A Mean Spirited Comment Goes a Long Way

This is a discussion on A Mean Spirited Comment Goes a Long Way within the Old Forum News, Feedback, Problems & Comments forums, part of the DefensiveCarry.com Forum Office category; Here is what we see a lot of and there is no way to control it, so I am just mentioning it. And it is ...

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Thread: A Mean Spirited Comment Goes a Long Way

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array dcb188's Avatar
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    A Mean Spirited Comment Goes a Long Way

    Here is what we see a lot of and there is no way to control it, so I am just mentioning it. And it is only just a few posters, maybe four or so.
    Someone comes on and says they just missed being killed by a tornado etc and a poster comes on and says, something like the following, and it is mean-spirited and unduly critical. Some are downright nasty.
    "SO, let me get this STRAIGHT. You heard SIRENS but foolishlly looked out the WINDOW. Aha. Aha. Maybe you should listen to the sirens next time. NO OFFENSE but it was a stupid thing to do, guy"
    Or a bad guy came around a corner and had eye contact with a good guy and nothing happened.
    OH YEAH, GREAT THINKING NOT TO BE ALERT IN YOUR OWN NEIGHBORHOOD. WAY TO GO. GLAD YOU ARE NOT ON MY FIRE TEAM. LUCKY YOU AIN'T DEAD.
    But you cannot legislate morality of any type, whether in society or on a forum. Cannot be done. But I wanted to mention it because it is annoying. It belittles the original poster and it is mean-spirited, but this is a free country and nothing can be done about the mean-spirited part of it.
    We are 100% free to be nice or nasty ,as we choose. And people died for the right of freedom. But it is a shame that it is more than ever before the case where simply courtesy went the way of common sense, for quite a few folks. End of sermon and now have to climb down off my soapbox :)
    I love the forums and have met a lot of great people on them, the vast vast majority.
    Thanks also to Bumper for the way he runs this forum. Not many could do it with his skill.
    Last edited by dcb188; May 20th, 2008 at 12:50 PM. Reason: add sentence/correct spelling
    Surrounded and outnumbered, Marine Col Lewis Puller: "Good! We finally got 'em where we want 'em!" (Korea, 1950)
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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    True enough but I can tell you this forum is downright polite compared to others on the internet. If you choose to participate in some of the Usenet groups you had better have a thick skin.

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    VIP Member Array matiki's Avatar
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    While I agree... it is also true that this forum is generally more polite than others. Personally, I can get pretty worked up over how people judge each other here, but on other sites it's downright intolerable.
    "Wise people learn when they can; fools learn when they must." - The Duke of Wellington

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    Senior Member Array ICTsnub's Avatar
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    Thanks for saying it, that did not seem like the impression I would want someone to have of this forum on their 10th post. I am 43, and this is the first and only forum I have joined. I am far from prudish, I just don't want to add any heartburn to my leisure time. It's amazing that a community with a population of nearly 20,000 can be so civil.

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    Distinguished Member Array Reborn's Avatar
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    The thing I see is there no tone of voice to go with an email or forum. The same thing happens at work. We are taught to be very short and to the point with email at work this sometimes leads you to believe that people are mad at you. 99.9 % of the time that is not true. I think a lot of the times people are just quick witted and that type the first thing that comes to there mind not really meaning to hurt anyone. I am probably guiltily of that myself. If I ever hurt someone here let me know. I will apologize. Some on the people here are friends on the outside and sometimes there may be a personal joke going on between two people that may be miss interrupted here. My nickels worth but probably only worth 2 cents.
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    Like the old carpenter's saying, "measure twice - cut once" ...... same in a way with text contributions ... "think twice (or more!) and post once".

    there no tone of voice to go with an email or forum
    This very true - and sometimes reading aloud what one has written can better show how many ways it might be interpreted. Add to this a morcel of ''do unto others .... " and also avoid the ''knee-jerk'' posts, where something can be written in haste while fired up ... when a pause to reflect might well mellow a response.
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    B52
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    I just don't let things like that get to me...life is way too short. I am just glad this forum isn't like packing.org, the manners on that forum were horrible.

