NEED HELP with a Bully situation please.
This is a discussion on NEED HELP with a Bully situation please. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Having suffered from bullying all through school, I can sympathize with H. Bunny, I might suggest researching and enrolling him in a martial art/ self-defense ...
September 11th, 2009 06:42 AM
Having suffered from bullying all through school, I can sympathize with H. Bunny, I might suggest researching and enrolling him in a martial art/ self-defense classes. I wish my parents would have. This world can be very evil at times and this may be H's first experience with it, but it won't be his last. We need to equip our children to handle bullies, we do it for ourselves, (within the bounds of reason)why not our children? I plan to teach my children to not start anything, but if someone else does and you can't reason it out or run, then you finish what they start. Bunny, keep good notes on this situation, which it seems you are doing, just in case. I hope you and your family see an end to this nonsense very soon. You are in my prayers.
September 11th, 2009 07:25 AM
Thanks all who have responded here and via PMs so far. I'm waiting to hear back from the Captain. He has a child the same age, and he knows our family, so if anyone can really put the police involvement in perspective, I trust that he can.
My son has been DRILLED about not mentioning the following, if he has to sit on his hands and bite his tongue not to do it: guns, ammo, the NRA, My Job as an instructor, weapons, the range, knives, killing, doing harm, and making any sort of threats. PERIOD.
We'll see what happens this weekend. H is grounded anyhow so he won't be outside playing, he'll be inside, reading and cleaning. It had nothing to do with this though. I am hoping that the weekend apart will give the boys time to cool off. School started 2 1/2 weeks ago, and they were friends in class up until Tuesday. However, I will be in the principal's office first thing Monday morning to follow up with her and she how she "handled it."
HBC -- my husband is working a night schedule at the moment, all this happened while he was asleep. I told him after he got up and he's pretty upset. H thinks mom will defend him because dad isn't into firearms, and mom is the one who carries and who is active with his school.
We have had him in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes for 2 years, he knows what to do once he is on the ground. However, I just enlisted a friend that he really looks up to, to teach him how to fight/defend himself. They start Monday.
I appreciate all the advice :) Will keep you posted.
Thank goodness the weekend is here.
Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.
Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
NRA Member & Pistol Instructorwww.vanguardnc.com
September 11th, 2009 07:27 AM
EOD - Initial success or total failure
September 11th, 2009 07:42 AM
I always wonder what the effects would be on a bully if a Black van pulls up and 2 hooded big men jump out and tell the kid that he better be nice.(In not so nice words) Jump back in and take off?
September 11th, 2009 08:14 AM
Eh, I don't have a black van, how about a big black Bronco with dark tinted windows???:
Originally Posted by HITCH KING
Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.
September 11th, 2009 08:29 AM
I had to deal with bullying growing up also, and my Dad wouldn't let me take any martial arts class either, he was afraid I would hurt someone. Standing up for m,y self is something my Dad always said to do, but to try and walk away first. This finally stopped after I did something a little crazy. I was leaning back in a chair in shop class one morning (sixth or seventh grade I think) a bigger kid walked behind me and pulled the chair back, my head hit a concrete block wall really hard. I picked up the chair and slamed him in the face (no way am I suggesting H do this) I acted bfore I thought, this was one of the last few times I was messed with by anyone. Unfortunaltely the threat of using a gun these days can't be ignored, so as others have stated keep tabs on this ked, talk with his Mom, and contact the police as a last resort.
September 11th, 2009 10:11 AM
From a retired LEO. DO NOT contact the other parent. They could accuse you of anything, making threats, etc. Do call the police and make a report, Im my experience school personnel are wothless for anything except demanding another raise.
Also keep the pressure on the school authorities to do their job. Where were they when all this was happening? Since the NEA zealots running our schools nowadays are such big time liberals, you might tell them that the "big gay girl" stuff sure sounds like a hate crime.
"First gallant South Carolina nobly made the stand."
Edge of Darkness
September 11th, 2009 10:13 AM
While I understand the whole not wanting to be one of those people contacting the police over every little thing, I think this is a little different. When I first read the situation I just say a typical school bully thing that just happens. Then I read the part about the gun. At 10 years old, he should know better and I don't think any threat involving weapons from someone his age is just typically bully stuff. Like others and you have said, not so much for arrest or anything, just documentation and perhaps a little friendly chat between D and a LEO.
Remember, they work for you.
