"Applying 2nd Amendment restrictions to the 1st Amendment ;-)"

-courtesy VCDL update:

Quote:

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Gun Control is a stupid idea that is harmful to public safety. We
received an email suggesting that we use the same gun-control 'logic'
for the 1st Amendment:

* You may speak no more than ten words without pausing for thirty
seconds so as not to have 'assault speech.'

* You may speak no more than one word per second to keep from
spraying ideas all over a room.

* Your mouth must be taped shut when in a theater in case you decide
to yell, "fire!"

* When in a restaurant that serves alcohol, you must pin a paper on
your chest with your political beliefs so that those beliefs are not
concealed

* If you have secret beliefs not told to everyone around you, you
must have a permit to keep such information concealed

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:rofl:

In CA, MA and IL you may not speak at all.

If you ever defend yourself with words be sure that you do not over penetrate and accidently speak to someone stood behind the BG.

children should have locks on their mouths to prevent them from accidentially speaking

* You must store any writings you have made that contain your beliefs in a safe that has been approved by the police, separate from any pens or other writing implements, and you must allow periodic warrantless searches by the police to confirm that you are storing your writings in compliance with the law.

* You may not purchase or possess any writing implement that contains enough ink or graphite to write more than ten pages consecutively before exhausting its supply. You may, however, possess an unlimited number of replacement ink cartridges for your pen; an unlimited number of pens; and an unlimited supply of pencils, or graphite replacements in the case of mechanical pencils.


Hey, I just thought of it... I could have a career writing stupid laws! :image035:

Here's me: :banned:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by azchevy

children should have locks on their mouths to prevent them from accidentially speaking

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Actually...

...may be onto something here. :image035:

There should be a background check and a 5 day waiting period before you are able to purchase any writting-related instrument, from pencils to word procesing software.

Also, to carry any of the above items, you should apply for a carry permit with your local LEO. This issuance of this permit can be denied by the local LEO without any reason.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by peacefuljeffrey

*Hey, I just thought of it... I could have a career writing stupid laws! :image035:

Here's me: :banned:

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Isn't Washington already filled with people like that? :18:


Also remember that attachments such as oversized erasers on pencils are outlawed, they would look too evil.

Modern interpretation and application must not be applied to the freedoms of speech thus the use of computers to write is expressly forbidden. Use of anything other than a writing quill and bottled ink is against the law.

Citizens may only write if they are members of a government regulated writing militia.

Every mouth must imprint the words spewing forth so that forensic evidence can prove from whom the offending words were spoken.....

Every mouth must have multiple devices, other than the brain, to prevent accidental discharges........

Hi capacity dictionaries are to be banned. Vocabulary is to be limited to no more than 1,000 words.

Words over 9 letters will require a special $200 tax stamp to be aquired for their use.

Excessive shortening of words below the permitted limit (abreviation) will require a AOW (any other word) designation - also requiring a tax stamp.

If your mouth is opened more than .5" when speaking it will be considered a Destructive Device.

Whispering is not allowed or is heavily taxed by the BATFE (Bureau of Assaultive Talk and French Expletives).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 4my son

Isn't Washington already filled with people like that? :18:


Also remember that attachments such as oversized erasers on pencils are outlawed, they would look too evil.

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Erasers on pencils are tantamount to silencers on handguns -- they allow you to do evil and be undetected, so they must be banned.

You may not speak your views or carry any written ideas or thoughts or any writing utensils on government or school property.

Wow! This thread is getting positively Orwellian! Kind of like Afghanistan a few years back......