Single guys, question about the approach to women

[guardmt]

Here in Montana the girl would prob come right up to you without you coming to her and grab your gun by the grip and ask you your name, then if things go well she will ask to see your truck

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[canav844]

Carry a rilfe over your shoulder and use the pick-up line "I'm compensating"....oh wait maybe that's too much confidence.

Simple, Honest, Gentleman; nothing more nothing less the rest will just happen.

As was said it's no different than being responsible for your seatbelt or phone, if you OC it'll be the white elephant, but that can very easily go either way, and if you go onto a soliloquy about the 2A and your rights and anti sheep you'll be out of breath and alone, so think about your response, don't make it rehearsed, but know what you're going to say if asked; if it shows your maturity, it will likely lead to a positive outcome with those worthwhile.

[Spec]

I am single & believe that the majority of women, would be turned off by it. I wouldn't carry while " looking ."

Umm this i DISagree with completely, not just on the security issues, but I would rather turn off a 100 women, and find the one that is okay or turned on by it, and takes interest in it. (<- that is alot easier than trying to convert them later trust me.)

[goldshellback]

My sidearms had been a part of my 'ensamble' for quite some time before meeting, and eventually marrying, my wife. Every woman who had anything to do with me, friendships, romantic involvment, whatever, knew from the start, or found out very quickly, that I carried. Most didn't seemed bothered, A few dispised it, and a couple went on to get thier own guns and CCL's.

My carrying was not a big deal, it was just something I did. I never was, or acted, the idiot, treated all respectfully, and did whatever without any 'drama'.

People, including single women, will see your carrying as a part of your 'whole package'. Make it a good, responsable, and fun 'package' and the women will want to be a part of it....or at least not bothered by carrying part of your 'whole package'.

Good luck!

[Lewis128]

You get points for trying.

You have no idea how frustrating it is to be her. Jerks are drawn like moths to a flame and nice guys keep away in droves.

She's in a relationship, and I hope this one works out.

That's because jerks are only interested in the next "score". Something to brag to coworkers about on Monday.
Decent guys aren't "keeping away in droves". They're more likely put off by the fact that attractive women, heck, ALL women, can't seem to get enough of the jerks.
The guy at work who used to point out women and tell the other guys "been there, done that" was the same guy every woman in the place seemed to think was just wonderful.
At the same time, we know jerks will keep coming around where they've been successful. And what does that IMPLY about the woman?
Tell her to keep the womanizers and other riff-raff away, at gun-point if need be, and decent guys will start coming around.

[gglovesguns]

Hey, im wondering how to best approach a woman while OC'ing, I'm afraid the gun would just scare them off. Is there a way to stand, do you mention it, or just approach normally? This is something thats really been on my mind lately

As a new female shooter, I can think back to just under a year ago when I hadn't shot/carried a gun and didn't know anyone who had. If an OCing guy approached me, I would've been okay with it provided two things:

1. Attitude.
Many posters have already brought this one up, but smile; be kind, gentle and polite; use your manners;etc.

2. Context.
Am I in an approachable place? Well-lit public place vs. dark parking lot. AND are you not scary looking/acting? Generally clean and well-dressed, not wearing a murder/rape joke t-shirt, not fiddling with your holster, not approaching me from the side or behind and/or following me. If yes, then proceed.

[guardmt]

As a new female shooter, I can think back to just under a year ago when I hadn't shot/carried a gun and didn't know anyone who had. If an OCing guy approached me, I would've been okay with it provided two things:

1. Attitude.
Many posters have already brought this one up, but smile; be kind, gentle and polite; use your manners;etc.

2. Context.
Am I in an approachable place? Well-lit public place vs. dark parking lot. AND are you not scary looking/acting? Generally clean and well-dressed, not wearing a murder/rape joke t-shirt, not fiddling with your holster, not approaching me from the side or behind and/or following me. If yes, then proceed.

Huh...So thats why they always end up pepperspraying me and running away calling 911

[Bark'n]

Here's the only advice I know...

Be yourself. That's it. Just be yourself.

If they have a problem with the gun... do not proceed any further, move on to the next one.

If you try to be someone you're not to "get a date," it isn't going to work out in the long run.

