Cosby stand-up comedy: 200 MPH ... Dogs & Cats

This is a discussion on Cosby stand-up comedy: 200 MPH ... Dogs & Cats within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Any Cosby fans, from back when he did his great stand-up comedy sessions? Remember " Why Is There Air? " Got any other stand-up comedy ...

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Thread: Cosby stand-up comedy: 200 MPH ... Dogs & Cats

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Cosby stand-up comedy: 200 MPH ... Dogs & Cats

    Any Cosby fans, from back when he did his great stand-up comedy sessions? Remember "Why Is There Air?"

    Got any other stand-up comedy routines that are knock outs, so funny you end up in tears?

    Well, here's an excerpt from the "Dogs & Cats" story. You've got to hear it, but he's got the audience in stitches, as usual.

    Bill Cosby
    "Dogs and Cats"
    200 MPH


    [Cosby] Dogs are better than cats. Cats are not cool at all. You know ... A cat is very independent. He's just suckin' in on your food, and he's goin' ...

    [Cosby] Now, answer this question: Does a cat ever do anything for you? Huh?

    [Cosby] No, Cat's don't do anything.

    [Audience] What about killing mice?

    [Cosby] They could kill mice anyplace! He don't have to be in your house! If he's hungry ... Look, you watch him. You got a shopping bag, an' he's goin' around lookin' for mice. A cat has never done anything for anybody, except to sit on your sofa, and shed, and make you sneeze. Cats, they sit there ... No, that's the truth, you watch, I'm tellin' you. A cat will just sit there on your sofa and ...

    [Cosby] You can't say' to a cat "Come here, Fido!" If you do, the cat'll say "What?"

    [Cosby] So I say "Come here."

    [Cat] "You're not talkin' to me. I was just sittin' here, sittin' on the sofa. Watchin' television, here. Got any more katnip?"

    [Cosby] "You haven't been catching any mice, lately."

    [Cat] "No, man, 'cause I'm full. You can't eat 'em all up in one day, you know. Besides, some of 'em haven't bathed yet."

    [Cosby] Yeah, that's why they call them cats.

    [Cosby] Now, a DOG is beautiful, you know?

    [Dog] "drool, wag, pant, skip, drool, pant ... what can I do for ya? ... want your slippers? ... here, here's your newspaper! ... drool, wag, pant, skip, drool, pant ..."
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Array PointnClick's Avatar
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    <--- Gigantic mark for Cosby... a powerful influence in my childhood. My dad had his comedy LP's back in the day... Revenge, Wonderfulness, and To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With are burned onto my psyche.

    I have enormous personal respect for Cosby... he quietly transcended race in the 60's with decency, humor, and intellect. He is rarely given the credit he deserves for his non-confrontational contribution to the civil rights movement. I Spy was landmark television, yet few remember it.

    Beyond that, he is one of the few 100% "clean" comedians that can make me cry laughing...

    Wanna laugh the rest of the afternoon...? Here ya go...
    "Who is to say that I am not an instrument of karma? Indeed, who is to say that I am not the very hand of God himself, dispatched by the Almighty to smite the Philistines and hypocrites, to lay low the dishonest and corrupt, and to bust the jawbone of some jackass that so desperately deserves it?"

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    Distinguished Member Array morintp's Avatar
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    I still think the best bit he did was the one about Noah's conversation with God from one of his earlier acts.


    YouTube - Bill Cosby Noah
    64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

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    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
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    I can't breathe when I watch "Bill Cosby: Himself", especially now that I have kids of my own.

    "...But Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!" When told to come out of the rain.
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

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    VIP Member Array cvhoss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paco View Post
    I can't breathe when I watch "Bill Cosby: Himself", especially now that I have kids of my own.

    "...But Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!" When told to come out of the rain.
    "Bill Cosby: Himself" is one of the funniest things I've ever watched. To this day, my now 36 year old son who was only 10 when this first came out still begs his mother to "remove the curse".

    Hoss
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    VIP Member Array grady's Avatar
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    Cosby stands alone, and takes a lot of heat for speaking about personal responsibility.

    If more people had his attitudes about personal responsibility, society would be a far better place.

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    RMS
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    What Grady said!!!!

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Remember the "idiot mittens"?

    Quote Originally Posted by PointnClick View Post
    he quietly transcended race in the 60's with decency, humor, and intellect. He is rarely given the credit he deserves ...


    He made quite a solid contribution, though seemingly peripherally. "They" didn't see him comin', and we're all the better for it.

    Occasionally, he went direct: "Black History: Lost, Stolen or Strayed"

    I Spy was landmark television, yet few remember it.
    I've got the series on DVD. Dated, catastrophically stereotyped characters at times, but a wonderful series in many ways.

    Quote Originally Posted by morintp View Post
    A person could get hospitalized, with that. But then, that goes for a lot of his material. He's still got it. I wish he'd get out and do it occasionally.


    Quote Originally Posted by grady View Post
    Cosby stands alone, and takes a lot of heat for speaking about personal responsibility.
    He's one of the few who do, which says far more about society's moral compass than him. Few appreciate it, though he knows it and we know it.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

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    Senior Member Array jca1's Avatar
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    Bill Cosby is a super funny comedian and a really great person. I think we could all learn from him.
    If I gave a crap about what you think about my guns.....it was early this morning and I already flushed it!

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    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paco View Post
    I can't breathe when I watch "Bill Cosby: Himself", especially now that I have kids of my own.

    "...But Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!" When told to come out of the rain.
    Heck yes, one of the best. My daughter loves Cosby, she is G ****** and I'm J christ to my husband.
    One of my favorite sayings is "Was your head with you all day?"

    Another old favorite, Rowen & Martin's Laugh In
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

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    VIP Member Array nedrgr21's Avatar
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    Well, he wasn't 100% clean. In "Himself" he cusses when talking about drugs "intensifying your personality"; however, no other word would really be appropriate or any where near as funny.

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rugergirl View Post
    Another old favorite, Rowen & Martin's Laugh In
    Uh, oh! Don't get me started.

    Remember Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann? Or, the "operator" skits, as Ernestine? Very interesting.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

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    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ccw9mm View Post
    Uh, oh! Don't get me started.

    Remember Lily Tomlin as Edith Ann? Or, the "operator" skits, as Ernestine? Very interesting.
    I'm your talking Judy doll, or Arte Johnson and Ruth Buzzi on the park bench, and don't forget the news skits.
    Say Goodnight Dick
    Last edited by Rugergirl; October 10th, 2009 at 09:01 AM.
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

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    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    I've always heard it...

    a Cat, is still trying to decide if they'll let you continue to live there or not.

    a Dog, is just real happy to have a home and for sharing it with him.

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    Jeez, I love the Cosby skits. We where just talking about him at work the other and were dying laughing at just the memory of the skits.

    As for the Curse...I was in a supermarket a few weeks ago day and watched a man threaten to put the curse on his 8 year old. The entire line went quiet with a soft intake of breath. "Is he really going to do it?"

    My dad threatened me many times, but never actually laid it on me.

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