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There are a lot of people who are still alive today because they took action when they sensed something was wrong. With your situation where you have 2 or more people in the house and you come in at different times of the night, it is paramount that you identify your target before you fire.
In your second story, where the wife was 'due to be home soon', I don't know how many times my wife has changed her plans and been home when I did not expect it. 99% of the time there is going to be normal explanation for any abnormal noise you hear. You have to balance it so you are ready for that 1% and do not cause a tragedy during the other 99% of the time.
I would not call you paranoid. I would call you prepared, and maybe a little anxious with a wife and new son to protect. Instinctively coming to a crouch/low ready is nothing to be concerned or worried about.
On the other hand, if by instinct you came to low ready, took safety off, and had your finger on the trigger, then that could easily result in a tragedy.
Being prepared is not being paranoid, and even if it was, paranoid people are right some of the time.
Stay safe out there!
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