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Any way to check a claim that someone is a Vet?

5K views 63 replies 47 participants last post by  Eagleks 
#1 ·
Hi guys,

My daughter has hooked up with a gentleman who is claiming to have been in the Navy and the Army and had two helicopter accidents and is now a disabled vet.

He has talked her into marrying him, but he has not put her on his military insurance. I understand that there is a 60 day period where he should be filing paperwork to get her on it (It's something like Triton). He made her quit her job and claims they put all their stuff in storage in Oregon because a crazy roommate threatened them. He said he'd be buying his own car but has not. He was going to take them on a trip to Europe and Africa and now I find out he's got claustrophobia and is (allegedly) afraid to fly. That makes no sense.

Her mother claims she knows this guy is legit, but she's lied before and my daughter's past 'fiances' have lied before.

He does not look like a vet, he makes her drive him and doesn't own a car, and long story short made her take a train to Las Vegas to get married then said he'd fly back and reneged after she bought a ticket to fly home and made her drive for three days straight to get back to her job.

IOW, he may be legit, but short of hiring a PI, is there a way I can give someone a full name and they can check if he has a service record and if he's just using her to get to me since she's my only heir.

I'm kind of at my wit's end, and they now want me to babysit his kids from another wife and are angry that I won't take him at his word.

This is the right forum for this. I looked on the site where you can check and you have to be a family member. I just know location of birth, (Hawaii) and first, last and middle initial.

He's posted one picture of him in uniform (from a distance) and no other guys in it, him standing on a tank.

Thanks and sorry to be a bother.
 
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#4 ·
Not a bother...wish I could help. I know nothing but with what you're telling me, he's worth the money to check him out THOROUGHLY. I'd take his full name and google it ...I'd spend money with a PI...I'd want to know about a driver's license...why he doesn't own a car. There are online sites to pay a fee and get detailed report but I don't know which are legit and which fraudulent...fine world we live in. I'd talk to my lawyer about a trust-type protection so that what you leave her would be protected from him and her mother...if possible in your state. The hair on the back of my head's standing straight out on this one...don't spare the effort to find out who/what he is. I would make SURE to get some DNA samples preserved from him...and keep them just in case they were ever needed. This doesn't ring true.
 
#5 ·
There's a bunch of red flags there, of which you are well aware. Have you had a chance to have a one on one conversation with this man? If he is not a vet he will not have the knowledge to be conversant to another vet about service related life.
 
#6 ·
If their married already seems your behind the curve. If he "made" her do all that stuff I would guess she doesn't have a mind of her own and nothing you do is going to change her at this stage of life. If your worth so much $$$ that this guy hunted you out, and then married your daughter to get to you, you should have enough to take care of the problem.
:rolleyes:JMO
 
#12 ·
People make fake DD214s all the time.

@BadgerJ if you want to know for sure, you will have to submit an FOIA request for his service record.

Just out of curiosity, would you mind PM'ing me this persons name?
 
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#10 ·
Hi guys,

My daughter has hooked up with a gentleman who is claiming to have been in the Navy and the Army and had two helicopter accidents and is now a disabled vet.
Ask him about his "accidents." Get specifics about when and where they supposedly happened. Then do a Freedom of Information Act request to the United States Army Safety Center for the accident report. All Army air accidents, even in combat, are investigated and aircraft ones are kept at the US Army Safety Center at Fort Rucker, AL.

If he was put out medically, he will have a blue colored United States Uniformed Services identification card (DD Form 2 Retired) showing a US Army logo on the right side and a Department of Defense logo on the left side.

If he is receiving VA Disability Compensation he will receive it monthly based upon a rating. He can go to eBenefits (A VA site) and print out a benefits verification letter. Of course, if they are married she should be able to see his bank account statement and tell if there are deposits from the VA and from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service for medical retirement pay.

He has talked her into marrying him, but he has not put her on his military insurance. I understand that there is a 60 day period where he should be filing paperwork to get her on it (It's something like Triton). He made her quit her job and claims they put all their stuff in storage in Oregon because a crazy roommate threatened them. He said he'd be buying his own car but has not. He was going to take them on a trip to Europe and Africa and now I find out he's got claustrophobia and is (allegedly) afraid to fly. That makes no sense.
There is no waiting period for her to get a dependent identification card and inputted into DEERS (Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting Service) so she can get added to his medical insurance, aka TriCare (and there is no waiting period for TriCare).

