Actually, I tell her that her middle name should be "catastrophe".
This is a discussion on Need some work on my Inspection Arms within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; JD often tells me that my middle name should be "Inquisitive." I'm constantly wanting to know how, why, when, where, what? I want to know ...
JD often tells me that my middle name should be "Inquisitive." I'm constantly wanting to know how, why, when, where, what? I want to know everything and try everything as well. While I suppose it is a good trait to have it can be annoying. Apparently it can also be dangerous.
While talking about the Marine Corps Close Order Drill. I asked my husband if he would teach me some of the rifle drills and he was happy to comply. We got our AR-15, M-4 type rifles out of the safe and went to work on Inspection Arms. Though a few inches short in barrel and forearm and lacking the option for 3-round burst, the rifles are similar enough to do a decent drill with.
Primarily, the drill consists of standing at attention with your rifle to your right side, bringing it up and across your chest at a forty-five degree angle, racking the bolt back to reveal an empty chamber, checking the chamber and then presenting the rifle for inspection.
Sounds simple, doesn't it?
After the first five times of doing it I discovered just how difficult it can be. By the tenth time I was getting the initial presentation down and started working on racking the bolt and checking the chamber.
I watched my husband rack the bolt on his M-4, racked the bolt on my own M-4, watched him check his chamber and did the same. He brought his rifle back down sharply in front of his chest and I said, "Okay, like this?"
With that I whipped my rifle down and to the right and instantly felt my nose explode in pain, the fierceness of it spreading across the entire front of my face. The front sight hit me squarely on the bridge of my nose with all the force of an improperly wielded rifle.
I cupped my nose with my right hand, my eyes welling with tears of pain as I held out my rifle with the left and said, "Take it! Take it! Take it!"
My husband was attempting to sound compassionate through the peels of laughter as he took my rifle from me. I would be laughing myself were it not for the fact that I couldn't stop crying.
Fully expecting to find blood in my hands I still cupped my nose and sobbed, laughed and cursed while my husband just laughed and got out of few words along the lines of, "That was hilarious," and "Are you okay?"
Finally, he convinced me to let him look at my nose and he assured me it was still straight though I could have sworn it was missing all together. I was amazed to find no blood.
It took me about ten minutes to fully recover my composure and my husband and I shared another good five minutes laughing and taking turns checking for broken bones.
With a massive headache and throbbing nose I picked up my M-4 and said, "Okay. Let's try that again."
You need re-training, soldier! Get down and give me 20 and try it again!
Duty, Honor, Country...MEDIC!!!
¡Cuánto duele crecer, cuan hondo es el dolor de alzarse en puntillas y observar con temblores de angustia, esa cosa tremenda, que es la vida del hombre! - René Marqués
I just hold mine at arms length and say "yeah that looks good".
Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.
Next thing your gonna be eating some nasty MRE's
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
I remember in boot camp we had a kid break is nose doing inspection arms. He got in trouble for bleeding on the DI's floor. We all got a good laugh after lights out. Its a good thing you didn’t break it.
The first thread in the public area in a looong time... and its this!?
Hahahaha, always a class act Lima. Its good to laugh at yourself, and we like laughing with you. (or at you )
"Just blame Sixto"
I reserve the right to make fun, point and laugh etc.
Where was the good ol' Video Camera while all of this was going on?
"Cause that would have been absolutely priceless.
There are some really good utube videos of this!
JD kept saying, "Only you." Apparently I'm not the ONLY one.
My nose is still killing me!
JD, be sure to show Lima how to do inspection arms with an M1 Garand. Then because of the pain in her thumb she will forget the pain in her nose.
Seriously, I'm very glad you weren't injured too badly, Lima. And I too would have loved to see the video. If you check any good book that deals with comedy and/or humor eventually they all say that the essence of comedy/humor is pain and timing. It seems to me you got both of them down this time.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein