Thumper

When I saw the title of this thread I thought, "only if you want to get popped in the jaw"!

I am married to the most wonderful woman but... any time I try to tell my wife about a "plan", she rolls her eyes and just pretends to listen... she hates it that I carry and makes a point to let me know it often.

Some of you fellas are darn fortunate I tell ya!

__________________
ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

SIXTO

If thats the case, SHOVE if you have too. Your about to shoot someone, who cares if you have to shove to save somebody?

__________________
In a land of sheep, even a toothless wolf is king.

Wake Up! The zombie invasion has begun years ago.

pax

Have you tried asking rather than telling?

pax

__________________
Managing Editor of Concealed Carry Magazine
My website: Cornered Cat

Thumper

Oh yes... after 36 years, I have been well trained! Besides, it's kinda hard to "ask" someone your intentions.

Seriously, it's a long story Pax. She simply HATES me carrying, or anyone who carries but thanks!

__________________
ALWAYS carry! - NEVER tell!

TexasAg

The following is my tactical plan for my wife and I:

I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18″ bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and “catch the rounds” [wearing body armor] while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire.

Miggy

As with everthing, training is the key. My wife and I lived in a bad country for almost a decade and we are tuned to each other if anyone of us detects something suspicious. If we are walking, we ususlly hold hands so the danger signal is 3 quick squeezes followed by location & description of the target without missing a stride. If we are not in contact with each other (as in a store. She is browsing and I am waiting or viceversa) we use a quick "Hey Babe" to call attention and the we just look at each other's eye, whoever saw the threat, is looking at it and the other just follows the "path"
It takes time and the effort to know the body language and intonation of your mate. For us is so second nature detecting the very slight chance in voice tonality or the way we are looking at each other that we could be with somebody else and they don't catch on.
Then again I married that woman 21+ years ago and I can tell 3 blocks from the house that she is mad and I am going to spend the night in the porch fending off mosquitoes and the schizo possum that lives under it.

__________________
You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
Randy Cain.

GunFreeZone.net

pax

Good point! And evidence that I didn't explain very well. (I was in a hurry ...)

After 36 years of marriage, you probably already know this little technique. But for the benefit of the young folks who don't (and to redeem myself from sounding like a complete moron ...), here's what I meant by asking rather than telling.


A Play in Who-knows-how-many Acts

Scene: a cozy living room. Dinner has been consumed, the house is quiet. You and your beloved are watching the evening news together.

Participants:

• Talking Head, a pretty face on the TV
• Armed Spouse (probably male)
• Unarmed Spouse (probably female)

Talking Head: "... and in other news, a woman reports she was attacked by a purse-snatcher who attempted to force her into his car as she exited the mall at blah blah blah blah."

Commercial break.

Armed Spouse (AS): "Wow, did you hear that last bit of news, about the woman whose purse got snatched? I wonder how she got away."

Unarmed Spouse (US): "..." (some silly conjecture.)

AS: (Manfully resists temptation, changes subject, and talks about something else.)




{Next night; same scene}

TH: "... and in other news, there was a church shooting in Colorado today blah blah blah."

Commercial Break.

AS: "Wow, what a tragedy about the folks at that church. I wonder how the people with little children got away?"

US: "..." (some silly idea)

AS: (Resists temptation; changes subject.)




{Three nights later; same scene}

TH: "... and in other news, tonight a local man was assaulted by a homeless man at the car wash at the cornered of First and Main. The man is in the hospital with critical injuries, and authorities blah blah blah blah."

Commercial break.

US: "Wow, I wonder what that guy could have done to get away."

AS: "They didn't say, did they. Hmm. What do you think he should have done?"

US: "..." (some silly idea)

AS: (Resists temptation and changes subject)


Offstage: lather, rinse, repeat. As many times as necessary!



{six months later, same scene}

TH: "... and in other news--"

US: "Honey, what would you have done?" (or, "How could we cope with ...?" or "What do you think about ...?")

AS: "Well, you know, I've been thinking about that for awhile. Do you think we should go over some plans for things we could do, just in case?"

US: (Actually listens, because she asked the question and wanted to know the answer.)



{Scene: far, far away from Unarmed Spouse:}

AS: "Wooo hooo!!"

-- The End. --



Obviously, the most important key is to wait until she asks. She will, eventually, if she has any degree at all of normal human curiosity. But if you've been beating the defense drum very long, it might take awhile. And it might take awhile after that before she's willing to do anything about it. But if you use this technique, or a variant of it, she is far more likely to be a committed team member than she would be if you just told her how it was going to be.

Ask, don't tell.

pax

__________________
Managing Editor of Concealed Carry Magazine
My website: Cornered Cat

Hopyard

This business about having a "tactical plan" applies to a variety of situations besides dealing with B.Gs.

Any plan must take into account the ability, likely reactions, and health of your spouse.

We came across a really really bad highway traffic accident the other day. Though I would have liked to stop and help, I knew that if I told my wife to get out of the car and run 200 feet up the embankment to a place where she'd be safe from a secondary collision, she would not move. She'd want to see what is going on.

It is hard enough to predict your own reactions in a crisis, let alone predict and/or control those of a spouse who by nature is almost certainly going to make the wrong move. Please, don't misunderstand, I'm not bashing her. I'm just pointing out that some folks don't have the particular mind set needed to plan for, or even think about, what they would do in a crisis. When we have a responsibility to take care of them, we need to take their likely actions into consideration.

If, in the scenario initially discussed here I shoved my wife, the likely response would be that she would start screaming on the top of her lungs and pay no attention to what is going down with the BG. For me, this means situational awareness and avoiding trouble are paramount.

TexasAg

You're in College Station. Just yell something about the ACLU and Osama and watch the lead start flying

Echo_Four

I'm sorry, but we're trying way too hard to be politically correct here. In honesty, if this ever actually matters it is an honest to God life or death situation. You don't get a second chance, there are no "do overs".

Pax, you lay out a nice scenario. I am sure it is very effective and is a proven method. But, let's change is up just little.

Talking Head: there was a shooting at a mall in Omaha.... Stay tuned for your local Colorado Springs weather coming up.
During commercial
ASWow that is terrible, what would you do in that situation?
US Makes a silly comment
ASAvoids temptation

The next day they're sitting in church when a man comes in with a rifle, shotgun, and two handguns. The Armed Spouse yells at the Unarmed Spouse to get down. US is confused and fixates on the target, just as the shooter points the rifle that direction...

Enough of the scenario. But, when the couple is lying in bed that evening, how would the AS feel knowing that they were having the conversation about how to handle the situation and instead of dealing with the issue, it was avoided because of a flippant comment.

Sure, there isn't much of a chance of that happening. But then, there isn't much of a chance of being shot in a mall or in church either, but we all know it can happen. It could happen while we're waiting for the right question to be asked rather than pushing the conversation.

We're not all JD and Lima- most of us live with a spouse that doesn't take things as seriously as we do. Whether you have a wife that trains from time to time but doesn't always carry or pay attention to their surrondings or a husband that you can't force to go to the range- only you know your situation. If evil looks you in the eye, do what has to be done to make sure you both make it home. And even if you both do train and make an effort to always be prepared, you know down deep which one of you is better able to deal with a situation. So, let that person do what needs to be done. Work in support of them, be a teammate. But remember, every team has a leader. Democracy on the battlefield doesn't work.

__________________
"The only people I like besides my wife and children are Marines."
- Lt. Col. Oliver North



Firearm Facts
Christian Warrior Ministries