My Father

This is a discussion on My Father within the Open Carry Issues & Discussions forums, part of the Defensive Carry Discussions category; The visit was terrible. He has no social skills unless youre an investor, he makes stupid political comments on everything and questioned my parenting skills ...

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  1. #16
    Member Array tricolordad's Avatar
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    The visit was terrible. He has no social skills unless youre an investor, he makes stupid political comments on everything and questioned my parenting skills which is just sad. I wasnt going to post about him but he deserves it. Even turned my best friend against me before he died 5 years ago.

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  3. #17
    Member Array Ionracas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tricolordad View Post
    The visit was terrible. He has no social skills unless youre an investor, he makes stupid political comments on everything and questioned my parenting skills which is just sad. I wasnt going to post about him but he deserves it. Even turned my best friend against me before he died 5 years ago.
    I can relate to your experiences and dispite the anonamity of the internet give you credit for talking. Only a couple people in my life know the truth of my past.

    Use it to be the best man, father and husband you can be. Take pride in everything you do and unless your truley wrong, dont let anyone tell yku you are wrong.

    I got an earfull from my childhod tormentor (my mother) last week about gun control. She dosnt even know what shes talking about half the time. Never had an original thought in her life and when she repeats what others have said she she dosnt even know what it means.

    Here is something that might lighten the mood. When I bought my Glock 23 my mother actualy quoted Diehard 2, is that a "Glock 7 a porclean gun made in Germany that dosnt show up on airport metal detectors." The only truth to that quote in its full form is that it is worth more than I make in a week.
    "The thing about quotes on the internet is that you can not confirm their validity."
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    "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky. dangerous animals."
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  4. #18
    Member Array Ionracas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    Excuse me for being blunt but that is my nature. Why the hell do you even maintain a relationship with someone who seems mentally unstable and in fact violently dangerous? Why go visit? Why have that in your life at all? Why have it around your children in any way?

    Distance yourself and your family from this person. He isn't a good influence. He could only be a bad influence on your children and a burden on your mental health.
    I cant and wont speak for the OP but I will say from my own experiences that its not easy. I have shut out my entire family except for the one that hurt me the most. I dont know why and cant even begin to explain it. Ive watched my wife do the same with her own tormentors, remain close to them.
    "The thing about quotes on the internet is that you can not confirm their validity."
    -Abraham Lincoln

    "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky. dangerous animals."
    -Agent K

  5. #19
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    Hearing your sad story makes me understand how blessed I am to have the parents I had. I miss them both every day but know they're safe in the arms of Jesus of whom they taught me about.
    GeorgiaDawg and scgunlover1 like this.
    Glenn

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  6. #20
    Senior Member Array GeorgiaDawg's Avatar
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    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I would pity him rather than show animosity towards him. He sounds like a pathetic human being and I would hope that he would repent of his ways and learn to love you as he ought to. For you, though, there's not much you can do but try to remain civil and respectful to the best of your ability. He's obviously still a part of your life since you visit him, so I think you should just keep doing what you believe is right and try not to push it with him. If he wants to drive you and your children away, that's something he'll have to live with, but you can only control what you do.

    He's probably never going to change his opinion on firearms, so I would just leave it alone. If it comes up again, you could say that you'd love to talk about it with him if he wants to discuss it, but if he's just going to lecture or criticize and not listen, then it would be better to remain silent or talk about something else. You keep carrying in case you need to defend yourself, your children, or even your father. You do the right thing and don't worry about what he says. Keep on keepin' on.
    scgunlover1 likes this.
    "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast." - Ephesians 2:8-9

    “The purpose of the law is not to prevent a future offense, but to punish the one actually committed” - Ayn Rand

  7. #21
    VIP Member Array oakchas's Avatar
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    Tricolor...

    "It's not your fault."

    I know, that's a movie line. Regardless. It's true.

