Teen suicide

Teen suicide

This is a discussion on Teen suicide within the Bob & Terry's Place forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Has been a long night. Came home from work last night to my Daughter crying so hard she couldn't talk. After I got her calmed ...

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Thread: Teen suicide

  1. #1
    Distinguished Member Array TSKnight's Avatar
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    Teen suicide

    Has been a long night.
    Came home from work last night to my Daughter crying so hard she couldn't talk. After I got her calmed down, she shared a FaceTime video of a friend taking a bottle of pills.
    The young lady is in ICU this morning as I type.

    In talking with my Daughter I found out that her friend has been saying she wanted to die for a couple of weeks. The girls have tried to talk with her and tell her how much they care.
    My Daughter feels like she failed her friend.

    Talk with your kids, grandkids, neighbor kids. Even if you have nothing in common, just acknowledging that you see them as worth knowing. No telling what impact you might have on their lives.I

    For me? God has granted me another day in which to serve Him. My job is to simply follow where He leads.
    Democracy:
    Two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner.
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  2. #2
    VIP Member Array graydude's Avatar
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    Thatís a tough situation. This hits close to home, we almost lost a daughter to suicide but were fortunate a friend intervened (that friendís sister had committed suicide, she literally dragged my daughter to a school counselor when she got wind of the plan). My daughter went through a half year of hospitalization, is still in counseling, and is doing well now.

    Youíve probably already told your daughter itís not her fault, and are correct. But there will be a long period of self doubt and regret sheíll have to work through. Be sure to remind her she matters to you, and point blank ask if sheís thinking of hurting herself too.
    xXxHeavy, G26Raven, AzQkr and 7 others like this.
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  3. #3
    Member Array entertainment72's Avatar
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    The girl is very desperate for attention if she is filming herself eating a bottle of pills and uploading it to social media. Not much more your daughter could do if she had already reached out.

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    The young lady is in ICU this morning as I type.
    Let's hope she pulls through and gets the help she needs.

    In talking with my Daughter I found out that her friend has been saying she wanted to die for a couple of weeks. The girls have tried to talk with her and tell her how much they care.
    My Daughter feels like she failed her friend.
    Normal reaction, be sure to tell her that she was not responsible for the actions of the other girl. If someone is determined to take their own life, they will find a way.
    MY RIGHTS DON'T END WHERE YOUR FEELINGS BEGIN

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    My BEST friend for decades went into a downward spiral, ending in eating his dad's 1911. Just like stopping a shooter/terrorist, other person, with bad intention's you can't blame yourself. Do what you can, & if they are a minor, well, I'm at a loss, as I'm not a professional, but that's probably the way to go. Counseling too.
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    I think it's important to know when to get authorities involved. No blame to the friends who (I assume) didn't do so, there's a lot of social programming that tells people to avoid that. It needs to be understood that it's okay to get third parties involved if someone is at risk of suicide. Sometimes people need professional help, whether or not they seek it on their own.
    "Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes shoot dangerous people. Either way helps."
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  8. #7
    VIP Member Array OldChap's Avatar
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    I've been doing that for a long time. I will say that one thing most people neglect doing is to CALL A PROFESSIONAL IMMEDIATELY.

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
    Call 1-800-273-8255
    Available 24 hours everyday


    You can help by going to their side, but sadly sometimes people who do not deal with suicide issues may say the wrong thing. Don't allow fear that you may say the wrong thing stop you though. Be a good listener and don't talk a lot. Try if you can discreetly and safely do it, to remove any weapons or drugs (pills) and do whatever you can to put those things on your person where only you can access them.

    In larger communities, law enforcement may have trained and experienced officers that can help. Don't call police in the presence of the person you're trying to help. Be reassuring to the person when officers arrive.

    There are some good materials available from your local suicide lifeline people that will explain more.

    @TSKnight I'm sorry your daughter and you had to experience this. Wish I could have been there for you, brother.
    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."

  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array TSKnight's Avatar
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    Thank you.

    I have not heard anything since this morning. Praying that is for the good.
    My Daughter is with her in-home worker tonight and is as good emotionally as can be expected right now.

    No, none of the friends reached out for help, even though it is readily available within the school and outside.
    That is where my Daughter seems to be at right now. Kicking herself for not telling someone about what her friend had been saying.

    I've been there myself many years ago before I got sober. God saw fit to put people in my life that I needed at that time. They convinced me to get the help I needed.

    I have lost three good friends to suicide, two in the last 15 years. Losing them was difficult as an adult. I can only imagine how much more difficult it is for a teen to get through.
    Democracy:
    Two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner.
    Freedom:
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  10. #9
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    When the wife was still drinking, sober for 8 years now, she tried committing suicide multiple times and was hospitalized after 3 of them. Being bipolar, the alcohol was negating her medications and the doctors were having a hard time finding the right combo that worked because of the drinking, which I found out later she hid from them.

