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concerned and need advice

5K views 46 replies 38 participants last post by  LongRider 
#1 ·
I have been open carrying for about a week now. I have open carried to several local stores, no problem at all. Even the local super walmart. No problem at all.. But when I get out in the evening for my walk I have so many men acting like they have never seen a woman before. I was even walking with my son the other evening when a truck slow down with three men in it, they were gauking, pointing and smilling at me. Its a wonder they didn't hit the car in front of them. I had one car with a young male driver drive around the block three times. I guess so he could get a good look. I have been getting that kind of reaction every time I get out when it is just me or me and my son. I dress no differently now than I did before. This does bother and concern me. So I just want to know what everyone's opinion is. What would you do? I have tried walking in different areas. I did walk at the park but I got too much attention.
 
#2 ·
Obviously they are admiring the gun; how dare you flash such a good-looking weapon like that! you know in some states they arrest for such indecent exposures......You go, girl!!!

Seriously, though. I wouldn't worry too much, just make sure you maintain your radar and keep your guard up when carrying like that...
 
#5 ·
I carry a sp101 3". And I pay attention to whats going on arround me more now than I did before. A few months back I never payed attention to what was going on around me. But when you have guys slowing down and pointing while they are driving and trying to break there necks to get a look, I don't think I am imagining that.
 
#4 ·
Maybe it's the neon sign pointing at the gun that gets their attention! J/K

What position do you carry in, 3:00, 3:30 4:00? You might want to try varying your carry position to maybe hide the gun a little more.
 
#7 ·
I'm going to go out on a limb, here.

It may be that they were just gawking. But, there may be insidious folks, who think that a woman is easy prey and that the gun may just be a bonus.

I'm just sayin'. The way men think isn't pretty.
 
#9 ·
It's obviously the gun. If, as you say, that behavior did not happen to you prior to wearing your gun exposed, then you know why they are doing that.

I'm not bashing open carry in the least. I say Go For It, if that's your thing. I think open carry is great.

But we all know just how large the herd of sheep are and we all know that their fears are based on irrational beliefs and myths about guns. But it is what it is. When you make the herd feel uncomfortable, you can't act like you don't know why they are uncomfortable when you know full well what the reason is.

You must either accept it or tuck the gun away, but you're not going to change their perspective of people carrying guns... at least on a large scale.

TN_Mike does a great job at being an advocate for open carry and has a had lots of success getting the sheep to feel at ease through educating them. But I believe even he knows there's gonna be people who are just going to gawk and never get it.
 
#11 ·
Not trying to be a smart alec, but if you carry at 3:00, arms down by your side, its probably not the weapon attracting attention as it would only be intermittently visible due to your arm covering it. (Its a good habit to cover the butt with your arm/elbow as much as possible to deter grab attempts) You did not mention holster type, but I will venture its not IWB as all my wimminfolk find that carry uncomfortable, especially @ 3:00.
 
#12 ·
Good for you. You're much safer with OC, don't worry about extra attention. My research shows OC does NOT make you a target per se. The only documented case I could find of an OC'r being specifically targeted by BG's is back in 2006: Fairfax County Office of Public Affairs A related newspaper article mentioned the guy was out walking his dog; he apparently needs to get a bigger dog.

The most noteworthy thing is that this is the ONLY case I've found and it is 4 YEARS AGO. I now believe that OC is an effective deterrent with no real downside. I OC pretty much everywhere, and CC only in rare special circumstances.
 
#13 ·
Go concealed and see if you get the same reactions. That will answer your question.
 
#15 ·
I have been open carrying for about a week now. I have open carried to several local stores, no problem at all. Even the local super walmart. No problem at all.. But when I get out in the evening for my walk I have so many men acting like they have never seen a woman before. I was even walking with my son the other evening when a truck slow down with three men in it, they were gauking, pointing and smilling at me. Its a wonder they didn't hit the car in front of them. I had one car with a young male driver drive around the block three times. I guess so he could get a good look. I have been getting that kind of reaction every time I get out when it is just me or me and my son. I dress no differently now than I did before. This does bother and concern me. So I just want to know what everyone's opinion is. What would you do? I have tried walking in different areas. I did walk at the park but I got too much attention.
This may sound kinda stupid, but what color are your clothes and what color is the holster/gun? You may be making it extra visible, and a black gun on black clothing will jump a lot less than many other combinations. Which if it's men amazed at the sight of a woman with a gun, the darker colors and less contrast will let them continue down the road without second thought.

If someone is circling the block three times I'd be extremely concerned, to the point at the very minimum I'd be picking up the cell, calling for a ride to come get me (I can finish walking the dog in another neighbor hood, just because you're armed doesn't mean you should take steps to avoid confrontation); and calling the local PD non emergency number and give the vehicle description and address, so that if I wasn't the cause and this car was up to no good, they'd be more likely to keep an eye on the area. And there's nothing to say he's not parking around the corner and deciding to try and sneak up on you from behind, so keep that head on a 360 swivel.