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September 11th, 2009 10:17 AM
At this point, D crossed the line. Such a threat, whether carried through on or not, is beyond the school administration. You need to contact the police.
Originally Posted by Bunny
He didn't show up. Who knows why, or if he'll choose to make good on the threat at another time?
This isn't bullying anymore.
September 11th, 2009 10:23 AM
Originally Posted by Random
You can yank and pull and tug until it's unrecognizable, but in the end you can't get around this point: actual threats about actual criminal actions with deadly weapons need to be taken seriously.
I would not hesitate to call the police. When one makes threats with a weapon, it's not play time any more. The bully needs to learn how the real world works.
Why? If this 5th grade putz doesn't find out the consequences of such threats, he's entirely likely to (at some point) follow through with his chest pounding. Your child is going to be damaged. Others might become targets of this young tough's aggressions.
Warning: the murderer at Springfield, OR, was not much older than this young wannabe-thug. Caution is due.
The police department is not your personal secretary service
Secretaries. Hm. If your adult neighbor was to make such threats, it's absolutely justified to call the "secretaries." But when the age changes, despite being perfectly capable of understanding the violence of the threat, all of a sudden a person is a wayward crybaby who is calling up the secretarial service? Playground bullying is one thing. Actual threat of the use of firearms to kill? Something different.
If your school's administrator is failing to go after this one, then stop screwing around. Contact police directly and get them involved. This isn't playground bullying, any longer.
In the meantime, your child has no need to go through punishing attacks. Does he know about good, solid kicks to the knee, or how quickly ripping out an eyeball stops a fight? Nobody needs take a physical beating. If the young tough can't get that through his head, let him get it through some other part of his body.
September 11th, 2009 10:24 AM
I would have totally agreed, up until the point he made a specific threat of violence with a firearm.
Originally Posted by SIXTO
September 11th, 2009 11:21 AM
You and your darling angel's safety are the only concerns you should have. This may be the only 'indicator' anyone gets. Make a report ASAP. Threats need to be taken seriously. That kid needs to be removed.
"Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18
Guns Save Lives. Paramedics Save Lives. But...
Paramedics With Guns Scare People!
September 11th, 2009 11:32 AM
Since a threat of violence was made, I'd call the police and let them handle it. You have no way of knowing if he has the capability or intent to follow through on his threat.
Not trying to justify D's behavior, but having lost a parent recently (1-2 years ago) he may still be having anger issues with that. It sounds like he may need counseling to help cope with those issues. You may be doing him and the rest of the community a greater service by reporting it. If it is an anger issue, letting it go unchecked can lead to more serious problems in the future.
September 11th, 2009 11:52 AM
Simple solution, Bunny:
Tell H to stand up to D; it may be painful, and H may well end up losing, but he WILL gain D's respect forever. While it is prudent nowadays to report threats of violence to the Police, if the kids gets physical with your son, tell your kid to reply in kind, that is the only way to deal with a bully. A bully has an inferiority complex and feels the need to do the things they do to satisfy their need to feel relevant. They will keep on doing this until someone stands up to them. When they learn the hard way that trying to impose your abusive will on another is a costly (and painful) experience, they will stop doing it.
When I was a kid, the first thing my Father did when A bully was picking on me and following me home was tell me to face him like a man; then he closed the door. We fought, I lost.....
We ended up best friends to this day.....
That may or may not be the best solution for your son, but teaching him to stand his ground will pay immeasurable dividends in self-esteem for the rest of his life.
"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined". - Patrick Henry
September 11th, 2009 11:53 AM
Ok, I just got off the phone with the Captain.
First he asked "H fought back and that didn't end it?"
I explained no, that escalated it.
He said yes, because the kid threatened to use a gun, to come in and definitely make a report. He said to bring H down to the station and file an "MI" ?? Miscellaneous Incident or something. Anyhow, just to document and stuff, and mention who we spoke to at the school, etc. He also said to talk to the principal again about moving D out of class because the school should have the power to do that.
And like you suggested, NOT to talk to the mother, because "you have no idea what you may be dealing with there."
So there you have it. We'll be filing a report after H gets home from school this afternoon. Hopefully that will put the fear of God into the bully. AND his mom. And hopefully that will end this.
My friend is still going to teach Hunter how to fight on Monday though, just in case. And it's a skill every boy should have, but never need to use. (Similar to us carrying here, I guess.)
Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.
Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
NRA Member & Pistol Instructorwww.vanguardnc.com
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