    Move on. And do not expose your children to him.
    Politicians, take note of Colorado 9/10/2013.
    "You are elected to service, not power.
    Your job is to "serve us" not to lord power over us."
    Me, 9/11/13

  8. #22
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tricolordad View Post
    The visit was terrible. He has no social skills unless youre an investor, he makes stupid political comments on everything and questioned my parenting skills which is just sad. I wasnt going to post about him but he deserves it. Even turned my best friend against me before he died 5 years ago.
    Good God man, how many more examples are there that you have not related to us of him being despicable to you in various mentally damaging ways? Why put yourself through this? He is your father yes but even then, there should come a point in every well developed persons mental maturity where they say enough is enough and cut the offending, mentally cancerous, person out of their life. For your sake but above all else, for the sake of your children, cut this malignant "person" out of your lives before he becomes a detriment to the emotional well being of your children. He has shown that he is a mentally sadistic personality.
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  9. #23
    Ex Member Array LaDanah26's Avatar
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    I mean no offense when I say this, but your "father" is a poor excuse for a human being. How could he possibly treat a CHILD that way? You have EVERY right to own a firearm, and he has no right to tell you not to. He was completely irresponsible, and he still sounds like he has no idea what he's talking about. He's a lucky man on two accounts 1.) You're still speaking to him 2.) You own a firearm and he's never been your target. If it were me, I would be heading as far in the other direction as possible, not only for myself, but for my children. I'm so glad you've learned from his lack of parenting. All you can do is be the father to your children that he failed so miserably to be for you. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that... Best wishes!

  10. #24
    Member Array mcbridebr's Avatar
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    My dad never really taught me about firearms either. The extent I had with my dad was when he would get drunk and take me out to shoot at beer cans with a Ruger Mini 30.

    Anyways, my son is 3 now. You better believe I am going to raise him knowing how to use and treat a firearm.

  11. #25
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    I can relate. I grew up with an abusive father who only came home on my mother's pay day to take all her money and beat us all. That ended when he was sent overseas with the military. I remember wishing he'd never come back alive.

    He also wasn't the person who taught me how to shoot. A close friend of the family was my father figure and was the one who taught me how to shoot after school and on the weekends.
    "Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God." - Benjamin Franklin

    "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

  12. #26
    Member Array Grantspastor's Avatar
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    I'm sorry you have a Father that has behaved so poorly and painfully all your life. There is no pain like that which is caused by rejection and abuse from the one who should have loved you the most

    You now can break that cycle with your own children, and raise them with wonderful memories of you as a Father

  13. #27
    VIP Member Array BigJon10125's Avatar
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    Do right with your kids, and be the best dad that you never had. You kicked his butt that bad at 8? Nicely done! How you handle him is your decision. I would not have him in my life, especially around my children. Best of luck, stay safe.
    BigJon


    "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt" ~ Mark Twain

  14. #28
    Member Array FLArmadillo's Avatar
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    I heard in a movie or on a show once from a judge to a father who was pressing charges on or suing his son:

    Judge: "What does every b@st@rd who ever lived have in common?"
    Father: ...silence...
    Judge: "His father was a b@st@rd who failed to break the cycle."

    I've been lucky, I can't imagine my dad being like that.

    Sounds like you'll do fine, I'll refrain from trying to give advice.
    As we used to teach in the spook business, carry a 25 if it makes you feel good, but do not ever load it. If you load it you may shoot it. If you shoot it you may hit somebody, and if you hit somebody - and he finds out about it - he may be very angry with you. -- Jeff Cooper

  15. #29
    Member Array paching's Avatar
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    Just tell him when you want his opinion you'll ask for it, otherwise he can save it and be the man he never was.
    Why?? Because at the last second, the Police are minutes away.

  16. #30
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tricolordad View Post
    How do I deal with this idiot?
    Ignore him. Stay away from him. Do what you need to ensure he's not a part of your life. His slow, grinding walk toward death and the nature of that walk are of concern to him. None of it seems to be of concern to you. At best, having anything to do with him seems to be a damaging and potentially debilitating element in your life. There doesn't seem to be much value in maintaining any knowledge of him, in your daily life. Await notification from his estate's attorney, and be done with it. Probably about the best thing for you, if it's all as bad as you say.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

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