Quick One-Liners to Brighten Your Day
In a Podiatrist's office
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Septic Tank Truck
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At a Proctologist's door
"To expedite your visit, please back in."
On a Veterinarian and Taxidermist sharing same building:
"Either way, you get your dog back".
On a Plumber's truck
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On another Plumber's truck
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On a Church's Bill board
"Seven days without God makes one weak."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee
"Invite us to your next blowout."
At a Towing company
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an Electrician's truck
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take
On a Maternity Room door
"Push. Push. Push."
At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window
"We really know our stuff."
On a Fence
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
At a Car Dealership
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a Restaurant window
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station
"Thank heaven for little grills."
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"