Another way, if she has his social security number, is to make a FOIA request for his DD214 from the military. It takes about 120 days though.
 
#36 ·
Ask him about his "accidents." Get specifics about when and where they supposedly happened. Then do a Freedom of Information Act request to the United States Army Safety Center for the accident report. All Army air accidents, even in combat, are investigated and aircraft ones are kept at the US Army Safety Center at Fort Rucker, AL.

If he was put out medically, he will have a blue colored United States Uniformed Services identification card (DD Form 2 Retired) showing a US Army logo on the right side and a Department of Defense logo on the left side.

If he is receiving VA Disability Compensation he will receive it monthly based upon a rating. He can go to eBenefits (A VA site) and print out a benefits verification letter. Of course, if they are married she should be able to see his bank account statement and tell if there are deposits from the VA and from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service for medical retirement pay.



There is no waiting period for her to get a dependent identification card and inputted into DEERS (Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting Service) so she can get added to his medical insurance, aka TriCare (and there is no waiting period for TriCare).

Another way, if she has his social security number, is to make a FOIA request for his DD214 from the military. It takes about 120 days though.
To be on TriCare he would have to be Retired (either via time or medical) otherwise his medical services are through VA Eligibility (0 - 100%). Dependents have 0 waiting for TriCare but I can't recall the regs for dependents for VA coverage (or even if regular VA eligibility extends to spouses). IF retired he should have a Retired DoD ID card. If VA eligible he should have a VA Insurance ID Card.
 
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#11 ·
My bs detector is going off.
If he is unwilling to provide a copy of the separation document or his service record, then something is really wrong.
A five minute conversation should tell if he is on the up and up.
But if she already married the guy, it’s a little late.
If you think he’s just a gold digger then change your will.


Name, SSN, and branch of service are all you need to find out.


Quite a few years ago, my sister had a falling out with the family. And it was over a guy.
She enlisted in the navy and hadn’t heard from her. Long story short, my mom and dad were doing so well and my mom is really worried about my sister. I was able to call the Navy and found out by providing them the information I have but she was still enlisted. And even that she was currently at sea. But they would not tell me on what ship.
So, I was able to provide my parents with the knowledge that she was still alive and OK. That gave them both some peace of mind.
 
#13 ·
As a retired vet myself that one has the alarm bells at a deafening level, have you tried eVetRecs to get a copy of his DD214 yet? Also if he claims to be getting health care from the VA he should have a VA ID card.

https://vetrecs.archives.gov/VeteranRequest/home.html
 
#16 ·
I think a bigger picture is being missed here. What are you trying to accomplish? If you are trying to prevent the marriage because the guy is a bum, I would focus on that. He could be a veteran, but still a bum. I think the idea of hiring a PI is a good one. Whether or not he is a vet, there is probably some other embarrassing things in his past. He might have a wife or active girlfriend somewhere. He might have a record.

If the daughter is looking at the relationship through "love goggles" you are going to need something more than not being able to find his service record to convince her to break it off. If what you come up with is not decisive, she'll still get married, but then hate you for trying to break it up.

As far a babysitting, my wife and I have a rule: We babysit our granddaughter because we want to be with our granddaughter. We don't babysit just for the convenience of my daughter. We do not babysit other people's kids under any circumstances.
 
#17 ·
He sounds like a scammer. One minute being questioned by a veteran of the service he claims to have been in would establish his legitimacy. There are simple questions that can be asked that only another veteran would know the answers to.
 
#18 ·
I do not think that family qualifies for healthcare. I am not certain on that, but I know I was in 88~92 and they stopped continued coverage, meaning unless you have some reason for health visits, like the helicopter incident, then you do not get healthcare. Now that would only qualify the vet though (I think.)

man, sorry to hear all this, marriage is supposed to be happy, not sure why he is doing all that. Good luck.
 
#19 ·
My hair just stood on end! All of it! :gah:

You just described by EX-SIL perfectly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could curl hair with those stories.

Is he also self-centered? If so, how much?

As far a babysitting, my wife and I have a rule: We babysit our granddaughter because we want to be with our granddaughter. We don't babysit just for the convenience of my daughter. We do not babysit other people's kids under any circumstances.
Ditto!
 
#20 ·
@BadgerJ

It sounds to me like he is lying. Ifhe is a disabled Vet.he would have VA medical benefits. He cannot add your daughter to those benefits. You have too be a vet to get the benefits. The only other insurance benefit I know of for a person with a service related disability is SDVI, Service Disabled Veterans Insurance. It is life insurance for $10,000. It only covers the disabled Vet and your daughter could only be added as a beneficiary. He would also have a DD214 which is a record of his military service (all branches) and it would list his injury and disability.

Here are some questions you can ask him.

What was the injury that got him a disability? No one get a DV grade withou a serious and lasting injury.

What VA facility he used for medical care? He ought to be able to answer that in a second.

Whether he is thinking about paying the premium to double thee value of his SDVI? He ought to know about SDVI if he is disabled. It has been around for about 50 years.

What was his rank in the Navy and the Army? He would have eithe an E grade if enlisted or an O grade if an officer. Discharged as an E6, stark sergeant. If I joined another branch I would have stared at that rank but the title of that rank might be different like a Navy petty officer or Army specialist.

What was his MOS, military occupational specialty? That is a job title. I had two as you can see in my signature in this post. Pros was primary and Amos was additional. Everyone in the military has an MOS # and title. Har ot forget the name. If he does not seem to know what a MOS is he has to be a fake.

Your daughter’s future is at stake. Seems to me that a bit of confrontational questioning is in order. If I had the situation you are in I would sit him down and tell him the truth about thinking he is misrepresenting his service and I would tell him I neeed him to answer a few questions. Based upon your report the guy is no good.

Other than asking for prooof from him I know of no way you can obtain information about his service. Since it is personal information and military records can only be accessed ny the individual or family in the event the person is dead. But based upon his treatment of your daughter I would say his just no good, and that is besides his possible lying about his service.
 
#23 ·
I would also suggest you or your daughter pull her credit report. Since you are her parent, I would assume you have her ssn so you can do it if she doesn't want to. I would be worried about this guy opening accounts in her name without her knowledge. If something looks fishy on that, it may open her eyes just enough. I'm not sure about the legalities of pulling your child's credit report. You should weigh that in your mind before you do it.
 
#24 ·
@BadgerJ After reading your post, it occurred to me that I have heard this a number of times before - not from you, of course. So, with the feeling in my gut that there is something in your gut that makes you uneasy with this, let me make a couple of recommendations.

First, don't miss the forest for the trees. While stolen valor is despicable behavior, it is relatively low on the danger scale. If I were you, I would concentrate more on his possible criminal history, than his military history. The latter may be benign. The former may be incredibly important. From your account, this gentleman exhibits warning signs of a possible predator. Focus on the most important issue - don't panic, focus.

Second, the suggestion to hire a good private investigator is excellent. Some PI's are former LEO's. Try to find one with that kind of background. Be open and honest about what you sense when you discuss the matter with him/her. State your concerns - beginning with the most important possible criminal background.

Third, ask the PI how to covertly obtain a usable set of fingerprints and a DNA sample. It is relatively easy, but I won't detail it as each state may have specific restrictions. Trust the advice of the PI.

Fourth, use a camera phone to take covert photos of this character. Again, ask the PI how to best accomplish this. Be sure the date and time are set correctly on your cell phone. Good clear audio is also very helpful.

Lastly, I'm praying this situation is much ado about nothing - and indeed it usually is. But it always pays to be careful. Also pay attention to your personal safety until you get this resolved. DO NOT, under any circumstances, babysit any children that are not your own. @jmf552 said it best.

Let me add: A commercial background check is nowhere near as comprehensive as when a LEO runs one. The pay-for-it background checks are all based on public records - which means records obtained in open court. An LEO gets far more data. Find someone who works for a company that employs a good public record background firm and get a recommendation. They are not all equal. OR, just wait on the PI's report.
 
#32 ·
Talk with him, use some specific terms ONLY a military rat would know. Talk to a tanker and get a few specific ones if he claims he was in armour.

Or, if you can get his Soc. have someone runs a background check on him. Even a credit check might do it.
 
#33 ·
If your daughter isn't military ask her if they will stop at the BX on the nearest base and get you some cigarettes or something she can send to you. You'll find out quick if he has ever been military. That is unless he carries fake I.D. that will pass at the gate. My daughter has military I.D. so we stopped at a base to get something for my son on the way to his house. They would have let us go to the BX if I hadn't told them that I had a gun in the car for self defense. The guard was real nice about it though.
 
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