US Military Rules of Engagement

US Military Rules of Engagement

This is a discussion on US Military Rules of Engagement within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Rules of Conflict The Rules of Conflict, according to the various American forces... US Army Rules 1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. ...

Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: US Military Rules of Engagement

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    McKinney, TX
    Posts
    3,507

    US Military Rules of Engagement

    Rules of Conflict

    The Rules of Conflict, according to the various American forces...
    US Army Rules

    1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
    2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
    3. Have a plan.
    4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
    5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
    6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
    7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
    8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
    9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
    10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
    11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
    12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
    13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot...

    Navy SEAL's Rules

    1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
    2. Kill every living thing within view.
    3. Adjust speedo.
    4. Check hair in mirror.

    US Army Rangers Rules

    1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
    2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
    3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
    4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
    5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

    Marine Corps Rules

    1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
    2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
    3. Curse bitterly.
    4. Curse bitterly
    5. Do not listen to 2nd Lieutenants, it can get you killed.
    6. Curse bitterly!

    US Air Force Rules

    1. Have a cocktail.
    2. Adjust temperature on air conditioner.
    3. See what's on HBO.
    4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
    5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
    6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
    7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
    8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
    9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee time.
    10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

    US Navy Rules

    1. Go to Sea.
    2. Drink Coffee.
    3. Deploy Marines
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

    -Paco
    http://www.shieldsd.net

  2. #2
    Distinguished Member Array TerriLi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    1,231
    Rule 11 for the Air Force:Bomb the bad guys and their stuff, fly home and enjoy tivo of your fave show.
    I know not what this "overkill" means.

    Honing the knives, Cleaning the longguns, Stocking up ammo.

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array tiwee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Oz
    Posts
    1,708
    Think about the poor Navy. Confined aboard ship with a bunch of Marines.

  4. #4
    Member Array Backnblack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    285
    For Marines

    7. Kill Everything

    HTC Thunderbolt....4G Lightning Speed

  5. #5
    Member Array Jim Macklin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Wichita, KS
    Posts
    236

    obama rules

    Send a messenger to advise that a building search will be conducted at noon the next day.

    A lawyer will be present to provide advice on all legal rights.

    A pool camera-man will be present [pool from MSNBC, ABC, or PBS] to record an editable video for the recording of all rights violated by any US trooper.


    The People Think the Constitution Protects Their Rights;
    Government See IT as an Obstacle to be Over-come.

  6. #6
    Distinguished Member Array ArmyCop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Chickasaw, AL
    Posts
    1,893
    Many a truth is said in jest. Good post.
    For God, Family and Country!

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array Paco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    McKinney, TX
    Posts
    3,507
    I have been thinking about creating one for Supply. I remember during Basic when I was waiting for my broken foot to heal, I did time in Supply. I learned how the various companies obtained their equipment, from the other companies when they weren't looking

    I bet it would be hilarious. I remember I was told to go get the fruit tray from Command and to not let anyone see me. Have you ever seen a man carry a fruit try while on crutches, and not be seen?
    "Don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep." - Theodore Roosevelt

    -Paco
    http://www.shieldsd.net

  8. #8
    Member Array SteveinNEPA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Tobyhanna,PA
    Posts
    469
    You forgot RECON, ya know USMC FORCE RECON!!!

    1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order because you were not given a higher power rifle and not enough explosives.
    2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee because you will not sleep until everything within a 20 mile radius is either dead or in pieces.
    3. Curse bitterly because you blew everything up and dont have anything left to kill.
    4. Curse bitterly because you have been given orders to STOP blowing things up and killing things by the command who just happens to be a 2nd LT.
    5. Do not listen to 2nd Lieutenants, it can get you killed or screw everything up.
    6. Curse bitterly because you are leaving the AO and there is still a small tree standing.
    7. Curse bitterly because your CO stateside said you didnt cause enough carnage and you blame the 2nd LT overseas and CO refers you to rule #5.
    8. Curse VERY bitterly because you and your unit have been given tooth brushs, potato peelers and supply logs and told GET TO WORK because of rule 5 violation.

    (I have a friend who is recon, nice guy but can kill you in his sleep)
    BETTER TO BE TRIED BY 12 THAN CARRIED BY 6
    Hesitation kills faster than a bullet.
    If your head is up your *$$ you are unaware of danger. You are in the perfect position to kiss it goodbye.
    Open Carry LAW for Pennsylvania
    http://www.thecrimsonpirate.com/rtkb...pdate_2009.pdf

  9. #9
    Distinguished Member Array Paymeister's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,536
    Re Supply: everyone who hasn't seen it yet should rent Kelly's Heroes: a great film.

    During World War II, Ex-Lieutenant-now-Pvt Kelly (Clint Eastwood) learns of a German bank located behind enemy lines containing 16 million dollars in gold bars. His platoon, led by Big Joe (Telly Savalas), has three days of R&R coming, so, with the aid of the supply sergeant, hustler Crapgame (Don Rickles), anachronistic hippie Oddball (Donald Sutherland), three Sherman tanks and a touch of irreverence, Kelly leads his men deep into French territory to steal the gold for themselves.
    Recently updated website: http://www.damagedphotorepair.com

Remove Ads

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. New Rules of Engagement in Afghanistan
    By Sig 210 in forum Law Enforcement, Military & Homeland Security Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: August 10th, 2010, 09:12 AM
  2. Petraeus to Modify Afghanistan Rules of Engagement, Source Says
    By WhoWeBePart1 in forum Law Enforcement, Military & Homeland Security Discussion
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: June 29th, 2010, 03:52 PM
  3. New Rules of Engagement
    By Patti in forum Law Enforcement, Military & Homeland Security Discussion
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: December 4th, 2009, 11:00 PM
  4. Rules of engagement is an oxymoron
    By ExactlyMyPoint in forum Law Enforcement, Military & Homeland Security Discussion
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: May 16th, 2008, 06:26 PM
  5. Klein's Rules Of Engagement
    By Captain Crunch in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: August 12th, 2007, 03:16 AM

Search tags for this page

military humor rules of engagment

,

us military rules of engagement

Click on a term to search for related topics.