I don't know about VA, but this past week or so was the first around here with decent weather so it may just be people rolling down the windows slowing down and enjoying the weather on the drive home. And your increased situational awareness could just be making you more aware of heads turning.

I'd say trust your intuition, if a situation doesn't feel right, start taking steps to remove yourself from the situation ASAP, as it's better to heir on the side of caution.
 
#16 ·
Can you keep your strong side away from the road? Just a thought. Walk the other direction to do it if you have to, or if you can.
 
#19 ·
Well it could be lots of reasons. I have a feeling that some of the gawking might have been happening before if you're easy on the eyes, but now you're noticing it more because your SA is higher. There's probably some truth that the guys are looking more too. For many men, ladies+guns=amazing.
 
#20 ·
I'm thinking it was you they were looking at and you just didn't notice the gawking before unless it was up close and personal (creepy). I've had more than one woman tell me they do feel watched, one even used the name of a local pet adoption show, 'Pets on Parade'.

If you're attractive, and dress the part guys will notice. Trust me, I'm a preacher and a guy and I still notice. That's how we are wired. If you want to try an experiment just to satisfy your curiosity, try dressing down.

Not too far down, just get away from the form fitting clothing for a day or two. Wear something loose fitting that covers more of you up and see if the gawking slows down (chances are it will never stop).

If you're carrying an SP101 3" at 3:00 dark on dark, I'm thinking the pistol will go largely unnoticed.

Just my .02

Holdcard
 
#21 ·
Same person/vehicle three times around the block? I'd be on the phone to the Police as soon as I saw him the third time.

He could be just admiring the scenery or he could be planning a confrontation. To quote Frank Readick Jr, the announcer for The Shadow ...

"Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men ..."
 
#25 ·
Tonight I went for my walk in the same place I had been and I dressed with blue jeans, and a white hoodie type jacket but made of material more like nylon. I carried very well concealed my husbands Ruger LCR and I still got two or three more than casual looks. I had my 6 year old son walking with me.

Maybe it's just me and I've never notice til now. Since my SA is up more, now maybe I'm just now noticing the lookers.
 
#39 ·
Go for another walk. This time, have a friend video tape you, from a parked car..... as you approach them, and as you are going away. Have a look at the tape, and you'll see what others see. Most important, you'll see if you are in fact presenting the image that you want to present.
 
#26 ·
But when I get out in the evening for my walk I have so many men acting like they have never seen a woman before.

I have been getting that kind of reaction every time I get out when it is just me or me and my son. I dress no differently now than I did before.

This does bother and concern me.
It would bother me, as well. The key is: you don't know if it's absolutely benign, or a precursor. I'm of the opinion that with the wrong person having that feeling it could definitely be a precursor.

When you're out walking with your S.O., I am assuming the added attention doesn't occur. There's your answer right there, about whether you should be concerned.

Guessing here: Strictly males ... strictly gawking, with occasional following ... getting worse when there are two or three of them together. If this is how it goes, imagine how far it could go if you take it to the logical conclusion.

Caution. Eyes open, when you're out like that.

If this were the reaction I got, I would ensure to never be out walking without another armed person, be it the S.O. or a friend or two. 25yrs ago, I might have thought differently, but the our culture has changed for the worse. Our culture has spawned a couple generations of largely amoral predators who believe in the mantra "Me First, At the Expense of Everyone Else."

It has become quite dangerous to be caught out and about, alone and apparently a worthy target. I realize that you're armed. But that isn't stopping the gawking and following. Stay on the path. Go in in groups of two or more. I'd stick to the neighborhoods, and I'd start making it a point of getting to know everyone along those streets.

Like you, I wouldn't give up my lifestyle, my walks, my enjoyment of life. But that means taking a few extra precautions in order to ensure security, such as one or two elements from the above list of possibilities.
 
#27 ·
Men like a certain degree of assertiveness and confidence in women. A pistol on display certainly gives that impression.
OC does draw peoples attention. It is out of the ordinary, especially for a woman. Anything out of the ordinary draws attention.
 
#28 ·
It's spring time! Everybody is out and about more. I have the feeling that your an attractive woman. You mentioned your SA being higher now. You are now noticing peoples actions much more than you ever have. I bet you've been gawked at many times in the past, but you were oblivious to it. So now while carrying a firearm your watching everything around you and your seeing the horndogs that will stare at a pretty girl. Even if they are with their husbands /SO and child.
 
#33 ·
Most of the noted attention is doubtless complimentary. There are two reasons not yet mentioned.

My wife and I try to assess the type of weapon (model, caliber) in TV shows (HD is so much better for that), when at the range, and when we meet an armed officer (FL doesn't allow OC). So it may be gun envy.

Sadly, these days there may be another reason men spend extra time looking: Woman walking with child--armed. Keep an eye on them, is the child comfortable with her or could this be a kid (who is terrified of guns) being abducted?
 
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