Dating Ads for Seniors -The Villages, Florida

Dating Ads for Seniors -The Villages, Florida

This is a discussion on Dating Ads for Seniors -The Villages, Florida within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; 'The Villages' Dating Ads You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ...

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Thread: Dating Ads for Seniors -The Villages, Florida

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array SatCong's Avatar
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    Dating Ads for Seniors -The Villages, Florida

    'The Villages' Dating Ads

    You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of
    anyone retiring and moving north.


    These are actual ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper.


    Who says seniors don't have a sense of humor


    FOXY LADY


    Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
    80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'),

    Searching for sharp-looking,

    sharp-dressing companion.

    Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
    ------------------------------ ----------------------


    LONG-TERM COMMITMENT

    Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband,
    Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot.

    Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath,

    not a problem.
    ------------------------------ ----------------------


    SERENITY NOW

    I am into solitude, long walks,

    sunrises, the ocean, yoga,

    and meditation.

    If you are the silent type,

    let's get together, take our hearing aids

    out and enjoy quiet times.

    ------------------------------ ----------------------


    WINNING SMILE

    Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks,

    corn on the cob and caramel candy.

    ------------------------------ ----------------------


    BEATLES OR STONES

    I still like to rock,

    still like to cruise in my Camaro

    on Saturday nights

    and still like to play the guitar.

    If you were a groovy chick,

    or are now a groovy hen,
    let's get together

    and listen to my eight-track tapes.


    ------------------------------ ----------------------


    MEMORIES

    I can usually remember

    Monday throughThursday

    If you can remember

    Friday, Saturday and Sunday,

    let's put our two heads together..
    ------------------------------ ----------------------


    My favorite


    MINT CONDITION

    Male, 1932 model, high mileage,

    good condition, some hair,

    many new parts including

    hip, knee, cornea, valves.

    Isn't in running condition,

    but walks well.


    AND FINALLY


    A lady in the Villages in Florida (a senior retirement community),

    was sitting on a bench, near another

    bench with a gentleman sitting on the bench.

    She asked him if he was new to the community and he said "no, I have owned a condo here for 20 years".

    She then said "I have been here for 15 years and

    I have never seen you around!".

    He then said "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!".

    She was stunned and finally asked him what he had done.

    He said that he had murdered his first wife!

    She was stunned again and after a long pause she said.



    So you're SINGLE???
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  2. #2
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    Don't think I will even attempt to add anything to that.
    Be careful of people who brag about who they are - a lion will never have to tell you who he's a lion.

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array graydude's Avatar
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    The Villages is a hot mess of STDs. Apparently folks at that stage of life still enjoy nooky, but don't bother with condoms. When anywhere near those retirement centers I wash my hands often and use plenty of hand sanitizer.
    Ride hard, shoot straight, always speak the truth

  4. #4
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    There are many different dating sites where you could get acquainted with a filipino girl. The question is how effective they are. I've been recommended to try this filipino dating site. What can I say, the site's not bad, it's free and I found quite a number of dating profiles that seemed to be genuine. But don't get too excited, you'll need to be really cool master of seduction to get something done right.

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array Gabill's Avatar
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    It's a wild place where a house or condo goes on the sales market and is sold within 30 minutes. Have known several people that has tried to buy there and went to look at a house and by the time they got to the home it was sold.
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  6. #6
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    Of lordy lordy I needed those laughs!
    Gabill and msgt/ret like this.
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  7. #7
    VIP Member Array matthew03's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by graydude View Post
    The Villages is a hot mess of STDs. Apparently folks at that stage of life still enjoy nooky, but don't bother with condoms. When anywhere near those retirement centers I wash my hands often and use plenty of hand sanitizer.
    This is completely true.
    https://www.facebook.com/Appalachian...125519/?ref=hl
    I don't train to fight some street urchin, I train to fight the evil version of myself, and that person scares me, because I know the time I put into my training on how to beat him.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array OldVet's Avatar
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    No, I do not live at The Villages. Couldn't stand to be around that many old farts.
    SatCong and msgt/ret like this.
    Retired USAF E-8. Curmudgeon on the loose.
    Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array LimaCharlie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SatCong View Post
    'The Villages' Dating Ads

    You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

    When I retired, we moved from Southwest Florida to Northwest Oregon. I voted for a sailboat in the Caribbean and my wife voted to be near her family. We compromised and moved to Northwest Oregon.
    Second Amendment: The difference between politicians and rulers.
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  10. #10
    Distinguished Member Array Old Sarge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldVet View Post
    No, I do not live at The Villages. Couldn't stand to be around that many old farts.
    Right on OV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array BigJon10125's Avatar
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    Fess up @OldVet , which one(s) yours?
    BigJon


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  12. #12
    VIP Member Array OldVet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigJon10125 View Post
    Fess up @OldVet , which one(s) yours?
    Just follow the signs.
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    BigJon10125 likes this.
    Retired USAF E-8. Curmudgeon on the loose.
    Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth

  13. #13
    Senior Member Array Stirling XD's Avatar
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    I'm surprised no one was bragging about still having a valid driver's license.
    msgt/ret and graydude like this.
    Has anyone tried turning the country off and then back on again?

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array LimaCharlie's Avatar
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    I always enjoyed driving slow behind the driverless Cadillacs and Lincoln Towncars. When you got alongside the car, you could see the little old white-haired lady driving while looking between the dash and underneath the top of the steering wheel.
    msgt/ret, OldVet and graydude like this.
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