An older lady responded to an advertisement in a Florida newspaper about wanting to hire people to pick lemons. The owner of the grove interviewed her. "Well ma'm," he said, "picking lemons is an extremely physical occupation. Are you capable of doing it?"
"Why, yes, I am in very good physical condition for my age." she responded.
"Do you have any experience in picking lemons?" asked the grove owner.
She thought for a moment.
"Yes, I do." she said, then followed with......
I have been married and divorced 4 times.
I have owned two Chrysler (or insert Ford, Chevy....etc) automobiles
I have owned a Hi-Point hand gun. (or insert Jennings, Byco...etc.)
And, I voted for Obama. (or insert appropriate elected official's name)