Some thangs jest can't be done!

Some thangs jest can't be done!

This is a discussion on Some thangs jest can't be done! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; (With apologies to our lady members ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, ...

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Thread: Some thangs jest can't be done!

  1. #1
    VIP Member (Retired Staff) Array P95Carry's Avatar
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    Talking Some thangs jest can't be done!

    (With apologies to our lady members )


    A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

    The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

    The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

    The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

    The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

    Chris - P95
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    Senior Moderator
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    Ahhhhhh.......the bridge would be easier!
    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ: Buy These Stickers Here

    "A man without ethics is a wild beast loosed upon the world" Albert Camus

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    VIP Member Array KenpoTex's Avatar
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    "Being a predator isn't always comfortable but the only other option is to be prey. That is not an acceptable option." ~Phil Messina

    If you carry in Condition 3, you have two empty chambers. One in the weapon...the other between your ears.

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    I like. I know a couple of bikers that would prefer the bridge. Don't know if I really want to know the other request.
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

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    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    That was good
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    Senior Member Array Rugerman's Avatar
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    My wife slapped me for showing her that one,....................
    George Washington: "A free people ought to be armed."

  7. #7
    Member Array St Michael's Avatar
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    That is one of my all-time favorites.

    Here's another:

    A man goes to see a doctor.

    "D...ddd...dddooo...dddoooooccccc....doccctttt.... doooccccttttorrrr! hhhee...hhheelllllpppp mmmm...mmmmmeeeee!!!

    The doc replies,

    "Don't worry, I once had a stuttering problem worse than yours. But I kissed my wife passionately three times a day for three months, and it stopped.

    The patient returns three months later.

    "D...ddd...dddooo...dddoooooccccc....doccctttt.... doooccccttttorrrr!

    Iii...iitttt...ddd...dddidn't... wwww....wwwork!

    But you sure have nice curtains!"

    (Slightly edited for this family-friendly forum from the version I first heard while a resident in the OR many years ago ;-)

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