Help me with a family issue

Help me with a family issue

This is a discussion on Help me with a family issue within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; This is not just immediate family issues, this is more on my in-laws side of the family. This year I shot my one deer, I ...

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Thread: Help me with a family issue

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
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    Unhappy Help me with a family issue

    This is not just immediate family issues, this is more on my in-laws side of the family.

    This year I shot my one deer, I got the meat for it and offered to split it up with my in-laws. We got 30 lbs out of it. They said we could keep it, they'll get one eventually. Well my mother in law was sick so she couldn't hunt the better half of this season, my father in law didn't get one either. My brother in law got his the same day I did last week.

    Because we had an extra tag (since my mother in law didn't use hers), he used hers today (that's a whole separate issue). So we got 3 deer between the family. 2 were shot by my brother in law, and one by me. Generally we split up the meat amongst the family. Now my brother in law wants to keep all 70lbs he got out of his two and won't share it, even though he shot the second one on my mother in laws tag. I offered to split up what little meat we got out of my one deer, my in-laws didn't want it then, but now they do since they didn't get anything. He's done this before and apparently they did not learn their lesson then

    I told my wife to tell my brother in law to stop being a turd and share the darn meat... but she doesn't want to "get in the middle of it". I'm not really on a personal level with the guy, I mean we'll hunt together, have a beer when I'm up there, but he's more of an acquaintance if anything. The problem is my wife's parents have no spine to tell him to split it up, nor does she.

    I don't talk to the guy much so I can't pull the weight like my wife or her parents can to tell him to split it up. So now I'm stuck with splitting up my 30lbs of my meat while he gets away with 70lbs...

    I'm obviously mad, I told my wife to tell him to split the darn meat up and my wife turns around and tells ME that I can't hunt up there anymore if I'm gonna act like this

    At this point she changed the convo (meaning I had a point and she didn't want to talk about it anymore) So we just said our goodbyes and hung up.

    I'm beyond livid right now... what can I do to fix this? My wife nor her parents have any spine to tell my brother in law to split it up... so "talking to them" is out of the question, they won't do it. I'll be darned if I'm forced to split up what little meat I got, but he'll get away with most of it, and it wasn't even his tag.

    Help.


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array jca1's Avatar
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    Split the meat like you said you would, that's what men do. Let the squabbling little infant keep his precious meat and just let it go. Don't talk about it anymore, don't think about it anymore....just let it go.
    If I gave a crap about what you think about my guns.....it was early this morning and I already flushed it!

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jca1 View Post
    Split the meat like you said you would, that's what men do. Let the squabbling little infant keep his precious meat and just let it go. Don't talk about it anymore, don't think about it anymore....just let it go.
    Easier said then done. I hate watching others walk all over my loved ones, and then watching them not do anything about about it when I stand powerless on the sidelines.

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    Man that's hard, not sure I have any advice, other than confronting the brother in law, which obviously is something you are reluctant to do, and I can't say I blame you, in law issue aren't always easy. It is his parents after all, you think the guy would want to help them out after letting him use the tag, is he a jerk about other things as well?

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    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    Keep your word and let him be the turd. When all else is gone in this world all you have left is your word.

    I have seen plenty of trouble over venison and while you are right in being mad... It's not worth family issues.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

    NRA Member

  6. #6
    Distinguished Member Array Pro2A's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shooterX View Post
    Man that's hard, not sure I have any advice, other than confronting the brother in law, which obviously is something you are reluctant to do, and I can't say I blame you, in law issue aren't always easy. It is his parents after all, you think the guy would want to help them out after letting him use the tag, is he a jerk about other things as well?
    Not really, he and his family lack social skills, I think thats the issue. Not that he's trying to be a turd.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array jca1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pro2A View Post
    Easier said then done. I hate watching others walk all over my loved ones, and then watching them not do anything about about it when I stand powerless on the sidelines.
    I understand, I'd be Pissed too. Just step up and split the meat. Don't act like it's hurting you to do so or it will not be appreciated. Forget the unappreciative jerk of a brother-in-law. One day he will step in one of these mud holes he's digging and you'll get to watch him walk around in wet socks.
    If I gave a crap about what you think about my guns.....it was early this morning and I already flushed it!

  8. #8
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    Maybe he'll choke on a piece of meat.

    Wouldn't that be ironic justice?

    Be the bigger man. Keep your own good word. It's much more valuable than meat.

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    New Member Array AzLoneRider's Avatar
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    Pro2A,
    Your a man of your word and that's why your agonizing over this and why it makes you so mad. Like the others said you should split the meat you have. You know this is the right thing to do. I know it rubs the wrong way to see somone else acting this way, but the world is made of the type of people like your brother-in-law who have blinders on and can only see what's in it for them.

    Good luck, and understand that you do the right things in life so you can hold your head up with pride.

    Andy

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array HKinNY's Avatar
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    So shooting him with a paint gun and tagging his ear is out of the question.

  11. #11
    Member Array andr0id's Avatar
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    Give *all* your meat to the BIL, not the parents, and tell the wife and parents it's up to him to split it all up fairly. He'll be totally on the hot seat then and will either have to man up or become the family jackass forever. Act real cool and generous about it and then let him take over and show his true nature.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array cagueits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jca1 View Post
    Split the meat like you said you would, that's what men do. Let the squabbling little infant keep his precious meat and just let it go. Don't talk about it anymore, don't think about it anymore....just let it go.
    +

    Don't go hunting (or any other activities for the matter) with him anymore.
    I can no longer keep track of threads as I used to. If you need to contact me, PM me instead of asking me something in the thread. Disclaimer - No legal advice issued anywhere. Take care.

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    Where do you live in PA. I got plenty of meat and more tags (Ohio) to go around. I'll share.

    I just like to hunt so I'll keep shooting them if there are freezers to fill.
    It is surely true that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Nor can you make them grateful for your efforts.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array stanislaskasava's Avatar
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    I'm no hunter, but is it safe to assume that none of you will starve without the meat and your family tradition of sharing is designed to ensure that everybody gets a little venison from year to year? Do your in-laws want the meat because they particularly enjoy deer meat or because they want to save on groceries? Or did you hunt on 'family' land?

    Perhaps I am missing something, but from what you say, I think your wife has a point. You've lost perspective. You are "beyond livid" -- it's just food. Regardless of who eats it, it all goes down the sewer pipe eventually.

    My only suggestion is to relax and give your inlaws some meat because you love them ('tis the season, afterall). Apologize to your wife for making a mountain out of a mole hill. You have reported several squabbles recently; do you really need another one?

    I know that you feel like your getting worked, but you can't let selfish, immature people (I refer to you BIL) push you into acting the same.

    As I said, I'm no hunter (yet), but I do fish -- I've got to imagine that most of the enjoyment of hunting comes from the hunting itself, not from amassing more meat than the other guy.

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    I only had to have "1" discussion with my brother in law when I was about to be engaged to his sister. He went completely off on her , yelling, etc. and then hit her (he's younger). I didn't think it was my place to step in until then. I slammed him up agaisnt the wall and while holding him about a foot off the ground, told him to never ever do something like that again, or he wouldn't like what I'ld do to him.

    Funny, he never treated his sister bad or said a cross word to her again, for the next 28 yrs.

    But, I'm afraid you are wasting your energy. They all know he's a jerk, that's why they won't even waste their time talking to him, they know it won't do any good.

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