Abbott and Costello

Abbott and Costello

This is a discussion on Abbott and Costello within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Abbott and Costelo Today This is the updated version of their “Who’s on First?” skit and how it might play out today…… I do not ...

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Thread: Abbott and Costello

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Abbott and Costello

    Abbott and Costelo Today

    This is the updated version of their “Who’s on First?” skit and how it might play out today…… I do not know who the author is: but it is thought provoking.

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT


    ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you my name’s Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office!

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window’s.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The word you get when you click the blue “W”.

    COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)

    ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .


  2. #2
    Member Array UnklFungus's Avatar
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    OMG, I bet a version of that has already happened in real life!
    “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”

    Patrick Henry
    Quote Originally Posted by UnklFungus
    If it is ok to disarm legal citizens to reduce crime, then doesn't it stand to disband the military to prevent war?

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    Distinguished Member Array TerriLi's Avatar
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    .....thank you for making me relive the day I quit tech support.
    I know not what this "overkill" means.

    Honing the knives, Cleaning the longguns, Stocking up ammo.

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    Senior Member Array boscobeans's Avatar
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    Always remember, "The more dough you have the more you Knead it." LOL

    Funny post. Thanks

    bosco

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    That was great!

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’
    That was always my favorite part of the Windows confusion. Wonder who thought that gem of human factors up!?!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
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    You've heard it recommended that one should hire a shooting instructor rather than try to teach one's wife. I have found that this applies to computers as well - this dialog is too close to some that we've had.

    And the truth is, you can't really fault poor Costello (or my wife): they're working from their training base. If they don't have the vocabulary or basic educational foundation in a particular discipline, it is the responsibility of the teacher to give them Computers 1A instead of jumping to the graduate seminars. And for my wife, I would be delighted to provide the Computers 1A course, or 1A level courses on any of a zillion other technical topics... but I keep forgetting to even think of the need to do so. I do an Abbott on her, and that kinda ends the session.

    May the Lord grant us grace to remember the audience, and to be patient and kind. Yes, we ARE very impressive in our vast knowledge of technical things. You know it, I know it. Thus we don't need to display it for the wife until she's able to truly appreciate it.

    Can you tell I've thought about this? Sigh...
    Recently updated website: http://www.damagedphotorepair.com

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    Steven
    The "news media" has ceased being the watch dog of the people and has become the apologist for an irresponsible government.

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    VIP Member Array SatCong's Avatar
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    Still make me laugh.
    NRA PATRON LIFE
    BROWN WATER NAVY

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array boscobeans's Avatar
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    One of the best from the old TV show..

    YouTube - Abbott and Costello - Loafing

    bosco

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    VIP Member Array automatic slim's Avatar
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    I thought this was going to be a post about the current administration.
    "First gallant South Carolina nobly made the stand."
    Edge of Darkness

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