An old man...

An old man...

This is a discussion on An old man... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; ... was driving down the road when his wife called him on his cell phone. He answered and heard his frantic wife on the other ...

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Thread: An old man...

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
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    Aug 2007

    An old man...

    ... was driving down the road when his wife called him on his cell phone. He answered and heard his frantic wife on the other end:

    "Honey be careful, I'm watching the news and they are reporting a man driving the wrong way on the interstate down where you are"

    The old man thinks for a moment and replies:

    "Honey, it's not just one car, its hundreds of them"

  2. #2
    Member Array kingdaddyoh's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    Now that's a good one!
    Ain't no fun when the rabbit has a gun!

  3. #3
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    Sep 2007
    Sugar Land, TX
    Now that is funny...
    "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!".... Sam Houston

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  4. #4
    Member Array Scrvoy's Avatar
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    May 2007
    South Carolina

    Exclamation I guess I have to be careful what “jokes” I read here!

    I read this joke here today and then I left to go to town and finish my Christmas shopping. As I was approaching the stop sign at the corner a car turned onto my street and stayed in my lane until I thought a head on collision was a foregone conclusion. He then saw me and got back in his lane.

    About a mile later I was turning onto the main highway, the highway is divided here and there is a gas station between the north and south bound lanes. I turned north and an old lady turned south out of the gas station right into my lane! The sad part is I could see it on her face that she firmly believed I was wrong and driving in her lane.

    The speed limit at this point is 60 mph and she was approaching a blind hill. I lost track of her after she ignored my attempts to wave he off the road so I sure hope she did not kill anyone, including herself. After that the joke lost some of its humor for me.
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  5. #5
    Senior Member Array Devone6's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
    South of North, North of South
    Good one
    My heroes are Veterans and My Father (who was a veteran).

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  6. #6
    VIP Member Array searcher 45's Avatar
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    Sep 2009
    I like it!!!!!
    I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness,
    nor the arrow for its swiftness,
    nor the warrior for his glory.
    I love only that which they defend.
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  7. #7
    VIP Member Array ExactlyMyPoint's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
    Portland, OR
    That was me.
    Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array JonInNY's Avatar
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    Jan 2008
    Mid-Hudson Valley New York State
    This happened just last week near where I live:

    TOWN OF ULSTER — An elderly man involved in a head-on accident after driving the wrong way on U.S. Route 209 has died.

    Daryl L. Spencer, 87, of Ratterman Road, Woodstock, died Thursday at Albany Medical Center from injuries suffered in the Tuesday accident.

    Witnesses told police Spencer drove his car, a 2003 Ford Focus, northbound in the southbound lanes of the four-lane divided highway and struck a 1995 Toyota Camry driven by Ernest Henkel, 78, of Rhinebeck.

    The accident occurred around 11:15 a.m. near the Enterprise Drive overpass.

    Spencer was removed from his car by Ulster Hose Fire Department and was flown by helicopter to Albany Medical Center. Henkel was taken by Mobile Life ambulance to St. Francis Hospital in Poughkeepsie.

    The Ulster County Sheriff’s Office has not said how Spencer ended up on the wrong side of the highway.
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch; Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
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  9. #9
    VIP Member Array TedBeau's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    Bay City

    here is a variation

    A Florida state trooper is sitting behind a billboard watching for speeders when he sees a car going down the highway at 35 MPH. The cars coming up on it from the rear keep braking hard and swerving to aviod rear ending it so he decides to stop the car to see whats up.

    When he stops the car there are four little grey haried ladies in it. He ask the driver for her DL and insurance. She gives it to him. He then ask her why she is driving so slow.
    She says "Oh I was driving the speed limit officer. The sign said F-35"
    He explains that F-35 is the highway number and not the speed limit. He then ask why the other three ladies in the car are all white faced and shaking, and look ill.
    The driver says, "Oh their OK, we just got off highway 125."

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