Three Reported Missing

This is a discussion on Three Reported Missing within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally Johnstown, PA : Local and state police scoured the hills ...

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  1. #1
    Member Array UnklFungus's Avatar
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    Three Reported Missing

    Three Reported Missing After Animal Rights Activists Take "War on Leather" to Motorcycle Gang Rally

    Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside fast food restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.

    "Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong."

    The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats," decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats." "In fact," said the organizer. Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."

    According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960's era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers" to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

    "They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!"

    "I... I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket. And, he... He didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know is he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."

    Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers farted on their heads."

    Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.

    "That's preposterous," said on high ranking member of the biker organizing committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome "

    When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer
    “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”

    Patrick Henry
    Quote Originally Posted by UnklFungus
    If it is ok to disarm legal citizens to reduce crime, then doesn't it stand to disband the military to prevent war?

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    Senior Member Array MR D's Avatar
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    I often wondered when they would grow a pair and go after bikers...

    WOW!!




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    Distinguished Member Array PastorPack's Avatar
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    My wife and I laughed ourselves silly over this one!
    God is love (1 John 4:8)

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    Senior Member Array TheShadow's Avatar
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    That's great...

    I feel like buying a Harley
    “Put your pain in a box. Lock it down. No man is stronger than one who can harness his emotions.” -Act of Valor

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    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    LMAO!

    oh please, PLEASE tell me there's an article for them taking on the cowboys, too?
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


    Sig Sauer P239 DAK (9mm)
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    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
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    I suppose that the anti fur and leather group will be at Sturges this year.
    One should never confuse good fortune with good training.
    Illegitimus Non Carborundum.
    In God we trust.

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    Senior Member Array Barbary's Avatar
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    Is this for real? If so,. Except for the three still missing part of the story. The funny part was how surprised the PETA members were at the bikers response.

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    I always have a roll of duct tape handy just in case....the stuff is a miricle on a roll!!

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    Distinguished Member Array Rugergirl's Avatar
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    True or not, that is just plain funny, thanks for a morning laugh.
    Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.

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    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
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    he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."
    Priceless.
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." – Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." – Thomas Jefferson

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    Owning several leather jackets and a Harley I almost peed myself laughing!

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    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
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    Funny, but I doubt its veracity.

    Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” at Motorcycle Rally|GlossyNews.com

    Based upon some of the other articles, I am guessing this site is satirical, like The Onion.

    JMO. YMMV.
    Last edited by miklcolt45; January 9th, 2010 at 10:34 AM. Reason: It's not correct to put 'it's' where I should have put 'its.'
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein

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    Member Array SAnta01's Avatar
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    I wonder If Rocky has duct tape with him? I bet he has pics.!

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    Member Array Riana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UnklFungus View Post
    When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer declined to comment in detail. "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer



  16. #15
    VIP Member Array rottkeeper's Avatar
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    Reminds me of an old saying, never tickle a bears butt with a short feather. If true they got what they asked for, now if the protesters that show up at military funerals would get a dose of the same I'd really be happy.
    For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the son of man be. Mathew 24:27

    NRA Member

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