Rob72

So you give her some hand until she agrees? Seriously, I agree with you, men have a responsibility to protect the family, but how exactly are you going to "put your foot down", if the wife refuses your admonitions?

Better yet, suppose she takes your advice, against her will (aka, does not adopt a "warrior mindest"), and is violently assaulted? Her faith in you is gone, as well as confidence in herself. (Seen it, worked it.) Being ham-handed on this topic is rarely a good answer.

bzdog is right, its an evolutionary process. She's working out, if she can be enrolled in a sparring gym, the mindset will come, with some nuturing...

P991911

Rob, your totally taking everything out of context in this post as well as others. I doubt you are a bad guy but I'll assume that your not understanding what I am trying to say.
Also what do you mean "give her some hand?" What are you suggesting? Is that the first thing you do when you need to "put your foot down,'' sorry Mister, I don't beat people into submission if that is what you are trying to imply.
When I say put your foot down, it means don't take no for an answer. Pull your wife up to the computer and show her some videos on youtube, look up news reports, give her factual evidence. Then, ask her to supply evidence to support her claims of not needing to carry a weapon. Look, your right in the fact that if somone agrees without adopting the mind-set it is dangerous. This is why you have to convince her and you don't stop until you do. There is no time for the "evolutionary process" because a woman can be viciously assaulted the moment she walks out of the door. I just find it funny that you always seem to pick one thing out and lambase it. You did not even address my post as a whole.


THIS IS THE BOTTOM LINE. It is a husbands DUTY to ensure his family's safety. If his wife is unarmed, and assaulted, and left unable to defend herself due to the fact that she is ignorant, then the husband has failed to do his job. As I previoulsy mentioned, it almost took a tragedy to change my wifes mind. I MADE A MISTAKE. I failed to do my job. Since when did you, among others adopt the after the fact mentality? As CWP holders, we are the part of society that refuses to be the sheep. We are thereby, circumventing the after the fact mentality. If the sheep mentality appeals to you, then turn your "mortar," into a cell phone and call the police next time a rather large individual is is threatening you or your family's life. By what you seem to be saying Rob, you indicate that it is ok to allow ones wife to simply walk about, as ignorant as ever to the dangers of every day life, until she is raped and almost murdered and then decides that maybe she should consider carrying a weapon. You will probably pick one thing, and take it out of context, so let me ask you this. What would you do if your wife was attacked and seriously injured, or even killed, because you did not arm her, and train her, simply due to the fact that "she didn't want too?" How would you feel? How would you justify that situation to yourself? By telling yourself that she had the right to make her own decisions? By telling yourself that it is not your responsibility? Society needs to re-learn a few basic things. Not everything is better just because people have a right. If this were the case then why dicipline your kids? They have a right as a living creature to do what they want right? After all, they didn't ask to be brought into this world. Rights are not rights if it infringes upon other's rights. As in this case, sacrificing a families security just because the wife doesn't like guns. Our society is crap now because everything is acceptable and everyone has "rights." The word "rights," by the way, are used way too loosely and has become synonomous with irresponsibility in most cases. I am interested in hearing your response. However if it is one of your two sentence posts declaring how awful or how uninformed I must be because of my willingness to defend my family, then I wont even bother to respond to any more of your posts.


You know Rob, most people have to pay money for advice like this. Merry Christmas


P.S. If your wife decides to take your advice, and accepts proper training, the next time she is assaulted, she will have no excuse for not putting two in the chest and one in the head.

Rob72

P99, most "sheep" are of the passive-agressive sort; the more you emphasize something, the more resistant they are to change. While the direct approach will work with some, it most certainly will not work with others. I've worked lots of DV, and more than a few sexual assaults, I recognize the "interpersonal dynamics", both in a professional and personal level.

My point is simply that if one is overbearing, one is unlikely to make a convert, in any context. "Logic" and "proof" are rarely the dominant elements of many people's daily lives. My point is that "putting one's foot down" is unlikely to have the desired effect, or lend credibility to one's argument, in the majority of relationships.

A gentleman on the internet asked for advice to help his wife. Perhaps their relationship is unusually hierarchial, again, most are not. As I stated, in concept, I agree with you, but bz's more circumspect approach may serve somewhat better.

My wife has been assaulted, prior to our marriage. Your perspective is duly noted.

1911packer

Have you taken her shooting? Make a day of it with other activities like shopping. Use a low recoil .22 and keep the target close. Don't get into teacher mode, just enough for safety and how to aim.

Using a low-key, no big deal approach, a lot of anti-gunners can be brought around. It can take some time, but losing their fear of firearms is a big first step.

AutoFan

Look, we've been married for 18 years now, and I've gotten her moved from her anti-gun family's position to actually letting me drill holes in our brand new hardwood floors for a new gun safe. She hangs out with my shooting friends and has no problem with me taking our son and his friend shooting. She just isn't to the point of carrying a gun because she doesn't think she would use it. Nothing wrong with knowing your limitations. Now she is getting more aware of personal safety, and I want to present her with options she will carry and can see herself using in a SD situation.

I would love for her to go shooting with me and get a CWP and carry a gun for personal defense. But I also know it ain't gonna happen in the near future. If your wife or girlfriend does what you tell her to do, when you tell her to do it, you are living in a different time or place.

The Kimber OC device looks promising, as does the civilian Air-Taser, in addition to the personal alarm.

Someone suggested another dog to go running with her, our dog is big enough (a 70 lb black Lab), she justs runs him into the ground with the heat down here.

Rob72

Auto, for the money, I'd stick with the OC of some sort, a good light, and maybe a pocket-stick, or small fixed blade. No doubt, the Tazer can work, but... we just had an attempted suicide do a 3 story header out of a window, when PD tried to Taze him, and only got one contact on him. (oops!)

Everything has limitations. If you can get a good deal on the Tazer, or get in with a good trainer, it could be worth it.

ExSoldier is down there somewhere in Fl. You might PM him, to see if he's got any other ideas, or local sources for you. Good luck!

(Holes in the hardwood floor? You're making progress!)

P991911

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda. Somtimes that is worse then the actual outcome. It is all up to you. I am just trying to give you the best advice that I can. As for "Hyarchial," and "different time and place.?" A man's duty has not changed for centuries and there are good reasons for it. Without getting into specifics, men and women are different. Each one, has a purpose. I will leave it at that. I guess all I can say, is that it truely is up to you all, to determine what is right and what isn't in your relationships. Also, I can say that I can feel confident knowing that I have done everything I need to do to ensure safety. If anything should happen, I know at least that I have zero reasons to blame myself. Although, that doesn't make anything ok, it is a step towards recovery.


mabey you should show this to some people to change their minds.


http://www.semperfirearms.com/images/Pro_Gun_Posters/CHOOSE%20BETTER%20TOOLS.jpg

Rob72

Oleg does great work for the RKBA.
http://www.olegvolk.net/