NEED HELP with a Bully situation please.
This is a discussion on NEED HELP with a Bully situation please. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Good for little H! He did what he was taught and defended himself. His mommy,Bunny, should file a report without hesitation (guns are being talked ...
September 10th, 2009 11:08 PM
Good for little H! He did what he was taught and defended himself. His mommy,Bunny, should file a report without hesitation (guns are being talked about here). Little H SHOULD be taught to act in a responsible but decisive manner...which may mean, ....not lettin' someone else throw the first punch. Bunny wouldn't hesitate to draw FIRST if she felt threatened.
Just my 2 pennies.
"Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom" Gen. George Patton
September 10th, 2009 11:10 PM
I just want to pipe in that I think the advice of JBSis great, as is the rest of the folks piping in.
Whomever said the part about the Marine was great advice. If you know of any Marines, I think that would be an excellent idea. Heck, maybe even talk to a recruiter, he/she may be willing to help out and put the Corps in a great light.
I went through something similar to this, but I can't remember much as far as advising might go.
“The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”
Originally Posted by UnklFungus
September 10th, 2009 11:25 PM
I would follow up with a report to the PD. THEY are the ones charged with keeping the peace not you, your son, or the school. After all, the brat did threaten to have someone kill your son. VERY bad thing to do even for a 10 year old. The brat needs someone to tell him that death threats are always considered serious and not tolerated.
I would talk to bunny Jr and BE SURE that he understands that you are displeased with him having to fight. Even though he was defending himself, it is still wrong to engage in violence unless there is no other alternative. In this case there were things he should have done. And, more importantly to me, kids who win fights tend to start believing that they are invincible and "right" in all things. (might makes right). Jr needs to be absolutely clear on the "fighting is wrong unless it is for defense only and only for so long as is necessary" thing. You do not want to create a kid who thinks that he can win any dispute with violence out of this situation.
If Jr gets suspended or expelled so be it. It is out of your control once the school principal was involved. However, keep in mind that Jr reported the brat was stealing and was retaliated against for that reason. This is NOT an ordinary "fight" it is harassment for reporting the crime and that should be a complete defense against suspension/expulsion.
September 10th, 2009 11:29 PM
We live in a smaller town.
Sixto, my hesitation in contacting the PD was just that. I don't want to be one of "those" folks and I understand that the police have better things to focus on than two 10 year old boys.
The reason I am considering it is because 1) two friends who are LEO told me this would be a good idea so that I could get that there is a get the kid threatening my son with a gun (verbally, he didn't actually wave a gun around on the bus. YET.) on record. Not just with the school. Then if there is an instance where it escalates, we have it already that he threatened my son, there is a pattern here, and so 2) if my son ends up giving the kid a bloody nose in defense eventually, that MY son isn't expelled for fighting.
But I haven't done anything yet other than talk to the teacher and the Principal at the PTA meeting tonight (note, the bully and his mom were both no-shows at PTA night) so that they are aware of the situation and can keep an eye on BOTH BOYS. 3) If the bully didn't say he was bringing his siblings gun to my house to shoot my son, I wouldn't consider calling the police. But he did, so I'm thinking about it.
Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.
Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
NRA Member & Pistol Instructorwww.vanguardnc.com
September 10th, 2009 11:30 PM
Go to the school. They're fully responsible for student behavior on the bus. Present them with the option of the school issuing harsh punishment or you'll press assault charges.
Don't make it an empty threat either...if you do, it will continue or get worse. After all, it could be your child that acts out in defense/retaliation when the next attempt or threat presents itself. Then YOU'RE the bad parent because you didn't do anything.
Document, document, document.
September 10th, 2009 11:41 PM
Unfortunately with all the crazy school violence that has taken place in the last decade or so, threats like those take on a whole new level of attention by school administrators and the police as well. Were it me, I would call the mother and get a feel for her stability and how she perceives the events. She may not have any idea how serious this has gotten. The kid is 10 years old and has lost his dad and his older siblings are away in a (most likely) dangerous environment; if you could resolve this without further escalating, then it would probably be best for that child's overall well being. That said, if you feel that the mother isn't on board with getting things under control, or if you even get the remote feeling that she isn't in control of her child, then I would certainly recommend getting the police involved.
September 10th, 2009 11:50 PM
Why? Why get the police involved? I havent heard a good reason yet, other than because we don't know what else to do.
Does the school have an SRO? If so, make them aware. They should know. Other than that, its a parental and school issue. There is no prosecutable crime there, and its a waste of time. No street cop is going to waste ink and paper on this.
Squawk all you want to the school and other parent. Do your parental duty.
"Just blame Sixto"
I reserve the right to make fun, point and laugh etc.
September 11th, 2009 12:07 AM
Sixto, no, we have no SRO anymore. They cut the budget and SROs were the first to go.
The reason I was advised was to get it all documented. The kid lives in our neighborhood and threatened to shoot my son. He threatened to come to our house to do it. (Of course, THAT part I wasn't told about until after I talked to the Principal today.)
Ok, so here's what I did. We are friends with the local PD captain. I emailed him (not at work) and gave him a brief what's what and asked him (as a friend and parent with a kid the same age) whether he thought it was dumb/wasteful/needless/hysterical to call and want to make the report, or if it was a valid idea.
