You need a good whuppin' stick.
Seriously I'd like to take a moment to introduce you all to one of the best values in self defense, a dirt cheap, rugged, and very effective implement that almost anyone can use and afford. Best of all it blends into the background of life so well.
http://www.newtlivesay.com/NL_WA-1.htm
I submit the Newt Livesay WA-1 stick. I own five of them, all stashed in strategic places.
Doesn't look like much, does it? No it does not. And that is the beauty of it.
Unlike a sjambok (a very nasty tool) or your assorted martial arts implements, the Wa-1 does not scream "PAIN" and "ANGUSIH". It can be used effectively by anyone even if you don't have an extensive background in such things.
I carry one out and about often and keep one in my vehicle. For a time I was without a handgun and I'm still without a permit. The WA-1 fills a niche in my personal self defense solution.