An old man...

An old man...

This is a discussion on An old man... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; ... was driving down the road when his wife called him on his cell phone. He answered and heard his frantic wife on the other ...

Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: An old man...

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,933

    An old man...

    ... was driving down the road when his wife called him on his cell phone. He answered and heard his frantic wife on the other end:

    "Honey be careful, I'm watching the news and they are reporting a man driving the wrong way on the interstate down where you are"

    The old man thinks for a moment and replies:

    "Honey, it's not just one car, its hundreds of them"



  2. #2
    Member Array kingdaddyoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Kentucky
    Posts
    335
    Now that's a good one!
    Ain't no fun when the rabbit has a gun!

  3. #3
    VIP Member
    Array TX-JB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Sugar Land, TX
    Posts
    5,739
    Now that is funny...
    "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!".... Sam Houston

    Retired LEO
    Firearms Instructor
    NRA Life Member

  4. #4
    Member Array Scrvoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    South Carolina
    Posts
    87

    Exclamation I guess I have to be careful what “jokes” I read here!

    I read this joke here today and then I left to go to town and finish my Christmas shopping. As I was approaching the stop sign at the corner a car turned onto my street and stayed in my lane until I thought a head on collision was a foregone conclusion. He then saw me and got back in his lane.

    About a mile later I was turning onto the main highway, the highway is divided here and there is a gas station between the north and south bound lanes. I turned north and an old lady turned south out of the gas station right into my lane! The sad part is I could see it on her face that she firmly believed I was wrong and driving in her lane.

    The speed limit at this point is 60 mph and she was approaching a blind hill. I lost track of her after she ignored my attempts to wave he off the road so I sure hope she did not kill anyone, including herself. After that the joke lost some of its humor for me.
    Ruger Super Blackhawk .44mag,Glock 17, Glock 19,Taurus 92 9mm,Llama .38, Taurus .38,Bersa Thunder .380,S&W Model 22A .22,Western Auto .22 ,NAA .22 Mag, Mini- Mini 14 .223,Mossberg 12 Gauge.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array Devone6's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    South of North, North of South
    Posts
    654
    Good one
    My heroes are Veterans and My Father (who was a veteran).

    I believe prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance should have REMAINED in schools, and the Ten Commandments should have REMAINED in schools, courthouses, and everywhere else it was before the ACLU got involved.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array searcher 45's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    TEXAS
    Posts
    4,211
    I like it!!!!!
    NOT LIVING IN FEAR, JUST READY!!!
    I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness,
    nor the arrow for its swiftness,
    nor the warrior for his glory.
    I love only that which they defend.
    -J.R.R. Tolkien

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    2,984
    That was me.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State
    Posts
    4,207
    This happened just last week near where I live:


    TOWN OF ULSTER — An elderly man involved in a head-on accident after driving the wrong way on U.S. Route 209 has died.

    Daryl L. Spencer, 87, of Ratterman Road, Woodstock, died Thursday at Albany Medical Center from injuries suffered in the Tuesday accident.

    Witnesses told police Spencer drove his car, a 2003 Ford Focus, northbound in the southbound lanes of the four-lane divided highway and struck a 1995 Toyota Camry driven by Ernest Henkel, 78, of Rhinebeck.

    The accident occurred around 11:15 a.m. near the Enterprise Drive overpass.

    Spencer was removed from his car by Ulster Hose Fire Department and was flown by helicopter to Albany Medical Center. Henkel was taken by Mobile Life ambulance to St. Francis Hospital in Poughkeepsie.

    The Ulster County Sheriff’s Office has not said how Spencer ended up on the wrong side of the highway.
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
    -- Benjamin Franklin

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Bay City
    Posts
    2,302

    here is a variation

    A Florida state trooper is sitting behind a billboard watching for speeders when he sees a car going down the highway at 35 MPH. The cars coming up on it from the rear keep braking hard and swerving to aviod rear ending it so he decides to stop the car to see whats up.

    When he stops the car there are four little grey haried ladies in it. He ask the driver for her DL and insurance. She gives it to him. He then ask her why she is driving so slow.
    She says "Oh I was driving the speed limit officer. The sign said F-35"
    He explains that F-35 is the highway number and not the speed limit. He then ask why the other three ladies in the car are all white faced and shaking, and look ill.
    The driver says, "Oh their OK, we just got off highway 125."

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •