Practice de-escalation - Page 4

Practice de-escalation

This is a discussion on Practice de-escalation within the Featured Topics forums, part of the Welcome To DefensiveCarry.com category; Originally Posted by atctimmy Did you ever ask your dad how he learned that particular lesson? Hard question for so early in the morning isn't ...

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Thread: Practice de-escalation

  1. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by atctimmy View Post
    Did you ever ask your dad how he learned that particular lesson?
    Hard question for so early in the morning isn't it?
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  2. #47
    Senior Member Array Okeechobee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rhinoman View Post
    My dad was a trucker and drove mostly at night. He gave me lots of advice.

    He said that over half of the people who are driving after midnight on Friday and Saturday nights are over the legal limit.
    Nothing good happens after midnight.
    Be particularly careful at 2:00 a.m. because that's when the bars close.
    If someone tailgates you, let them by even if it means pulling over for a few seconds. You never know what's going on in the other car. Someone could be rushing a kid to the hospital. It could be a volunteer fireman responding to a call. It could be some maniac who just killed someone and is heading for the border. No matter what, it's not your business.
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    Get to writing it then. I would like to read the rest of the story.

  3. #48
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    Turning the other cheek so to speak is hard, especially when I know I am right.

    The best piece of advice I received when I got married was "You can be right, or you can be happy. Pick ONE."
    That advice seems to apply to many areas of life, this one included. Great post @atctimmy
    atctimmy, AzQkr, kerberos and 1 others like this.
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  5. #49
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    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet." -- General James Mattis
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  6. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Specializedjon View Post
    Thanks for sharing that Timmy. I can be a "hot head" at times. Then I tell myself "This dude isn't worth it" and move on. Driving is the only time I have a short fuse...mainly Prius drivers. hahaha (Sorry Prius drivers)

    (Reference my "What are you thankful for" post)

    Guy came into the LGS. His car parked in front of the door was a Prius with an NRA sticker, an Oregon Firearms Federation sticker, and an Oregon Hunters Association sticker on the back. I was impressed.
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  7. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by LimaCharlie View Post
    Guy came into the LGS. His car parked in front of the door was a Prius with an NRA sticker, an Oregon Firearms Federation sticker, and an Oregon Hunters Association sticker on the back. I was impressed.
    That's pretty cool, dangerous for him especially in Oregon. I was driving behind a Prius one day and it had a sticker that read "Cool Prius" - Nobody LOL

    I know a few Prius owners that are cool. There's just something about them on the road that turns them into "hazards" (Family forum restraint applied)
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  8. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by msgt/ret View Post
    Having been rear ended by (expletive deleted) fools tailgating me I no longer endure such aggressive behavior. I will either pull over, move to a turn lane or find some other way to force the brainless idiot to go around me.
    Me too. In fact twice this week I have had to do exactly that, once while riding my motorcycle and once in the car. Karma eventually will catch up with those aggressive drivers. In fact I witnessed it happening right here in this little Western Washington community last year.

    I was on my bike behind a pick up truck with two or three teenage boys in it. They were getting frustrated that that the old beat up Ford Taurus in front of them insisted on driving the the speed limit and wouldn't respond to their tailgating and let them pass. Finally in a no passing zone they whipped by that old Ford, celebrating their "victory" with arms flung out of both windows, The Finger proudly displayed. Their victory lost its luster when the driver of that old Ford lit up the blue and red lights behind the grill emphasized by a tap of the siren. Made. My. Day. Great undercover car you've got there, officer.
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  9. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
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  10. #54
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    It amazes me how some people lose their composure so easily when driving.
    Just a few days ago, I was flipped off by a driver on I-26, in S.C. I was in the middle lane, with no other vehicle around me. I saw another vehicle in my rearview mirror, and I could tell by his rate of closure that he was moving much faster than me. I assumed he would shift to the fast lane, and fly on past me. Nope. He stayed in the middle lane until he was so close to me that I couldn't see his grill. Then, he yanks the wheel to move to the left lane, blows the horn as he goes by me, and flips me off. And he stayed beside me for a few seconds, while flipping me off, I guess in hopes that I would respond. I didn't. He finally floored it, and moved on, while holding his left arm out of the window, continuing to flip me off.

    Yes, I was very angry at his behavior, and wanted to see him get some measure of comeuppance. But had I acted in accordance with my anger, my actions would've been no better - road rage is road rage - than his. And I would've become a real danger to other motorists too. 70+ mph is no time to try matching wits with an idiot.

  11. #55
    VIP Member Array Fizban's Avatar
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    Personally, it is my intent to reframe from escalating or inflaming a situation with unnecessary actions or retorts. To me it is simply a matter of not adding fuel to the fire of emotion. I do not really see that as a de-escalation, I am simply not making a bad situation worse. Trying to calm someone down( especially a stranger), appease them or placate them in some way can often be seen as weakness. Weakness is not always a good quality if you are trying to avoid a confrontation. I wont try to reason with or calm someone acting like an idiot, someone intoxicated or someone with an obvious mental disturbance. If I can simply walk away without being attacked, I will walk away. That would certainly qualify as a de-escalation tactic and its probably about as much de-escalating as I would be willing to do.
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  12. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by msgt/ret View Post
    Having been rear ended by (expletive deleted) fools tailgating me I no longer endure such aggressive behavior. I will either pull over, move to a turn lane or find some other way to force the brainless idiot to go around me.
    I'm with you. Years ago, in my first defensive driving class, the instructor advised to just gradually slow down to the minimum posted speed and wait for the person to pass. I found out pretty quickly how poor that advice is. If a person is right on my rear bumper and I'm in the slow lane and running the speed limit, they can go around me, or I'll extricate myself from the situation at the first safe place to pull alongside the road and let the idiot pass me. I'm an old man with a five year old kid in the car with me everywhere I go. Even though he knows that if the pistol comes out his fingers go in his ears and don't come out until the pistol goes away, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure he never sees that pistol come out, except to go in the safe...
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  13. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hodad View Post
    I receive numerous opportunities (almost every night) to practice de-escalation techniques.

    Most of it with my wife!!
    I generally go with concealment (me) and avoidance. Those tactics are easier than de-escalation once SWMBO gets escalated. I had to lose 40+ pounds: it was getting to hard to hide with all that extra weight.
    Last edited by mkh; October 27th, 2017 at 05:48 PM. Reason: spelling
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    You don't want to escalate a scenario that has you sitting in the same room as a jury of your peers.
    I'm not sure whether a jury full of OldVets would be a good or bad thing.
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  15. #59
    Senior Member Array BamaT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msgt/ret View Post
    Having been rear ended by (expletive deleted) fools tailgating me I no longer endure such aggressive behavior. I will either pull over, move to a turn lane or find some other way to force the brainless idiot to go around me.
    I do the same, and where there isn't a place to get out of the way, on a two lane road I move toward the shoulder to allow them plenty of room to pass; almost always they take advantage and pass.
    Okeechobee and msgt/ret like this.
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  16. #60
    Senior Member Array BamaT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkh View Post
    I generally go with concealment (me) and avoidance. Those tactics are easier than de-escalation once SWMBO gets escalated. I had to lose 40+ pounds: it was getting to hard to hide with all that extra weight.
    Agree totally! Avoidance is always first for me.
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