You know, your wife might actually like that part about you carrying...
Honestly, I used to have the same problems when I had a sizable love handles as well. I actually quit IWB carrying for a couple of years and then after losing 60 lbs I found that it wasn't a problem anymore.
That being said, if getting rid of the love handles is not an option, then consider other suggestions like the suspenders or maybe a different belt.
You may also want to try a different style of jeans. I have found that that makes a difference for me even today. Levis carpenter jeans work great for me for IWB carry. And the side leg pocket is a great place to stash a spare mag too.