an all time favorite!
This is a discussion on Jesus knows you're here. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, > > ...
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
> 'Jesus knows you're here.'
> He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
> When he heard nothing more , after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
> Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard
> 'Jesus is watching you.'
> Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
> Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
> 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
> 'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
> The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
> 'Moses,' replied the bird.
> 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
> 'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
Always remember that others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.
Richard M Nixon
Owning a handgun doesn't make you armed any more than owning a guitar makes you a musician.”
an all time favorite!
Range time + ammo: $50
Quality mother/daughter time: PRICELESS
I haven't seen that in a long time, but it's still funny as all get out.
"I dislike death, however, there are some things I dislike more than death. Therefore, there are times when I will not avoid danger" Mencius"
You've gotta love Jesus
Disclaimer: The posts made by this member are only the members opinion, not a reflection on anyone else, nor the group, and should not be cause for anyone to get their undergarments wedged in an uncomfortable position.
“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”.... Albert Einstein
I love that one!
Usually I can see jokes coming, but I was in the dark until the punchline. Anytime that happens and it makes me laugh out loud, it is a goood joke.
Walk softly ...
Sic 'em, Jesus!
"I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."
"A lot of phonies in the world who portray themselves as "victims". It takes a great deal of discernment to know they are fake."