If, you're the "Gecko .45 type", you'll likely not get many takers but one will come along one day and be all impressed. If you're not a "Gecko .45" type but just carry a gun like you wear a pair of socks, you'll likely find more women who will not have a problem with the gun, but the bottom line is, whoever you are and whatever your personality is, be that person.

Trying to be someone you're not is a "no go" for most relationships.

btw... I would say gglovesguns knows a bit about what she is talking about! Good advice.

[1911PKR]

Here's the only advice I know...


If, you're the "Gecko .45 type", you'll likely not get many takers but one will come along one day and be all impressed.

Don't believe it... She said, "size DOES matter!"

[pinklady]

IMO you should be yourself. You will find the right girl. In some cases you carrying might run a girl off, but there are some who like the fact that there man carries a gun. I know that I like that my husband carries, first off I feel safe when we are out. Most of the time I OC and he CC. I guess I was lucky, we share alot of the same likes and dislikes. But I am different than most women I guess. Just be patient and be yourself.

[Jason Storm]

I go by what "Bark'n" says. If a woman can't accept me for who I am, then too bad for her. I am not gonna let some skirt dictate to me that I can't carry a gun. Right now, I don't have to worry about it since I am in a long term relationship with a very supportive and understanding woman.

[120mm]

That's because jerks are only interested in the next "score". Something to brag to coworkers about on Monday.
Decent guys aren't "keeping away in droves". They're more likely put off by the fact that attractive women, heck, ALL women, can't seem to get enough of the jerks.
The guy at work who used to point out women and tell the other guys "been there, done that" was the same guy every woman in the place seemed to think was just wonderful.
At the same time, we know jerks will keep coming around where they've been successful. And what does that IMPLY about the woman?
Tell her to keep the womanizers and other riff-raff away, at gun-point if need be, and decent guys will start coming around.

There are many things that turn a woman off. One of them is "short man's syndrome". Blaming one's own inadequacies on others (i.e. jerks) is no excuse.

Oddly enough, I see your point, but think you're wrong. A little self-confidence works wonders. Putting this all on the female shows you lack mindset. And confidence.

Seriously. You can be a nice guy and be attractive to women. Really, you can. But first you need to ditch the victim stance. I think you need a good platonic female friend to walk you through some of this. I know it worked wonders for me.

[friesepferd]

+1 for the looking halfway decent as well. not sure what you look like obviously, but it really does help to be halfway well dressed.
i dont mean like metro-, or to wear a suit, but just have on clean clothes that fit you correctly. be showered and shaven (stubble and even beard and such is fine, just have it cleaned up so it looks like it is meant to be that way).

[Lewis128]

There are many things that turn a woman off. One of them is "short man's syndrome". Blaming one's own inadequacies on others (i.e. jerks) is no excuse.

Oddly enough, I see your point, but think you're wrong. A little self-confidence works wonders. Putting this all on the female shows you lack mindset. And confidence.

Seriously. You can be a nice guy and be attractive to women. Really, you can. But first you need to ditch the victim stance. I think you need a good platonic female friend to walk you through some of this. I know it worked wonders for me.

You're making a lot of assumptions about me.
The "been there, done that" guy is an actual guy. I could give you his name if it would make a difference.
My point was that guys like that spend ALL available energy on manipulating women into bed. The women they manipulate become jaded and eventually assume all men are like that.
My ex was like that. She started "waiting for the other shoe to drop" as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. Long story short, that attitude tore us apart.
I'm well aware decent guys can be attractive to women. I have 3 sisters, two of whom married great guys, and a younger brother who's happily married. He's also a great guy.

[120mm]

You're making a lot of assumptions about me.
The "been there, done that" guy is an actual guy. I could give you his name if it would make a difference.
My point was that guys like that spend ALL available energy on manipulating women into bed. The women they manipulate become jaded and eventually assume all men are like that.
My ex was like that. She started "waiting for the other shoe to drop" as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. Long story short, that attitude tore us apart.
I'm well aware decent guys can be attractive to women. I have 3 sisters, two of whom married great guys, and a younger brother who's happily married. He's also a great guy.

Yup to making assumptions. Have to based on the medium of internet forum.

However, I quit being so concerned about what "bad guys" do. I called it "growing up". You know, since I've become more concerned with what "I" do, I hardly notice the bad guys anymore.