Upgrade your wife

Upgrade your wife

This is a discussion on Upgrade your wife within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father ...

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Thread: Upgrade your wife

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array mr.stuart's Avatar
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    Upgrade your wife

    A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in
    a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were
    strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost
    everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that
    could move apart and then slide back together again.

    The boy asked, 'Paw, what's at?'

    The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,

    'Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my whole life.

    I ain't got no idea'r what it is.

    While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a heavy-set
    old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a
    button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small
    room.

    The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small
    circular number above the walls light up sequentially. They continued
    to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began
    to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a
    gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.

    The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his
    son..........

    'Boy..................go gitcha Momma....’


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array deadeye72's Avatar
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    I love it.
    Glock 27
    BENELLI NOVA

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array Eagleks's Avatar
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    Now, that's funny.....

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array dukalmighty's Avatar
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    Seen It before'but I still try it on my wife from time to time,but she comes out the same everytime....Perfect
    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

  5. #5
    Member Array monk's Avatar
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    That's a good way to deal with all these cc's that have mates that are anti-cc's.
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    "When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others."
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  6. #6
    Senior Member Array jca1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dukalmighty View Post
    Seen It before'but I still try it on my wife from time to time,but she comes out the same everytime....Perfect
    If she see's this, you gonna be smiling tonight.
    If I gave a crap about what you think about my guns.....it was early this morning and I already flushed it!

  7. #7
    New Member Array diggers127's Avatar
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    Me and wife are on the way to the mall right now!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array searcher 45's Avatar
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    If that silver wall that opens really worked I would get in with her and start live all over again with the knowledge I have now!!!!!
    NOT LIVING IN FEAR, JUST READY!!!
    I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness,
    nor the arrow for its swiftness,
    nor the warrior for his glory.
    I love only that which they defend.
    -J.R.R. Tolkien

  9. #9
    Mic
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    Anyone know wher I can find them doors?
    Timid people sleep peacefully at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.


    Molôn Labé!

  10. #10
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    Very funny, but I like my wife just the way she is!
    "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
    Thomas Jefferson

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by dukalmighty View Post
    Seen It before'but I still try it on my wife from time to time,but she comes out the same everytime....Perfect
    ^^^^^YEP^^^^

    Heard it before, BUT, evrytime I hear it , it brings a smile to my face

    There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
    If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

    Washington didn't use his freedom of speech to defeat the British, He shot them!

    Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy." -- Ernest Benn

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