    There is no way to describe the helpless feelings you have watching someone you love laying there in a coma, tubes everywhere, clinging to life. Thankfully she is still with us and doing well. She's on the right med combo, sees her counselor once a month and is enjoying life.

    I think your daughter did the best she could and no matter what she could have, would have done, it seems as though her friend was going to try killing herself in spite of efforts to help. But to Facetime people while she did it shows she has mental health issues and the suicide attempt is just the beginning. I pray she makes it through this and gets the help she desperately needs.
    airslot, TSKnight and Redbert31 like this.

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    My first girlfriend attempted suicide while we were together for no apparent reason that I could ascertain at the time. She then attempted to murder me. That's when I left her and about two years later, a buddy called me after I returned home from work and informed me that this very disturbed young woman had finally succeeded in killing herself. I just dropped to my knees and lost it.

    If someone actually intends to take their own life they will eventually do it. There is nothing anyone else can do to prevent it... And, just to clarify a fact, it is not my fault my former girlfriend took her own life.
    And Jesus said, "If you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one." (Luke 22:36)

    I am a peaceful man. But I am not a pacifist.

  12. #11
    Distinguished Member Array TSKnight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by giz5792 View Post
    When the wife was still drinking, sober for 8 years now, she tried committing suicide multiple times and was hospitalized after 3 of them. Being bipolar, the alcohol was negating her medications and the doctors were having a hard time finding the right combo that worked because of the drinking, which I found out later she hid from them.

    There is no way to describe the helpless feelings you have watching someone you love laying there in a coma, tubes everywhere, clinging to life. Thankfully she is still with us and doing well. She's on the right med combo, sees her counselor once a month and is enjoying life.

    I think your daughter did the best she could and no matter what she could have, would have done, it seems as though her friend was going to try killing herself in spite of efforts to help. But to Facetime people while she did it shows she has mental health issues and the suicide attempt is just the beginning. I pray she makes it through this and gets the help she desperately needs.
    Been there done that. You are right that there is no way to describe the feelings that will allow someone else to understand.

    Getting the idea across to my Daughter that she did what she could and is not to blame for what her friend did is the t tough part.
    On a cognitive level she understands. That hasn't connected with her emotionally yet.
    airslot, maxwell97 and Redbert31 like this.
    Democracy:
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    Freedom:
    A well armed lamb contesting the vote.

  13. #12
    VIP Member Array bigmacque's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxwell97 View Post
    I think it's important to know when to get authorities involved. No blame to the friends who (I assume) didn't do so, there's a lot of social programming that tells people to avoid that. It needs to be understood that it's okay to get third parties involved if someone is at risk of suicide. Sometimes people need professional help, whether or not they seek it on their own.

    This is particularly good advice when it comes to teens ..... teens should understand before they hear of a situation with a friend that they (the teen) are not likely equipped to handle it and they need to know to bring in an adult that can get the help that's needed.
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  14. #13
    VIP Member Array graydude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf357 View Post
    If someone actually intends to take their own life they will eventually do it. There is nothing anyone else can do to prevent it... And, just to clarify a fact, it is not my fault my former girlfriend took her own life.
    Sorry for your loss, that had to be a tough situation.

    I disagree about the inevitability of suicide, though. In our case our daughter had a plan, had the tools (a knife), had practiced dozens of times without our awareness, and was only caught by a friend when she let something "off" slip. She was a great actress and kept her problems hidden. After being asked she plainly admitted it, and spent the next half year hospitalized. Personal and family counseling got her to express how much she disliked herself. It also helped her recognize how she would talk herself into downward spirals in major depressive episodes. It also helped her learn to recognize when she was doing this to herself, and mental techniques to walk back from the edge.

    She's still in counseling, still on meds, but back to a normal life and hasn't had a major depressive episode in over a year. In a couple years, when her hormones stabilize more (part of the problem, extreme estrogen swings like nuclear powered PMS contribute in her case) she'll taper off her meds. She'll face this forever, but suicide is not inevitable. Others with similar medical problems have overcome the same challenge and lived long productive lives.
    Ride hard, shoot straight, always speak the truth

  15. #14
    Distinguished Member Array TSKnight's Avatar
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    Just a quick update. The young lady is out of ICU and was moved to an inpatient rehabilitation center this afternoon.
    Praying she will accept the help that is offered.
    My Daughter is in much better spirits since hearing that her friend made it and is getting the help she needs.
    Democracy:
    Two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for dinner.
    Freedom:
    A well armed lamb contesting the vote.

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