A Dog Story

This is a discussion on A Dog Story within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Since Tom357 had a little incident with his greyhound I though maybe a funny dog story might cheer him up - as if Gary's decision ...

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Thread: A Dog Story

  1. #1
    VIP Member
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    A Dog Story

    Since Tom357 had a little incident with his greyhound I though maybe a funny dog story might cheer him up - as if Gary's decision to replace his mag pouch didn't.

    A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."

    He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

    "You talk?" he asks.

    "Sure do." the dog replies.

    "So, what's your story?"

    The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

    The owner says, "Ten dollars."

    The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

    "Cause he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!"
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

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    Funny stuff.
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

  4. #3
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    Hehehe --- love that!
    Chris - P95
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    pretty funny

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    Not bad.........
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
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    LoL !
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

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    Senior Member Array tegemu's Avatar
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    A ventriloquist thinking to pull a trick on an old Indian asked him if he could speak to the Indian's dog. The Indian said sure.
    "Hi dog."
    "Hi."
    "Do you like it here?"
    "It's O.K. but you have to work pretty hard and if I'm not careful, they might eat me."

    He then asked to speak to the horse. The Indian said "Help yourself."
    "Hi horse."
    "Howdy."
    "Do you like it here?"
    "Yes, I am well fed and treated with great honor."

    The Indian was quite amazed an impressed.

    The ventriloquist then asked if he could speak with the sheep.
    "Sheep Lie!!!"
    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence in their behalf. - George Orwell

  9. #8
    Member Array kansas_shooter's Avatar
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    The first joke was real good.
    One shot. One kill.

    Primary Carry - Taurus PT-111 Mil Pro 9mm DAO with 12 + 1 in the pipe. Holstered in a Brigade OWB M2.

    Secondary Weapon - Taurus PT1911 5" 45acp SA with 8+1. Holstered in a Kydex paddle.

  10. #9
    Senior Member Array Tom357's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dr_cmg
    Since Tom357 had a little incident with his greyhound I though maybe a funny dog story might cheer him up - as if Gary's decision to replace his mag pouch didn't. ...The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

    "Cause he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!"
    - Tom
    You have the power to donate life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tegemu
    The ventriloquist then asked if he could speak with the sheep.
    "Sheep Lie!!!"
    That's great!
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

  12. #11
    Senior Member Array A1C Lickey's Avatar
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    I really like the second one...
    TSgt. Lickey

    It takes a college degree to break'em;
    and a high school education to fix'em!

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