This is a discussion on Office Etiquette within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; This is a moldy oldy, but still pretty darn funny.
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company ...
May 2nd, 2006 03:05 PM
This is a moldy oldy, but still pretty darn funny.
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
No f______ way.
5) TRY SAYING:
You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
It's not my f______ problem.
8) TRY SAYING:
What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
Why the h___ didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment
F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that
Who the h___ died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
He's a pr_ck.
Thank You, Human Resources
"fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand
May 2nd, 2006 03:40 PM
May 2nd, 2006 03:53 PM
USAF: Loving Our Obscene Amenities Since 1947
May 2nd, 2006 04:14 PM
I love it...me being the HR nightmare.
"Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it."
May 2nd, 2006 04:24 PM
That was SO F____ Stupid.
I Mean: Great Thanks!
May 2nd, 2006 07:23 PM
ya know i think i uesd at least 5 of them today
May 2nd, 2006 08:10 PM
s..t, i use all of those.
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