The Devil Responds to Pat Robertson on Haiti

The Devil Responds to Pat Robertson on Haiti

This is a discussion on The Devil Responds to Pat Robertson on Haiti within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; The Devil Responds to Pat Robertson on Haiti - Robert Schlesinger (usnews.com) The best part... Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all ...

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Thread: The Devil Responds to Pat Robertson on Haiti

  1. #1
    Member Array UnklFungus's Avatar
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    The Devil Responds to Pat Robertson on Haiti

    The Devil Responds to Pat Robertson on Haiti - Robert Schlesinger (usnews.com)

    The best part...

    Dear Pat Robertson,
    I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

    Best,
    Satan
    “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.”

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    Quote Originally Posted by UnklFungus
    If it is ok to disarm legal citizens to reduce crime, then doesn't it stand to disband the military to prevent war?


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    New Member Array anicca's Avatar
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    Member Array ms121269's Avatar
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    Too funny...you know South Park will cover this. "You Will Respect My Authoritah!!!!!!"

    I think it was Leno who said "did Haiti really need Satan to help defeat France?"
    Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

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    VIP Member Array chiefjason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ms121269 View Post
    I think it was Leno who said "did Haiti really need Satan to help defeat France?"
    ROFL, I just realized the French have lost to Haiti and themselves. That's quite a record.

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
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    Pat Robertson, another bumbling fool IMO.....
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." – Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." – Thomas Jefferson

  6. #6
    Senior Member Array paul45's Avatar
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    I've made a deal with the Devil (my wife) just to keep my guns and get more ammo.
    P.S. - She is the best looking (and smelling) Devil I have met.
    "Being PARANOID is just plain smart thinking when they are really out to get you!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by paul45 View Post
    P.S. - She is the best looking (and smelling) Devil I have met.
    After my wife eats black beans she smells like brimstone. : (
    I haven’t heard any of the journalists who volunteered to be waterboarded asking to have their fingernails wrenched out with pliers, or electrodes attached to their genitals.

  8. #8
    Member Array RugerReady's Avatar
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    The words can't and impossible are honey only to lips of losers. "Keith Matt(Me)"

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    VIP Member Array gottabkiddin's Avatar
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    ahhh, where's the "Bean O".
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." – Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." – Thomas Jefferson

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array paul45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    After my wife eats black beans she smells like brimstone. : (
    I love life! I don't think I will touch that one!
    "Being PARANOID is just plain smart thinking when they are really out to get you!"

  11. #11
    Distinguished Member Array jumpwing's Avatar
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    There are thousands and thousands of people who dedicate their lives to helping others (often at great expense to themselves) in the name of God. But it's people like Pat Robertson, Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, and Oral "God told me to raise $8 million or he'll kill me" Roberts who get all the press.

    It's no wonder people roll their eyes when I tell them I'm a Christian.
    "The flock sleep peaceably in their pasture at night because Sheepdogs stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
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    Member Array IronMike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    After my wife eats black beans she smells like brimstone. : (
    dont cook for her nomore!
    It is pardonable to be defeated but never surprised.
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    Distinguished Member Array Bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paul45 View Post
    I've made a deal with the Devil (my wife) just to keep my guns and get more ammo.
    P.S. - She is the best looking (and smelling) Devil I have met.
    Better the Devil you know.

    Wait, so what was the deal? You get to keep your guns and get more ammo in exchange for what? So far this sounds like a sweet deal!
    Don't frisk me, I am the weapon.


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