NEED HELP with a Bully situation please. - Page 4

NEED HELP with a Bully situation please.

This is a discussion on NEED HELP with a Bully situation please. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Originally Posted by edr9x23super Simple solution, Bunny: Tell H to stand up to D; it may be painful, and H may well end up losing, ...

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Thread: NEED HELP with a Bully situation please.

  1. #46
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by edr9x23super View Post
    Simple solution, Bunny:

    Tell H to stand up to D; it may be painful, and H may well end up losing, but he WILL gain D's respect forever. While it is prudent nowadays to report threats of violence to the Police, if the kids gets physical with your son, tell your kid to reply in kind, that is the only way to deal with a bully. A bully has an inferiority complex and feels the need to do the things they do to satisfy their need to feel relevant. They will keep on doing this until someone stands up to them. When they learn the hard way that trying to impose your abusive will on another is a costly (and painful) experience, they will stop doing it.

    When I was a kid, the first thing my Father did when A bully was picking on me and following me home was tell me to face him like a man; then he closed the door. We fought, I lost.....

    We ended up best friends to this day.....

    That may or may not be the best solution for your son, but teaching him to stand his ground will pay immeasurable dividends in self-esteem for the rest of his life.
    He did. That's when the other kid threatened to get the gun and shoot him. THAT'S when I went and talked to the principal.
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


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  2. #47
    Senior Member Array BamaSteve's Avatar
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    Bunny,

    Glad the local PD are responsive and understanding for this situation. The best thing is you have documentation in case something arises in the future (hopefully it doesn't).
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  3. #48
    VIP Member Array edr9x23super's Avatar
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    Sorry, Bunny I got my Hs and Ds confused; good for your son, though. he did the right thing, and time will bear this out. I would definitely make my feelings known to the kids' parent as well, and get that little miscreant into some therapy....
    "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined". - Patrick Henry

  4. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    My friend is still going to teach Hunter how to fight on Monday though, just in case. And it's a skill every boy should have, but never need to use. (Similar to us carrying here, I guess.)


    Also, taking some formal Martial Arts classes can be very good for self-discipline, self-esteem, self-reliance, etc, etc,

    Quote Originally Posted by BamaSteve View Post
    Bunny,

    Glad the local PD are responsive and understanding for this situation. The best thing is you have documentation in case something arises in the future (hopefully it doesn't).


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  5. #50
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    My turn,Bunny when I was in school some of the bigger guys picked on me, I survived so will H.
    It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
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  6. #51
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    Had this very similar situation in a local school here...I am a Juvenile/Adult Probation officer. The courts and LE have swiftly intervened since the child threatened a gun. Do not stop until somebody listens.
    Friends don't let friends be MALL NINJAS.


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  7. #52
    Distinguished Member Array Agave's Avatar
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    In middle school, a bigger and older kid picked on me. When it got physical, I beat him severely with a tuba mouthpiece. I got suspended. So did he. It was worth it.
    The preceding post may contain sarcasm; it's just better that way. However, it is still intended with construction and with the Love of my L-rd Y'shua.

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  8. #53
    Senior Member Array Daddy Warcrimes's Avatar
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    Martial arts are generally a good idea, but please be wary of the McDojos. If the only thing in town is the ATA, you might as well enroll him in little league.

    There is unfortunately no good solution to this. If H fights back, he gets in trouble with the administration. If D is administratively punished, he will blame H. If you restrict H's reaction, and do nothing about D, D will continue to be a bully and H will become frustrated.

    There's a couple philosophies to the use of force. The first and more traditional is an overwhelming employment of violence in order to render the threat incapable. This is more or less what you see on this board most of the time; shoot to eliminate the threat. The amount of skill required for this method is secondary to the amount of will. Outside of those with years of martial experience, the winner is almost invariably the guy who wants it more.

    Commitment can be learned, but it can't be taught.

    The second philosophy is more often used by law enforcement or practitioners of Aikido. Rather than make the opponent unable to fight, make him unwilling to fight. The goal is to eliminate the threat, while avoiding damage for everyone (including the attacker). This method requires a great deal of skill (more than the opponent). Given that the threat is current, I would not recommend this at all.

    When H slapped D's hand away, he made an attempt at method #2 without the proper skill or equipment. Had he on the other hand, secured D by the collar and taken a bite out of the fleshy portion of his face, the bully would have never been a problem again (but of course, dire consequences from the school, law, and tort).

    In the wise words of Mr. Miyagi, "Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no." You karate do "guess so," [squish] just like grape."
    "and suddenly I can not hold back my sword hand's anger"

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  9. #54
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    Ok, well he just got home.

