For all the current and former Aircrew: Santa and the FAA

This is a discussion on For all the current and former Aircrew: Santa and the FAA within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check. ...

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Thread: For all the current and former Aircrew: Santa and the FAA

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    Array msgt/ret's Avatar
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    For all the current and former Aircrew: Santa and the FAA

    Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check.

    In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his log book out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa's flying skills to the test.

    The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass.

    Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

    "What's that for?!?" Asked Santa incredulously.

    The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

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    Member Array Jim Macklin's Avatar
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    I heard the EPA is going to ground Santa, because of air pollution, deer exhale lots of CO2 and have you seen the solid waste?
    The People Think the Constitution Protects Their Rights;
    Government See IT as an Obstacle to be Over-come.

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    New Member Array asardoc's Avatar
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    This is classic! I also like a slightly modified version when the examiner says "You're going to lose Number 3 on takeoff..." I don't know if this makes me chuckle more because it's more techinical sounding or because it makes me think of Prancer getting a 12 gauge slug up the white-tail.

    I hope this year Santa doesn't get out his laptop and fly right over MSP... I heard that's been happening a lot recently. ;-)

    Great post!
    "A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."
    Dwight D. Eisenhower

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    Ya'll can also check out the flight plans here:

    Official NORAD Santa Tracker

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    Member Array NosaMSirhC's Avatar
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    That was good. I have a friend that was a weight and balance officer in a squadron. Hope you don't mind me sharing that with him.

    Be Safe,

    NosaM
    "In a crisis, you will not rise to the occasion, but you will default to the level of your training."

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    Senior Member Array The Fish's Avatar
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    Funny but, even for someone who doesn't do Christmas,the thought of shooting one of the "engines" is painful.
    " Keep On Packin' On The Bimah"

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