New Fall Classes

New Fall Classes

This is a discussion on New Fall Classes within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Fall Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Thursday September 17, 2009 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY ...

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Thread: New Fall Classes

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    New Fall Classes

    Fall Classes for Women at
    THE
    ADULT LEARNING CENTER

    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
    by Thursday September 17, 2009

    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.



    Class 1
    Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
    Step by Step, with Slide Presentation..
    Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

    Class 2
    Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks..

    Class 5
    Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
    Open Forum.
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    Class 8
    Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to Shop by Yourself.
    Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 14
    The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array 2ndsupporter's Avatar
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    [One Nation Under God]

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    Uh oh...

    *grabs popcorn and waits for Patti*

    ...this is gonna be fun!
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


    Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
    NRA Member & Pistol Instructor

    www.vanguardnc.com

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    Senior Member Array 1911PKR's Avatar
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    #15 Accepting your husbands addiction to firearms and how to cope.
    "Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom" Gen. George Patton

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1911PKR View Post
    #15 Accepting your husbands addiction to firearms and how to cope.
    That will be offered in the second semester courses
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  6. #6
    Member Array mutumbo's Avatar
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    holy **** that was the funniest thing ive read in a LOONG time. great stuff right there. love number 10

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    Gonna have to send Mrs. GB back for a refresher course or 14!!
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.

  8. #8
    RMS
    RMS is offline
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    That was great. My wife kept wondering why I was smiling at the computer screen.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array jhh3rd's Avatar
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    Are helmets mandatory for men in Class Eight??????

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    I've just been advised they have already reached the maximum occupancy for each class,the men who signed up significant others will be given 24 hour notification prior to their SO's receiving their new class schedules,may god have mercy on their souls
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunny View Post
    Uh oh...

    *grabs popcorn and waits for Patti*

    ...this is gonna be fun!
    She'll be here after she finishes class #14!
    CCW permit holder for Idaho, Utah, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire. I can carry in your country but not my own.

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
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    I don't think these are funny at all............................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ............................

    Okay, wife is gone...
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein

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    I'll tell you what would be really cool. For every pair of shoes they buy, we get to buy a gun or some accessory.

  14. #14
    Member Array IronMike's Avatar
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    My wife dosent need that stuff,shes perfect....ok shes gone now,hahahahahahahah! thats funny stuff D.
    It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
    2 Ruger alaskan .454s
    Ruger P95
    Rem 870
    Barrett .50BMG

  15. #15
    Senior Member Array PointnClick's Avatar
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    I really don't know what is up with Bumper, Miggy, and QK... these threads are always bloodier than any political post...

    Kinda like being front-row for a Gallagher show... avoiding the splatter is all but impossible...
    "Who is to say that I am not an instrument of karma? Indeed, who is to say that I am not the very hand of God himself, dispatched by the Almighty to smite the Philistines and hypocrites, to lay low the dishonest and corrupt, and to bust the jawbone of some jackass that so desperately deserves it?"

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