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Paranoid? Maybe but then again that could keep you alive! As others have said; know where you wife is; in both situations you appear to have done this --- I would suggest that in situation two you make certain that she had not simple arrive "a few moments" before you and was in the bedroom. Then again she could simply call you to allow you to know she is there and if it is like my home I know she is home cause the van is not home!!
Get a dog that will alert you to unwelcome/welcome visitors --- I have lost that at night our new mutt does not bark much; she will alert to things if she is out of her kennel/pet carry. Our old lab mutt would let me know if any one was around --- she wanted to greet them in a friendly way but I know if you had pulled in my drive or were around my house. When money and time are not so tight I need to get a yard dog/larger dog.
As for "when your son get old enough to tried to slip in or out" I will bet the first time Dad meets him with a load gun at the ready it will be the first and last time he "slips in or out". I will also bet his pants will need changed for the first time in years!!
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