Abbott and Costello!

This is a discussion on Abbott and Costello! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of ...

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Thread: Abbott and Costello!

  1. #1
    Member Array BukWild's Avatar
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    Abbott and Costello!

    You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array tiwee's Avatar
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    That is good.
    At first, I thought this was going to be like a word association.
    You know:
    Abbott and Costello - Holder and Napolitano

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    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tiwee View Post
    That is good.
    At first, I thought this was going to be like a word association.
    You know:
    Abbott and Costello - Holder and Napolitano
    I was thinking Obama/Biden but there ain't nothing funny about those two clowns.


    That would make a good skit, I can almost see it now.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

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    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    that's a good one.

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    Now that is a great one.

    Just for the younguns out there here is the original.

    YouTube - Who's on first?
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

  7. #6
    Senior Member Array boscobeans's Avatar
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    Great routine... Too bad they aren't around any longer to do it.

    bosco

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    Member Array tradermike69's Avatar
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    I am getting old, yes remember them well,, also check out the one with them and the math problem, very funny, we all need all the laughs we can get, in the day to day world, stress, and the clowns in the White house, But then again they arn't funny. LOL

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tradermike69 View Post
    I am getting old, yes remember them well,, also check out the one with them and the math problem, very funny, we all need all the laughs we can get, in the day to day world, stress, and the clowns in the White house, But then again they arn't funny. LOL
    That's a great skit.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

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  10. #9
    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rottkeeper View Post
    I was thinking Obama/Biden but there ain't nothing funny about those two clowns.
    I don't know, I LMAO every time I see and hear um.
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." – Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." – Thomas Jefferson

  11. #10
    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    lol! It's like who's on first for today's technologically DE-clined! I love it! :)
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


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