use the wrong keywords.

    That search I used yielded the following results for me:

    http://www.defensivecarry.com/vbulle...d-mugging.html

    http://www.defensivecarry.com/vbulle...-me-laugh.html

    http://www.defensivecarry.com/vbulle...l-grinnin.html
    I entered " To The Guy Who Tried To Mug me" and this was my result:

    1. Sorry - no matches. Please try some different terms.
    The following words are either very common, too long, or too short and were not included in your search : To, the, Who, Tried, to, Me

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array PointnClick's Avatar
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    The "Off-topic" forum is not searchable... I asked Bumper about this a couple weeks ago... all the threads Tougeep3 posted are not in the "Off-topic" forum...
    "Who is to say that I am not an instrument of karma? Indeed, who is to say that I am not the very hand of God himself, dispatched by the Almighty to smite the Philistines and hypocrites, to lay low the dishonest and corrupt, and to bust the jawbone of some jackass that so desperately deserves it?"

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array Thanis's Avatar
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    My father's childhood friend had a similar situation my father always talks about. The friend was a tough guy / low level collector. He was using the restroom at a Tiger's game when someone put a gun to his back and asked for his wallet at the urinal. Without zipping, tough guy flips around and quickly knocks the guy silly while taking the pistol. He then robs the robber.

    The story gained a little fame because the robber called the police to complain. What was untold is that the police knew (were even childhood friends) with the tough guy. The news tried to make it into a story. They found the robber's firearm and wallet (I think in a mailbox) a few days later. The robber was charged for something. The police never went after the tough guy (and the news made a story or two about it).

    I imagine that association may look poorly on my father. My father is a straight laced guy (other than a life long fight with tobacco). He was a firefighter, he had police friends, auto worker friends, etc. Even the police had friends who's occupation was related to the mob (often related to loan sharking / betting / horse racing). As long as no one asked, and there was no improper actions, it is what it is. I've heard of times the line was crossed, like a police officer who did not pay of his debts and a conected man who talk once to often about what they did during the day.

    Back in the 50s / 60s, things were not like they are now. My understanding is that their friends were not in the mob per say, nor were they the contract killers, etc, but their friends might associate with people the firemen and police did not.
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  11. #11
    Member Array Faitmaker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PointnClick View Post
    The "Off-topic" forum is not searchable... I asked Bumper about this a couple weeks ago... all the threads Tougeep3 posted are not in the "Off-topic" forum...
    It was Tally that posted the threads, but... umm... yea..
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  12. #12
    Senior Member Array PointnClick's Avatar
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    Oooops... my bad...
    "Who is to say that I am not an instrument of karma? Indeed, who is to say that I am not the very hand of God himself, dispatched by the Almighty to smite the Philistines and hypocrites, to lay low the dishonest and corrupt, and to bust the jawbone of some jackass that so desperately deserves it?"

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