This is a discussion on Artie the Hit Man... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; There was a man who wanted to off his wife but didn't have the spine to do it himself. One of his bar fly buddies ...
There was a man who wanted to off his wife but didn't have the spine to do it himself. One of his bar fly buddies heard him grumbling and said that he knew a hit man, "Artie", who was good at his trade. A meeting was arranged.
After introductions at an undisclosed location Artie stated the charge would be $10,000. The husband exclaimed that he only had $1 to his name to pay him. Artie, cursed him and stormed away. But, moments later came back.
"I can't believe I'm doing this but I love my trade so stinking much that I'll do it for a buck! I need to know your wife's weekly routine." So they settled on Wednesdays when his wife went shopping weekly at Safeway.
So Artie is hiding in the parking lot and sees his victim enter the store. He waits till she is in the checkout line then bursts through the door and chokes her right on the spot. The manager sees the commotion and runs over to try and save the woman. Artie then grabs him and strangles him. Now there is such a commotion that the produce manager, closest to the checkout line, jumps on the hit man whereas Artie overpowers him and kills him as well.
So what were the headlines the next day?
"Artie chokes three for a dollar at Safeway!" :
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