    They both met with an admin at the school today, First separately, then together. Apparently nobody is getting suspended and the kid doesn't actually have access to a firearm, he was all talk. (Fortunately for everyone, they didn't ask MY kid, as there are 2 firearms at home at the moment, and he goes shooting about once every week or two, so there's your "access.") They shook hands and made up. Nobody is moving classes and nobody said anything to the bus driver.

    *I* was supposed to get a phone call about all of this, but as of right now, it still hasn't happened.

    H is freaking out. Now that all is supposedly resolved, he doesn't want to file a report. So I emailed the Captain again. It's all documented on email at this point. IF THIS HAPPENS AGAIN, we will go full-throttle any legal way we can. That means filing the report, calling DSS or whatever, and squawking at everyone from the Superintendent to the janitor.

    I can't say I'm thoroughly satisfied, but I know both boys will have a very close eye kept on them now, and the seem to have had the severity of bullying/making threats/weapons talk impressed upon them both. They are scared.

    So for now, I guess we're waiting and watching, with everyone in charge aware and watching as well.




    Now here's the part that pissed me off royally:
    after all was said and done and the boys supposedly made up, the administrator tells my son if someone hits you and you hit them back, that is NOT SELF-DEFENSE. Self defense is RUNNING AWAY.
    Oh, really? So when someone is holding you down and beating you and you can't run away, what then?
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


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  10. #55
    Senior Member Array 2ndsupporter's Avatar
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    "Now here's the part that pissed me off royally:
    after all was said and done and the boys supposedly made up, the administrator tells my son if someone hits you and you hit them back, that is NOT SELF-DEFENSE. Self defense is RUNNING AWAY.
    Oh, really? So when someone is holding you down and beating you and you can't run away, what then?"


    Bunny, if it was me, I would talk to that Admin. and give her a lesson on what self defense is. It isn't right for them to teach anything that is simply not true!
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  11. #56
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    @ the OP: Calling the PD and filing a report is absolutely the right thing to do. Kids can NOT threaten murder and get away with it.

    As to the recent developments, the administrator needs to be spoken with.

  12. #57
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    Bunny,

    Glad things are sorted out for at least the time being. Even though you may not have an official report, like you said you have email as documentation that this was through some channels.

    I wouldn't worry about what the admin. says. They are either 1.) never going to be convinced otherwise or 2.) just saying that to cover their butts. Either way I'd just make sure you're son understands what YOU see as self defense.
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  13. #58
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    OK, I can’t keep the alphabet straight but it is definitely getting out of hand. Where is the bus driver? They usually have video on these buses now-a-days. A threat with a gun is being made. It has to be reported. That kid, (don’t know what letter he is), is in a heap of trouble. It is too bad neighbors can’t handle these problems between themselves like we use to when I was young but it is a different world. Today our kids are being taught to run like cowards. In a few generations we will have a standing army that turns tail and runs at the first sign of trouble. (Kind of like the French.)
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  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2ndsupporter View Post
    "Now here's the part that pissed me off royally:
    after all was said and done and the boys supposedly made up, the administrator tells my son if someone hits you and you hit them back, that is NOT SELF-DEFENSE. Self defense is RUNNING AWAY.
    Oh, really? So when someone is holding you down and beating you and you can't run away, what then?"


    Bunny, if it was me, I would talk to that Admin. and give her a lesson on what self defense is. It isn't right for them to teach anything that is simply not true!
    Some people's idea od SD is out there. Just know that if D starts again, make sure your kid knows to defend himself any way he can. The lawyers will have a field day with the other kid, the other kids mom, and the school for allowing a know agressor to further act. And there won't be a thing they can do to you or yours once a suit is filled. But, I would look into other school options, including home schooling, cause if it does happen (which is unlikely), the school would probably expell them both until the courts straighten it out.
    I still think there will be no further problems from that kid and they will probably get along fine, especially since D knows yours won't sit there and take it.
    And the school shoulda called you.
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  15. #60
    Senior Member Array xsigma40cal's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that such a bright young kid such as your son is going through this. I had a number of bullies myself growing up and that all eventually came to an end as they either grew up or I mustered the kibbles-n-bits to go Chuck Norris on them.
    I wouldnt condone your son feeding into this, though I think you owe it to him to teach him how to defend himself. Definately follow up with the principle and if nothing happens on that end, then I'd march with little H in tow to the little misfits house and have a conference with his mom.
    Take pictures of his injuries and show them to the mom so it dispells any sort denial on D's part. Be nice, cordial, but firm and emphasize that if it continues, police reports will be filed and lawsuits will be initiated should any serious injury result from further assaults.
    I hope this finds you well and good luck with this matter.

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