The Remington 158gr softnose round will work well in the self defense mode. It would be the factory load I would use facing your restrictions.
You could mold up some Keith SWC hollowpoints out of 20 to 1 lead tin mix. This will expand and you can drive it faster than a jacketed bullet.
You can even go to 25 to 1, but leading might become a problem.
Lead hollowpoints work best if cast with out antimony (wheel weights). The pure lead/tin mixes remain ductile and do not shatter when expanding. The lead/tin/antimony mixes are brittle.
This web site has a lot of info on lead bullets. A man name Mihec is making wonderful Cramer Conversion molds for casting hollowpoints. He is in eastern europe.
Cast Boolits - Dedicated To The World Of Cast Bullets!
You are not at a disadvantage because of your laws, the cast bullet can deliver better speed for the same pressure and equal expansion. You just have to develope a load for your particular revolver, and learn how to cast, size, lube and load them.
Good luck.