Will wait to see what he says. And will follow up ASAP with the Principal. She was only just informed at 5:30pm tonight, so there isn't much she could do today anyhow. But we'll see what happens tomorrow between the boys and then on Monday. By then, she should have had time to talk to the kids, or the other mom, or something. I'm not going to squawk at the other mom just yet. Sounds to me like she's got enough on her plate with her husband's death and two kids in the military.
Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.
Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
NRA Member & Pistol Instructorwww.vanguardnc.com
September 11th, 2009 12:41 AM
H needs to beat the S out of D, Then D will learn. Then H's mom needs to turn into a B and not the B for Bunny we all know. But the evil one and go meet D's mom. Then D and DM will both see the light.
Or you can have them both call Gunny Bunny and he could educate them, On not messing with Bunny or her kin.
September 11th, 2009 12:42 AM
Quit thinking "the school" is going to resolve the issue. I hope you are kidding. Plus , if they come from their house to your house, that is no longer a school issue.
Notify Police of the threat with the gun, and let Police talk to "D's " parents. Get it documented. Keep an eye on "D".... you never know what anyone will do, despite their age. Sounds like "D" might need a little Protective Service intervention and maybe some court ordered counseling.
I would also demand that "D" moved to a class at school for problem children or out of "H"'s class and "D" should have been kicked off the bus... and parents realize when their kid starts crap... they get to drive them to school from now on.
In my day..... about 5 kids would have a talk with "D" ... and after the beating, he would realize not to start anything again.
September 11th, 2009 12:43 AM
I would have to say I would be aggressive in this situation. I would make sure the school pull's in the parent and kid and talks to them, make sure they know the police will be called next time. We had a situation about 5 years ago where a kid was picking on another in our neighborhood. It continued through the day, and when all the kids get home from school they all go out to play. All the kids on the street are out playing basketball, the the two kids meet again. They argue and fight. Kid "A" runs a few houses down to his house, gets a shotgun, chases kid "B" gets a few yards away and shoots him in the hip. Kid "B" falls to the ground, kid "A" walks up to kid "B" and shoots him in the chest killing him. They were 14 years old. Kid "A" spent 4 years in juvi and released when he turned 18. Don't let things escalate.
"You cannot invade mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind each blade of grass." - Admiral Yamamoto
September 11th, 2009 01:08 AM
Bunny, I'm sorry to hear that your son has been bullied for doing the right thing, and now you're having to figure out how to handle the situation. The bully's father dying is undoubtedly a major life tragedy for him, but do not accept that as an excuse for this bully's behavior. He's not the victim in this incident, your son is.
Here's why I feel sorry for you and your son... You shouldn't have to be on the internet asking a bunch of well-intended people but (mostly) strangers how to handle this situation. Boys need strong fathers. What's your husband doing about this matter? I think it's very telling that your son's first thought is that his mom will defend him. Tell your husband that "he" needs to take the lead on setting things straight, and that your son will be observing his words and actions.
September 11th, 2009 01:27 AM
Most definately call the police. When anyone now days threatens to shoot people at school we certainly take it seriously. Then tell the powers that be at the school that a police report was taken and that a school counselor should be set up to help "D" with his anger and maybe the lack of a father being around. Advise "H" to be on his best SA as this might lead to something bigger or it could be taken care of with the other things that i'v mentioned. But do not delay in reporting the threats to the police as in the world we live the consequences are all to great when something happens.
2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
September 11th, 2009 03:02 AM
Cops have it rough on a variety of fronts. In this case, I'm afraid I would suggest you add it to their workload. That sounded like a stupid kid statement, but it was still a threat involving firearms. Tell the cop you don't expect any arrest-and-prosecution, but you would appreciate him/her having a chat with the mom and the kid. Or at least you want them to file the paperwork so it can be dredged up later if need be.
The school is able to move the thief/aggressor here into a different class - demand it! It won't cost the school a cent, and will give the aggressor here the idea that there are consequences. If they can provide some sort of counseling that would be great... but don't hold your breath. Pray for them - they're stuck trying to be parents and they're just not qualified.
Consider homeschooling, too, though pulling him out at this point might look like a run-and-hide, unfortunately. [Rant on] The public school system invites bullying, and provides a disgusting moral environment. I respect the hard-working teachers (most work their backsides off), for they are doing their darndest to help. And some kids DO turn out OK - but mostly it is in spite of rather than because of the education system. The public school structure itself is fatally flawed: *parents* have the responsibility to educate their kids. [Rant off] Speaking as a former public school teacher, you certainly have the qualifications to be able to give him an excellent education - PM me if you wish (you or anyone else who reads this). We homeschooled our daughter, and she is doing well in a rigorous college now.
And make him learn Krav Maga and give him firearms training for PE - that's what we did.
September 11th, 2009 04:23 AM
If I were you, I would strongly advise "Heavenly Angel" to keep his mouth shut about your firearms and qualifications.
Originally Posted by Bunny
It's not good for that kind of personal information to be circulating around school and the neighborhood.
Make a police report regarding "Devil Bully". After Columbine, Jonesboro, Paducah, Virginia Tech etc.---threats involving firearms are not to be taken lightly.
"I've run across shooting after shooting where the defender shot a violent aggressor with a .380 and did little to immediately stop his depredations. A good hollow point load in 9mm or .38 Special will, historically, end lethal assaults more quickly."
~ Massad Ayoob
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