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    Senior Member Array dcb188's Avatar
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    If we go back to my original post, I didn't say it gets to me or I can't live with it. It is only this: a simple simple true observation of just a few people. And when a new guy comes on, and one of the distinct minority does that, it is sad to see, is my entire point. Just sad, not that I feel like jumping out a window because of it, or think that the forums are bad, just that it is a sad and rather ugly thing to see. I could go in and point to examples but we would be here all day.
    Surrounded and outnumbered, Marine Col Lewis Puller: "Good! We finally got 'em where we want 'em!" (Korea, 1950)
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    Right is Wrong and Wrong is Right.
    __________________________________
    Socrates : "Knowledge is knowing that we know nothing".

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    B52
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    I see your point dcd188, it is rather annoying. I guess you could report them to the moderators, but our Mod's are usually catching the folks with the quickness. I always communicate better in person and probably sometimes **** people off unitentionally in forum responses or short emails. People are all differnent I learned that very much so in bootcamp. What some find as humor other may not, I will try to keep that in mind. Sure is hard to do if you have had a few beers and its 1200am,lol. Take care brother...

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array matiki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dcb188 View Post
    ....I could go in and point to examples but we would be here all day.
    It's not normal to be here all day?

    Maybe my wife has been right all along...
    "Wise people learn when they can; fools learn when they must." - The Duke of Wellington

  12. #11
    Senior Member Array dcb188's Avatar
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    No, I would not report it to the moderators. It is three or four guys tops, out of hundreds. Not a big deal and I did not imply that. Just a little annoying but mostly sad.
    matiki: This place is so addictive I cannot believe it. I PMd Bumper and asked him if there was a Forum Anonymous he could recommend and he said he had not heard of one yet.....funny.....There are so many interesting threads that jumping from one to the other and reading and posting? I feel like quitting my full time job. And it is worse for me because I am basically out of work til July first, first of fiscal year, so I have WAY too much time on my hands.
    But let's reiterate just once------no complaints with the forums. Not worth reporting something to moderators. Let the one who is offended do that.
    Just three or four people but they make their way around the threads and offer up those kinds of comments and I feel like jumping in but count to a thousand instead :)
    But, DOES anyone know of any Internet/Forums Anonymous where I can kick this habit? Or is that program online itself?
    Surrounded and outnumbered, Marine Col Lewis Puller: "Good! We finally got 'em where we want 'em!" (Korea, 1950)
    __________________________________
    Right is Wrong and Wrong is Right.
    __________________________________
    Socrates : "Knowledge is knowing that we know nothing".

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    B52
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    The forum is addictive. My wife is always giving me hell about spending too much time on it. I always tell her at least I am not at the range or buying more guns.

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    Senior Member Array dcb188's Avatar
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    You log on at noontime and you look up and it is six pm and your neck is sore and your fingers are numb and you say what the heck???
    Maybe I will set an alarm clock nearby to go off after two hours and remind me to give it a rest :)
    Surrounded and outnumbered, Marine Col Lewis Puller: "Good! We finally got 'em where we want 'em!" (Korea, 1950)
    __________________________________
    Right is Wrong and Wrong is Right.
    __________________________________
    Socrates : "Knowledge is knowing that we know nothing".

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    Senior Member Array dcb188's Avatar
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    Going back for a second to what some of you said, it is true about this forum or these forums being really civil compared to any others. The credit to that goes to the administrator here, the asst. admin, the moderators, because other forums, as you well know, are wild, and they may or may not have moderators. But no control is evident at all.
    So I fully appreciate that this site is in a class all by itself, and I appreciate that fact. And thanks again to all on here who make it that way.
    I just wish I knew when to leave it and go do some work :)
    Surrounded and outnumbered, Marine Col Lewis Puller: "Good! We finally got 'em where we want 'em!" (Korea, 1950)
    __________________________________
    Right is Wrong and Wrong is Right.
    __________________________________
    Socrates : "Knowledge is knowing that we know nothing".

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    Great thread, good point, and man is this thing addictive.

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