Was going to put this in defensive scenarios...
What caliber for ninja spider monkeys?
Well we've all hears of trained monkeys that can pick-pocket you, now there's this:
Taekwondo monkeys attack trainer - Telegraph
Lo Wung, 42, taught the monkeys so they could entertain crowds outside a shopping centre in Nshi, in eastern China's Hubei province.
But the money-spinning primates turned the tables on their trainer when he slipped during a show, with one quick-thinking monkey flooring him with a kick to the head.
Hu Luang, 32, a bystander who photographed the incident, said: "I saw one punch him in the eye - he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose. They were leaping and jumping all over the place. It was better than a Bruce Lee film."
At one point the monkey trainer grabbed a staff to hit the monkeys, only to find himself facing a stick-brandishing monkey that cracked him over the head.
He only managed to get the monkeys under control by tangling them up in the rope that had been used to stop them running off.
Mr Hu said: "He was really furious, he made the monkeys kneel on the ground with their hands tied behind their backs to punish them and make them show remorse for their nasty attack."