Dad jokes

Dad jokes

This is a discussion on Dad jokes within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I really love my furniture. Me and my recliner go way back....

Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 33
Like Tree38Likes

Thread: Dad jokes

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array graydude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    3,334

    Dad jokes

    I really love my furniture. Me and my recliner go way back.
    CG11, DZUS and BamaT like this.
    Ride hard, shoot straight, always speak the truth

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array Nmuskier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Upper Michigan
    Posts
    4,850
    I have a fear of elevators. Half the time they let me down.

    I'm taking steps to get over it.
    BamaT and M1911A1 like this.
    Psalm 144:1

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array graydude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    3,334
    Quote Originally Posted by Nmuskier View Post
    I have a fear of elevators. Half the time they let me down.

    I'm taking steps to get over it.
    I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
    M1911A1 likes this.
    Ride hard, shoot straight, always speak the truth

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array Struckat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Lurking
    Posts
    3,527
    My Daddy called me Son kuz I’m so bright.
    Read our government's plan to destroy the Constitution.
    https://sustainabledevelopment.un.or...ormingourworld

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array jmf552's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    5,751
    The one I remember from my Dad was, "The forecast is chili today, hot tamale."
    BamaT likes this.
    Attack Squadron 65 "Tigers", USS Eisenhower '80 - '83, peackeeping w/Iran, Libya, Lebanon and E. Europe

  6. #6
    Member Array Unisaw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    177
    Why do cows have hooves? They lactose.
    G26Raven and ButtShot14 like this.

  7. #7
    flh
    flh is offline
    Distinguished Member Array flh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New York...NOT ...Noo Yawk
    Posts
    1,774
    Dad knows a lot but Papa knows everything



    Go Pack Go


    Don't try to get into my head there's barely enough room for me in there .

    Sonic .

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array scottync's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Tobacco Road
    Posts
    5,094
    What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead, I gotta give these two a lift.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array graydude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    3,334
    I can’t walk our dog by the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. Guess we shouldn’t have got a pure bread dog.
    veger and ButtShot14 like this.
    Ride hard, shoot straight, always speak the truth

  10. #10
    VIP Member
    Array CG11's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    NorthWestern Arizona
    Posts
    5,268
    What do you call a cow with no legs?? Ground beef.
    BamaT likes this.
    Be careful of people who brag about who they are - a lion will never have to tell you who he's a lion.

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array graydude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    NoVA
    Posts
    3,334
    Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms over night. There would be mass confusion.
    DZUS and G26Raven like this.
    Ride hard, shoot straight, always speak the truth

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array DZUS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    The Great State of Idaho
    Posts
    1,040
    Quote Originally Posted by graydude View Post
    Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms over night. There would be mass confusion.
    OMGosh, I'm so stealing this one.

    BTW, I invent "Dad Jokes" almost continuously, but I never think to write them down.
    graydude likes this.
    Armed And Harmless
    ----
    Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
    - - Sir Winston Churchill, 1941

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array OldVet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    The Twilight Zone
    Posts
    30,986
    What, no elephant jokes?
    Retired USAF E-8. Curmudgeon on the loose.
    Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array DZUS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    The Great State of Idaho
    Posts
    1,040
    Quote Originally Posted by graydude View Post
    I really love my furniture. Me and my recliner go way back.
    Have you heard about the young lady that dated forty different soldiers on an Army base?

    She wrote home and told her Dad not to worry...

    ... the relationships were strictly...

    ...platoonic.

    .

    .
    Armed And Harmless
    ----
    Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
    - - Sir Winston Churchill, 1941

  15. #15
    Distinguished Member
    Array Rockymonster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Idaho!
    Posts
    1,798
    What did the cow say when it got stuck in quicksand?

    “HELP! I can’t mooooove!
    "Once that bell rings, you're on your own. It's just you and the other guy.” - Joe Lewis

    “I’m not obsessive about cleaning my guns. I like them like my martinis and my women....a ‘little’ dirty.....”

    Member: GOA, SAF






Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 LastLast

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •