I may have committed a crime

I may have committed a crime

This is a discussion on I may have committed a crime within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow ...

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  1. #1
    VIP Member Array G26Raven's Avatar
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    I may have committed a crime

    It snowed last night...
    8:00 am: I made a snowman.
    8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
    8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
    8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
    8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
    8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
    8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
    8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
    8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
    8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
    8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
    8:43 - The city diversity officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
    8:45 - TV news crew from NBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
    9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
    9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
    9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
    By noon it all melted

    Moral:
    There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.
    "If you look like food, you will be eaten." Clint Smith, Thunder Ranch

    Learning occurs only after repetitive, demoralizing failures.

    "Who needs your truth if it stands in our way?"
    General Alexei Yepishev, political commissar of the Soviet Armed Forces

  2. #2
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    This is funny, and entirely believable.

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    I had to retreat to my safe space because you gave me a flashback to last Winter and my re-education 😰
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  4. #4
    VIP Member Array G26Raven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PPS1980 View Post
    I had to retreat to my safe space because you gave me a flashback to last Winter and my re-education 😰
    You've got to get your mind right, boy...
    airslot, ETXhiker, druryj and 1 others like this.
    "If you look like food, you will be eaten." Clint Smith, Thunder Ranch

    Learning occurs only after repetitive, demoralizing failures.

    "Who needs your truth if it stands in our way?"
    General Alexei Yepishev, political commissar of the Soviet Armed Forces

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by G26Raven View Post
    You've got to get your mind right, boy...
    😪 I am. Thatís what my safe space and comfort animal are for you meany 😭
    G26Raven, ETXhiker and airslot like this.
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    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    Senior Member Array KILTED COWBOY's Avatar
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    DC is my "safe space"

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    If you really wanted to stir the pot...You could of topped them off with MAGA hats!

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    Distinguished Member Array Novarider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cornhusker95 View Post
    If you really wanted to stir the pot...You could of topped them off with MAGA hats!
    Top that off with a toy AR-15 in its arms!

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array G26Raven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Novarider View Post
    Top that off with a toy AR-15 in its arms!
    Then everyone would have been offended, and no one would have felt safe!
    ETXhiker likes this.
    "If you look like food, you will be eaten." Clint Smith, Thunder Ranch

    Learning occurs only after repetitive, demoralizing failures.

    "Who needs your truth if it stands in our way?"
    General Alexei Yepishev, political commissar of the Soviet Armed Forces

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G26Raven View Post
    It snowed last night...
    8:00 am: I made a snowman.
    8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
    8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
    8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
    8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
    8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
    8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
    8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
    8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
    8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
    8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
    8:43 - The city diversity officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
    8:45 - TV news crew from NBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
    9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
    9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
    9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
    By noon it all melted

    Moral:
    There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.
    You're obviously unbalanced. Someone should hoist the banner....
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    baren, G26Raven and druryj like this.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by wmhawth View Post
    You're obviously unbalanced. Someone should hoist the banner....
    Donít you mean this flag?
    __________________
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    - Thomas Jefferson 1787
    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    NRA Life Member - Member GA Carry Organization

  12. #12
    VIP Member Array G26Raven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wmhawth View Post
    You're obviously unbalanced. Someone should hoist the banner....
    Unbalanced and politically incorrect.... And, proud of it!
    "If you look like food, you will be eaten." Clint Smith, Thunder Ranch

    Learning occurs only after repetitive, demoralizing failures.

    "Who needs your truth if it stands in our way?"
    General Alexei Yepishev, political commissar of the Soviet Armed Forces

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array G26Raven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PPS1980 View Post
    Donít you mean this flag?
    No, that's now the flag of the Democratic Party.
    "If you look like food, you will be eaten." Clint Smith, Thunder Ranch

    Learning occurs only after repetitive, demoralizing failures.

    "Who needs your truth if it stands in our way?"
    General Alexei Yepishev, political commissar of the Soviet Armed Forces

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by G26Raven View Post
    No, that's now the flag of the Democratic Party.
    Ah, yes AND itís red. Coincidence? You decide!
    G26Raven and airslot like this.
    __________________
    I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.
    - Thomas Jefferson 1787
    Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    NRA Life Member - Member GA Carry Organization

  15. #15
    Member Array retired badge 1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G26Raven View Post
    It snowed last night...
    8:00 am: I made a snowman.
    8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
    8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
    8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
    8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
    8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
    8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
    8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
    8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .
    8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.
    8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
    8:43 - The city diversity officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
    8:45 - TV news crew from NBC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.
    9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
    9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
    9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.
    By noon it all melted

    Moral:
    There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.
    I humbly beg permission to steal this and use it widely.

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